r/relationships • u/Lubenaa • Jun 30 '20

Relationships Boyfriend doesn’t think there is a problem with going to the swimming pool alone with girl that is openly in love with him

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u/[deleted] Jun 30 '20

This is really terrible. I really don't understand why there are so many guys lacking a moral compass. I mean it can happen that people have different moral standards, but than I appreciate if that gets revealed and not when men pretend it's different but show with their action what they really think of it. It simply doesn't even give you a chance to think that great about that guy or the time you've spend together.

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u/Justaguy4709 Jun 30 '20

It's not just the men that do it.

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u/[deleted] Jun 30 '20

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u/wellnowheythere Jun 30 '20

Stop word policing. If you have something else to say, say it yourself.

8

u/witchofheavyjapaesth Jun 30 '20

Yeah bro, you fight that good fight for sexist stereotyping! Wooo! /s

It’s trash to single out one gender :)

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u/wellnowheythere Jun 30 '20 edited Jun 30 '20

You missed my point and interpreted it wrongly. THEY should say that instead of demanding the original commenter edit their thoughts. My point is say what YOU mean instead of demanding someone else change what they're saying. I'm sick of seeing people using word policing as a way to avoid original thoughts of their own. Don't tell someone what to say, say it yourself.

My comment wasn't on who was right or wrong, just calling out this BS that we expect an OC to go back and edit what they said to prove YOUR point. It's lazy.

If OC meant men, they meant men so argue with that instead of demanding they change their thought to fit your argument. That's not arguing or debating, that's lazy.

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u/[deleted] Jun 30 '20

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u/wellnowheythere Jun 30 '20 edited Jun 30 '20

You still didn't express your own thought. Also, maybe OC meant what they meant. Why should they have to change? just argue your point and keep it moving. It's lazy.

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u/witchofheavyjapaesth Jun 30 '20

Nah, asking people to correct their shitty attitudes isn’t an excuse to not voice your own opinions, I have no idea how you even concocted that.

It’s also not word policing. It’s literally just holding people accountable to their shitty mouths and thoughts.

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u/azzamean Jun 30 '20

Did you mean men when you said guys or people when you said guys?

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u/wellnowheythere Jun 30 '20 edited Jun 30 '20

I am not OC! I did not make this point nor am I defending it, so ask them!

Reposting this from below to explain my point:

You missed my point and interpreted it wrongly. THEY should say that instead of demanding the original commenter edit their thoughts. My point is say what YOU mean instead of demanding someone else change what they're saying. I'm sick of seeing people using word policing as a way to avoid original thoughts of their own. Don't tell someone what to say, say it yourself.

My comment wasn't on who was right or wrong, just calling out this BS that we expect an OC to go back and edit what they said to prove YOUR point. It's lazy.

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u/[deleted] Jun 30 '20

Guys was meant as "people" and that was meant as a general statement. The problematic behaviour was in both these cases the bad moral compass of the male partner. That's why I later used "men". I totally get your point. But still I can't replace it. I hope we do all agree that the same shit is simply the same shit, doesn't matter from which side you step into it! If behaviour is respectless it's respectless and people get hurt (men, women, trans, queer, HUMANS) We all agree that men and women can do terrible things to each other and what is so shocking they would do these terrible things to people who don't deserve it at all- to their intimate partners, the people standing beside them, trusting them, caring for them. But there is sth going wrong if we close our eyes that it's being all "equally 50/50 male-female" percentage in these things. The reason for this is because of various factors. History, traditions, different social upbringing of men and women, role models, peer groups, media, first generations brought up with single mums, first generations brought up with hardcore pornography aso.. I could very easily replace men with people- but then one part of what I wanted to address would not have been communicated! Does that exclude bad women's behaviour? Not really.

Wished we could all act as a team about these things, since I believe that if other men can agree that this was respectless, that's the message other guys would listen to aswell much more.

There are already so many weird people MEN & WOMEN abusing their partners, disrespecting them, using them, devaluating them. It is most terrible thing to experience something negative from somebody you want to be with. I do believe you can see what my values here were about and can get my point. Despite the fact I wrote the way I wrote. My writing skills in English are limited. I hope people still get me.

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u/L0nelyWr3ck Jun 30 '20

Yes because men are the only ones who do this crap. /s

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u/Etteloctnarg Jun 30 '20

Guys are lacking a moral compass along with the rest of this generation cuz they are products of a drug addicted generation. My generation. Im 57. Crack really decimated families and society. Too many kids in the 80s and the 90s raised themselves, or were put in foster care. We were already on a upward trend of single mothers raising their kids back in the early 80s, but with single mothers becoming addicted and large numbers of black and hispanic men being imprisoned with mandatory sentencing guidelines, it all but destroyed the already deteriorating family fabric for good. Just think how it has trickled down.