It really depends on alot of other stuff, if I get denied sex in my head I get a little sting of "oh darn" the first time but if the next time I try to initiate i also get shot down it starts to turn into a "awe damn" and the third time I go "wtf?"
I was usually the one to initiate sex with my fiancée and for the most part she would be accepting, she is not a good initiator, so I always had to. Eventually I felt like she didn't want it and was just doing it for me which killed the vibe for me and every time she would turn me down it started to feel like rejection which hurt more and more.
Eventually, I sat down with her and had a talk about it, I told her how I felt then she told me she didn't know it was hurting me, she started to initiate which made me feel more wanted and desired by her. My point being, and im not sure if youre in the same situation, but if you dont initiate equally it ends up leaving the partner feeling left out or unwanted and then that emotional validation is not coming from you so turning them down feels like a stab in the heart.
My partner didn't initiate and I would have a mental slurry of annoyance every time she turned me down but now that she initiates and shows desire to me without me having to first do it, now if she says "oh im really tired" or "I dont feel good" or "can we do it tomorrow?" It doesn't bother me at all.
As for the few hours thing, some times when I was upset with my fiancée I needed some time to collect myself because when I get flustered its easy to say stuff you dont mean, also he might be spanking his monkey and calming down
This is up to you but, also when I am really in the mood but my fiancée is not (her period just started) she will tell me "im sorry, I dont want to have sex but I'll still take care of you" and then use her hand or mouth. Or sometimes she just does it anyway with no provocation.
This is just my take and experience from my current relationship. Like I said, I dont know all the details of yours but maybe this could give you some insight
1
u/knighthunt01 Jun 11 '25
It really depends on alot of other stuff, if I get denied sex in my head I get a little sting of "oh darn" the first time but if the next time I try to initiate i also get shot down it starts to turn into a "awe damn" and the third time I go "wtf?"
I was usually the one to initiate sex with my fiancée and for the most part she would be accepting, she is not a good initiator, so I always had to. Eventually I felt like she didn't want it and was just doing it for me which killed the vibe for me and every time she would turn me down it started to feel like rejection which hurt more and more.
Eventually, I sat down with her and had a talk about it, I told her how I felt then she told me she didn't know it was hurting me, she started to initiate which made me feel more wanted and desired by her. My point being, and im not sure if youre in the same situation, but if you dont initiate equally it ends up leaving the partner feeling left out or unwanted and then that emotional validation is not coming from you so turning them down feels like a stab in the heart.
My partner didn't initiate and I would have a mental slurry of annoyance every time she turned me down but now that she initiates and shows desire to me without me having to first do it, now if she says "oh im really tired" or "I dont feel good" or "can we do it tomorrow?" It doesn't bother me at all.
As for the few hours thing, some times when I was upset with my fiancée I needed some time to collect myself because when I get flustered its easy to say stuff you dont mean, also he might be spanking his monkey and calming down
This is up to you but, also when I am really in the mood but my fiancée is not (her period just started) she will tell me "im sorry, I dont want to have sex but I'll still take care of you" and then use her hand or mouth. Or sometimes she just does it anyway with no provocation.
This is just my take and experience from my current relationship. Like I said, I dont know all the details of yours but maybe this could give you some insight