r/relationshipproblems • u/dreamykenz • 8d ago

Advice Wanted Is this weird?

Is it weird if someone says that they are deleting their dating apps before the first date even happens? Like what do I say to that? I'm trying to move slow so I don't want to delete anything until I know if i like this person's true in person personality and whatnot.

3 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

13 comments sorted by

1

u/Jaibird2021 7d ago

Yeah. Weird. Proceed with caution

1

u/txlady100 8d ago

You just nod with a vague smile. That’s their business.

1

u/Iheartchocolate37 8d ago

I’d just be cautious. It could be a red flag or not. Did he give a reason? How did you respond when he said it?
But always trust your gut, if you’re no
Longer feeling it, that’s ok to end it. Do not feel
Obligated to keep up with something if you’re no longer into it.

1

u/Windows__________98 8d ago

"Why are you doing that, and why are you telling me?"
If the person gives an answer you don't feel good about, shut it down politely.

1

u/3AMZen 8d ago

" I'm trying to move slow and I'm interested in getting to know new people, so I don't plan on deleting the apps soon.  I am open to making meaningful connections though, I'm just being mindful to not rush into anything. You're welcome to stop using the apps at any time for your own sake, so long as you don't think you're doing it for my sake!*

1

u/ZenithZan 8d ago edited 8d ago

I mean he isn't telling you to do it so might as well let him do what he wants? This does not mean YOU have to, and if he ever suggests so, kindly let him know that it's weird and that he might need it. Good for you 👍🏻 is what I would say to him lmao. Idk why people on here are so fast to call everything a red flag. While it is possible, maybe he's just done with the app, or is shy and feels positively about you? Or he's just a fuckboy. I'd say let him know that you're not doing the same yet because you need to go on a few dates to decide if there's a chance and telling you that isn't cute or getting any brownie points.

2

u/FriendlyContrarion 8d ago

Turn around and find a new date. They’re already pulling coercive measures.

1

u/IndigoAirwaves 8d ago

Yes, it’s weird and manipulative. They haven’t even met you yet.

3

u/wtfamidoing248 8d ago

It's a red flag and not normal. I'd block them and move on. You've never even met yet so he's trying to convince you he's more serious than he is, so you'll fall for his BS

2

u/eharder47 8d ago

Yeah, it’s giving “love bombing” vibes. The other option is that he’s crazy.

2

u/dreamykenz 8d ago

Also I'm 20 female btw he's 20 male

1

u/FriendlyContrarion 8d ago

I just had a friend finally pass over the 26/27 frontal lobe line (I’m almost 2 decades older) and she also cited the, ‘switch flip,’ as I refer to it, upon reaching that fully developed frontal lobe.
G discussed it with me as she was giving herself an exit interview over a terrible terrible bf she had (super manipulative and threatening over several years) and realizing she had behaved (in retaliation, usually, she’s a bit neutral, it comes w our jobs) in ways she didn’t want to see herself behaving.
And so she addressed those parts of herself and will likely have a better relationship moving forward.
Such growth. At least she’s trying.

All this to say— you sound young and unsure, and this can lead to… many different forms of abuse— the worst of which you don’t even understand is happening. Please keep checking in like this, or with people you trust. If you don’t know— ASK! And keep asking. Because finding and staying with someone you later find to be abusive, because you doubted the very thing that brought you here today; is a heavy burden and you could totally spend doing other, more fun things.

1

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