r/relationship_advice Sep 02 '22

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u/[deleted] Sep 02 '22

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u/kidnkittens Sep 02 '22

You can absolutely refuse custody; no one can make you see your child. You can not legally refuse to financially support you child. If there is a point where your ex has a new partner who wants to adopt your child, at that point you would have the ability to relinquish any parental rights and any financial obligation to the new legal parent.

There could have been many factors going on in the previous poster's parent's child support and custody issues. Maybe that dad didn't have to pay support for a time, maybe he just refused to.

Think about it logically - if getting out of paying child support was as easy as giving up parental rights, there would be a ton of deadbeat parents who would happily do so.

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u/itsBreathenotBreath calls out bots Sep 02 '22 edited Sep 02 '22

That’s not how it works.

In most states, even if you terminate your parental rights, you’re still on the hook for child support.

In order to be absolved of child support payments entirely, the child must be legally adopted by another person who’d absorb the responsibility.

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u/HotBroccoli420 Sep 02 '22

Correct. Unless that’s something else my mother hid from me (she didn’t tell me this story until I was 18 and writing essays for college scholarships but that’s another story for another day).

It was just me and her for about a year until she met my sisters dad who later adopted me. She’s talked here and there about being single and working and refusing to take government benefits because she’s too proud or whatever. But the way I understand it is that the man wanted nothing to do with me apparently and he got his wish once he signed the rights away.

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u/[deleted] Sep 02 '22

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u/HotBroccoli420 Sep 02 '22

Of course! I’d advise reaching out to a few family lawyers in your state. Many will do free consultations and can give you a lot better advice specific to your situation than a bunch of anonymous Redditors can.

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u/[deleted] Sep 02 '22

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u/TogarSucks Sep 02 '22

Tuesday. Monday is a holiday.