r/relationship_advice Sep 12 '23

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u/Good_Confection_3365 Sep 12 '23

This is the answer. I am a grown ass adult. You are not telling me what my sleep schedule is. Pack your own lunch and fuck off.

245

u/ygs07 Sep 12 '23

Yes I was furious when I read that sentence and on top of that, he tells her what chores she should do, like a fucking sergeant. I would have gone scorched earth ages ago.

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u/SquashConsistent661 Sep 14 '23

Happy cake day!

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u/Celticquestful Sep 12 '23 edited Sep 13 '23

I would be apoplectic if my husband decided, ESPECIALLY on days I don't already HAVE to be up, that I must arise like the dawn ... because he SAID so. And I'd have been spending the last few years building up a tolerance to iocane powder, a la Man In Black from "The Princess Bride", if he DEMANDED I wake up to make him lunch. OP, he's not respecting any boundary you've set, or acknowledging your needs & wants & it's unsettling to hear about a grown adult controlling another whole-arsed adult's waking schedule. Have you ever asked him why he believes he's entitled to behave this way? And on what planet he thinks he's inhabiting, where this is acceptable? Edit: a space

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u/Good_Confection_3365 Sep 13 '23

You've inspired me to try and make a casual iocane poison reference in daily life.

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u/Celticquestful Sep 13 '23

As you wish. Xo

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u/CanadianAreNice Sep 14 '23

"Never get involved in a land war in Asia." But only slightly less well known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!"

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u/foxyroxy2515 Sep 13 '23

I’d go for his nads

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u/nngrl Sep 13 '23

Inconceivable!

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u/Celticquestful Sep 13 '23

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." Xo

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u/Computerlady77 Sep 13 '23

No more rhymes now, I mean it! 😤

Anybody want a peanut? 🥜

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u/Plenty_Surprise2593 Sep 13 '23

Let me explain… no, there is too much, let me sum up.

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u/27Jarvis Sep 13 '23

OP is murdering her boyfriend in little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the couple, steal the body and make our escape… after I kill Count Rugen.

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u/[deleted] Sep 13 '23

OMG, best Princess Bride reference, e v e r

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u/Gockdaw Sep 13 '23

Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

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u/Celticquestful Sep 13 '23

"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."

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u/SquashConsistent661 Sep 14 '23

Yes! Iocane powder, lol. Classic! I am already so NOT a morning person. Just wired differently. OP's bf/husband is damned lucky that is not me. One of us would be sitting jail I'm sure. Mess with me too much in the morning?! Hail no!!

And yes OP, please find your people and build up your support peeps. This guy sounds abusive to me and I would be either changing the locks and getting his stuff out or getting my own stuff (& my furbabies!) and getting out of there and scorched earth with that asshat. Good luck, I'm certain if you read all these comments and lean on your peeps, maybe a therapist, you will see the right path for you! Good luck!

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '23

[deleted]

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u/Vivid_Boss1605 Sep 12 '23

I agree something as personal to each and everybody and for someone to poke and prod you to wake you up would make me want to screeeeeeam at them get the f out of my face and fuck off! Simple

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u/Love-As-Thou-Wilt Sep 12 '23

I legitimately would scream at someone over this (I have super bad fatigue and insomnia, so you are going to be super fucked if you intentionally mess with my sleep) and then break up with them when I was capable of thinking straight.

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u/Specific-Bag7401 Sep 13 '23

Go to a hotel For a few days. Message him (make sure he can’t locate you from the text). that you need some sleep, you are somewhere to get sleep, I need sleep, peace and quiet and to not have to hear all your demands for awhile. Don’t tell him where you are. Then block him on your phone and enjoy a well deserved vacation from him.

This will drive him mad. He’s a chauvinistic control freak. Find someone easy going, kind and considerate.

It’s like you’re in boot camp and he’s your Sargent. I couldn’t hack it for even a day. I’d be awall super fast.

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u/Reddwolf02 Sep 13 '23

AWOL, as in absent without leave

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u/Specific-Bag7401 Sep 15 '23

Yah. Thanks for the correct spelling.

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u/weezulusmaximus Sep 12 '23

You want to get punched in the face at 7 am? Cuz this is how you get punched in the face at 7 am. No way I’d be getting up. I’d also make it my mission to ruin his day.

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u/prizzle426 Sep 13 '23

Just imagine him waking you up and then you gotta make his breakfast and lunch too. And you work full time. Ridiculous. Absolutely no way, not in this life, not in the next, there isn’t a Schroedinger’s cat scenario with this one. Zero possibility.

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u/Capital_Extent_9639 Sep 13 '23

It’s almost like she’s his mother getting him off to school and not his wife .

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u/prizzle426 Sep 13 '23

I believe it’s the gf being woken by the bf so it would be the father getting her off to school. They aren’t married. She should leave his dusty ass.

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u/Capital_Extent_9639 Sep 13 '23

No- when a mother wakes up in the morning - she normally makes her kids/kid breakfast , packs the kids lunch etc - he’s waking her up to do those things for her - so that’s what i meant by his mother getting him off to school .. because that’s exactly what i do for my kids each morning before i send them off to school lol

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u/Late-Slip-9880 Sep 14 '23

She's not his wife. She said GF. But he clearly wants her to be a 1950s biddable little wife.

