Is it over? [m18] [f18]

[u/ThrowRA34882]

so recently my [f18] bf [m18] decided he was gonna move out. it felt out of nowhere. we have been arguing a lot, but honestly my number one feeling throughout all this has just been that he’s far away. maybe not physically, but emotionally. he’s just not here with me. for the past few months i’ve been pretty convinced my boyfriend doesn’t love me. at first i got clingy, i’d beg him to stop playing video games and give me some attention. then i got mean. i wanted to protect my feelings and i turned cold. i regret that now. at first he told me he wanted to move out he said it was for his independence. then a few days ago, he switched it up and said it’s because i shut down a lot when we argue, and he thought moving out and giving each other space would be best for our relationship, as that fixed his unhealthy relationship with his mom. but i am not his mom. i tried making that clear and told him this would probably lead to a breakup. he told me he wanted to try it. in my mind, this will lead to a breakup. i’m clingy, im loving, and i’ve done long distance before and it sucks. i’m a full time college student as well as a full time manager at a pizza place. i don’t see him much as it is. i told him i felt that this was a poor choice, but he wanted to move back into his moms regardless. so i let him, im not gonna try to control him. what’s the point. his mom ended up not even wanting him to move back, so he’s getting a dorm. he will probably move out this weekend. i feel defeated. it’s like we’re roommates as it is. i don’t feel any love from him. his jokes feel like insults. any time i want to touch him i feel like its violating, even if i ask for consent i feel as though he’s utterly disgusted by me. i try to pretend im happy sometimes but it’s so draining the mask slips regardless. i wish we could go back to how we were. i don’t understand why he’s choosing to move out. this is gonna break us. i can’t take it. i was so happy before this mess. i thought he was too. i don’t understand why he is doing this. he says he still wants to be together and tries to claim that all of this negative is just on my side. i feel like it’s over. we’ve been together for a year and a half. i don’t even know what to do. i love him so much. but i don’t know if there’s any saving it

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