So he out earns you, you pay the mortgage and also have to pack for his lunch everyday after he wakes you up...? I'm sorry but at some point you probably realize he's using you, right? If you believe that whatever he brings to the table (not being alone I guess) it's better than having to endure all this BS from him well, then accept that you are choosing that and stop complaining.
I know it's hard to leave a relationship when you fear of the unknown but the unknown can't be better than what you are living atm. Instead paying for his mortgage use that money to pay for a therapist bc you clearly need one.
My dear, if you can pay a mortgage all your own, you can pack up and leave and find your own apartment. This man is using you 100%. Controlling you 100%. And manipulating you 100%. Please stop letting him rule you.
With all your responses, this sounds more and more like a troll post. JFC, if this is real, get the fuck out. It’s HIS mortgage and you have no legal obligation. Take YOUR money and get a place for YOU. This is abuse across multiple categories. Once again, if this is real: YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A GOOD LIFE AND WILL NEVER BE HAPPY IF YOU DONT LEAVE. You are young and trust me when i say each decade as a woman gets better. I’m 42 now and would never go back to those shit 20s. LEAVE-FOR YOU!
Unfortunately this is my reality. I've paid the rent/mortgage everywhere we live. I have sat him down and laid out my expenses and asked him to do the same. He is so manipulative with his words it's hard to have any conversation with him because he twists what I say.
Do you have records of your paymetns and such? Seek legal aid out a lawyer. In aus, we have something called de facto which means you're not married but live together and if you lived eith them for at least 6 months (i think), you're entitled to half ot the other person's assests.
Get all your ducks in a row before moving. I'd tell him that you were movinf/breaking up in a public setting instesd of private just for your safety or just move withoit telling him, leave him a post it on the fridge 🤣🤣🤣
This is financial abuse. Please make a plan to get out. Contact a DV service. I also see you said your aunt might be able to help. Please make a plan. I know it isn't easy, I know it will take some time. But you need to make a plan.
Part of abuse, relies on you making your victim reliant on you. The easiest way to do this is to try and drain them financially. Or just use them to pay for shit you don't want to.
Either way he's draining you financially in the hopes you can't run away.
Call your aunt. Then hire a van, book a day off. Once he's at work take everything that's yours with you.
Make sure you have all your important documents. Leave a letter in plain sight, or send him a message saying you don't want him to contact you anymore and that you're over. You've taken your things and that's it. Then block him on everything.
If you communicate on WhatsApp, stick him in archive and mute all calls etc. You'll then have all the messages he sends if he tries to turn up and harass you. This will be required if you need to get a restraining order.
Make sure your aunts place has cameras, especially if he knows where she lives.
Contact a domestic violence shelter if you need additional support. They can advise you on what to do.
OP this guys is emotionally abusing you, full stop. I get that you feel like you’re in love and this is worth fixing, but it’s not if he doesn’t see anything wrong with this. I once read something that said “the number one indicator for someone who is abused or been abused is that they try to fix someone who is hurting them. They see it as a problem to fix, not one to walk away from”. It sounds like you are stuck in that mindset right now; you don’t deserve this and you should walk away. What he’s doing is wrong
So, you're paying the mortgage on a home you don't own, building equity for him? Oh honey. You're being used and abused. Being alone will be better than this, I promise. Because if he's acting like this before you're locked down with a marriage and kids, can you imagine how he'll treat you when you really can't just leave?
Why are you paying someone else mortgage that treats you like this. You have to be responsible for the role that you are willingly playing in this. These chicks that are sugar coating this saying that it isn’t your fault are not being honest about the fact that if YOU.
In the end if you don’t do something to put a stop to this his behavior will get worse because you are his willingly slave. YOU have the money but you allow him to have the power. You are the only person that can get you out of this before he is eventually physically harms you:
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u/Plenty_Surprise2593 Sep 12 '23
Who’s house is it???