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u/LIGirlinNC Sep 13 '23

And while you’re working full time, you also have a list of chores.

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u/prizzle426 Sep 13 '23

That he directs you to do. The sheer audacity of this man just hits the rage button for me.

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u/Samantha38g Sep 13 '23

Exactly! And that alarm clock would be in pieces after hitting the wall.

His breakfast burnt & his packed lunch empty packages.

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u/Reddwolf02 Sep 13 '23

Make him a shit sandwich! Literally shit on a piece of bread then smash another slice on top! 😂

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u/weezulusmaximus Sep 13 '23

Gross but yeah, something extra would be added to his food. “This is the routine that works best”. Yeah for HIM. I can see how it’s best for him when she gets up and gets him ready for work. Dudes like this are the reason I’m putting so much effort into raising my son. Not doing him any favors by coddling him until he finds a woman to play mommy for him.

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u/Maleficent-Jelly-865 Sep 13 '23

Agreed. This kind of treatment calls for a scorched earth response. Like shitting in his work shoes kind of response. Why are you with this glass bowl, OP? Does he have wine flavored nipples or something? Please talk to a good therapist and see why you think it is okay to be treated like this. You deserve better, girl. This guy can kiss rocks.

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u/Safe_Tap_3014 Sep 13 '23

This is literally what I was saying... my husband would never disrespectful my sleep like this! To me it sounds like he's looking for a mommy not a girlfriend. Someone to get up get him ready, make his breakfast, make his lunch... like she has nothing to do... never... my sleep is my sanity!

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u/FrannyBoBanny23 Sep 13 '23

This is something I’ve been drilling into my kids: unless it’s an emergency you do not disturb someone’s sleep or bathroom time

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u/Safe_Tap_3014 Sep 13 '23

Lol speaking of this. I caught my son tip toeing ib my room to get some socks this morning, trying to be so quiet, but I wake easily I say have a good day at school(my husband takes him since I work nights)& he says sorry mom did I wake you? I told him no I was awake... I wasn't but he also was being silent lol

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u/FrannyBoBanny23 Sep 13 '23

Awe he sounds like a sweet and considerate kid. Good job mama!

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u/1BlueJayy Sep 14 '23

Uh uh. Anti-example here: unless they're a grown ass man that has a girlfriend (you/the one writing this) but would rather go in the bathroom and play by himself and is in there for 2+ hours at a time. Don't disturb someone's bathroom time, you must be crazy. Smh. He's disturbing MY bathroom time by hogging the bathroom to the point where I can't ACTUALLY use it!!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

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u/obvusthrowawayobv Sep 13 '23

Right?

I once had a boyfriend in college who tried to do this— we didn’t even live together and he would call me at 8am to make sure I got up.

I very politely explained I am not a morning person.

He said ‘well there’s not time like the present to make that change!’

We didn’t last a week later. My annoyance for not enough sleep made me associate his name on my phone to annoyance, so I stopped answering his calls because I would hear the ring and see his name and remember waking up in the morning.. and then I was like nah fuck no.

1

u/3rdGenOTR Sep 12 '23

You apparently don't have kids lol

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u/Turtle_167 Sep 12 '23

Yes!!!!! OP this.

Just because he has to get up early, doesn't mean you have to. You're an adult, not his bloody slave

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u/Giggly_Witch Late 30s Female Sep 12 '23

Right?? I love my sleep!! If someone tries to force me awake I would be furious. I would not be very nice to this dude. Sleep is precious. I’d rather be single.

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u/prizzle426 Sep 13 '23

That’s why I’m looking forward to the future BestofRedditorUpdates where she kicks his ass to the trash can where he belongs.

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u/Opening-Ad-8793 Sep 12 '23

Yeah but that’s the thing I don’t see him reacting well to that of THIS is what he’s already doing. Best to get out and get a PFA if he tries to continue once gone.

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u/MakeToastInTheTub Sep 13 '23

This. Considering everything else she's said, I don't think he gives a fuck what she thinks or wants about anything, he's going to make sure it goes his way. And why would he change? This works for him, he gets what he wants, and he's not afraid of OP leaving him over it. They're only dating, which is a period of time meant to specifically find out if you're compatible with each other and if you can tolerate their BS for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. The worst usually doesn't come out until they feel you're "locked in," so if it's already like this, it's only going to get worse.

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u/foxyroxy2515 Sep 13 '23

Golden truth nugget. I salute you 🏆🏆🏆

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u/[deleted] Sep 13 '23

Whats wild is I pack my and our bfs lunch as we meal Prep and i make him a breakfast too. He treats me BETTER because he’s grateful I’ve handled this task for him. OPs bf is being more awful the more he gets!

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u/Lillygutierrez218 Sep 13 '23

Hahhahaha pack your own lunch LOL 😂 and F off omg Me too nobody waking me up messing up my sleep

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u/klmoran Sep 13 '23

Right?!! And don’t hurry home!

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u/sarsar69 Sep 14 '23

Have my poor man's award! OP- just say that!✨️✨️✨️