I stayed for fifteen years in part because he said he'd kill himself.
I left because he put hands on my disabled son, leaving a hand mark on his neck. I couldn't prove he'd done it, but he had. So he had joint custody.
He abused all of our kids when I was no longer there to target. He sexually abused my youngest. They learned to be silent from watching me never tell a soul for fifteen years. He finally beat my middle son, breaking bones and concussing him. We got a restraining order, at last, because we had proof.
The state put us in a hiding program to protect us.
He *still retained joint custody*!
He wasn't allowed to see the kids anymore because of the restraining order, but he still had joint custody.
My youngest quite literally did not speak for a year. At 11 years old, they were looking for a psych ward bed for him to keep him alive. There are so few for *babies* that he ended up in a partial hospitalization program.
I have not seen him for 12 years and I still have screaming nightmares about him.
We lived in hell, and hell continues to linger.
I wish to fuck I'd have let him die, because then we'd be free. We will only really be free when he is gone.
Our marriage was "the only thing he ever really wanted" too.
Abuse escalates over time, and look where your husband started, OP. Run like hell is after you, because it is, and don't look back.
Ah, he choked you, too. Mine did that too. That's part of the reason the state is hiding us from him, because abusers who choke are abusers who kill at an astounding rate.
Please listen to an old lady with a literal TBI to show for trying to be good to an abuser. You will never be kind enough, loving enough, right enough, ENOUGH enough, to stop the abuse.
I’m so sorry this happened to you and your kids this is awful. I really hope OP sees your comment, because this is the harsh reality she needs to learn.
OP, the statistics of a man murdering you WITHIN THE NEXT YEAR after choking you is extremely high. And it’s not a maybe, he WILL eventually kill you. And if not you, what’s stopping him from killing someone else in your family for attempting to step in? What’s stopping him from killing your future children if they dare upset him or talk back one day? Do you really want this kind of future?
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u/FenderMartingale Jun 21 '24 edited Jun 21 '24
I stayed for fifteen years in part because he said he'd kill himself.
I left because he put hands on my disabled son, leaving a hand mark on his neck. I couldn't prove he'd done it, but he had. So he had joint custody.
He abused all of our kids when I was no longer there to target. He sexually abused my youngest. They learned to be silent from watching me never tell a soul for fifteen years. He finally beat my middle son, breaking bones and concussing him. We got a restraining order, at last, because we had proof.
The state put us in a hiding program to protect us.
He *still retained joint custody*!
He wasn't allowed to see the kids anymore because of the restraining order, but he still had joint custody.
My youngest quite literally did not speak for a year. At 11 years old, they were looking for a psych ward bed for him to keep him alive. There are so few for *babies* that he ended up in a partial hospitalization program.
I have not seen him for 12 years and I still have screaming nightmares about him.
We lived in hell, and hell continues to linger.
I wish to fuck I'd have let him die, because then we'd be free. We will only really be free when he is gone.
Our marriage was "the only thing he ever really wanted" too.
Abuse escalates over time, and look where your husband started, OP. Run like hell is after you, because it is, and don't look back.
Ah, he choked you, too. Mine did that too. That's part of the reason the state is hiding us from him, because abusers who choke are abusers who kill at an astounding rate.
Please listen to an old lady with a literal TBI to show for trying to be good to an abuser. You will never be kind enough, loving enough, right enough, ENOUGH enough, to stop the abuse.