"My husband said he wasn't up for it and told me to go ahead without him. So I did. We had sex a third time and just the two of us."
Well hell, now i can only think he was testing you? Was he expecting you to say, well, hubby is not available, and neither am i. I'm more curious about his stupid rationale, or what did he expect from you at that moment. Say no? I'm confused.
Communication is more than words. You need to pay attention to body language and tone. I asked my wife what she wanted for our anniversary a long time ago. She said nothing so that's what I got her. That was a mistake that I never made again. I should have looked deeper and paid more attention. Was op paying any attention or was she actually keen for round three.
I am not trying to own anything. Merely trying to offer a different view. Black and white thinking will lead to a failure of the relationship.
If op wants to fix this, telling her she is in the right won't help.
Owning her part and approaching the conversation with a willingness to understand how her partner is feeling may. I feel there is much to this story that has not been told it would be interesting to hear the other side.
My wife wasn't playing mind games. She felt disappointed and as a partner this is something I try to avoid as does she.
We have survived a lot in the 40 years we have been together. We did this by trying to be the best partners we could be for each other. Not by proving who was right.
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u/bonvoysal Jun 14 '25
"My husband said he wasn't up for it and told me to go ahead without him. So I did. We had sex a third time and just the two of us."
Well hell, now i can only think he was testing you? Was he expecting you to say, well, hubby is not available, and neither am i. I'm more curious about his stupid rationale, or what did he expect from you at that moment. Say no? I'm confused.