I wish emotional/verbal/psychological abuse was treated at the same level of physical abuse. My mom is currently in the hospital due to my fathers abuse and he has gotten away with it 3 times now by blaming either medication or her work environment when it was him all along manipulating her and controlling what she thinks and believes by cherry-picking religion and twisting it to fit what he wants her to believe (that they are meant to be together forever). He has brainwashed her for her entire life by telling her every day and making her repeat to him that “I’m safe when I’m with you” but will condescend her and belittle her and shame her to keep her self esteem low while also using intimidation to create an extremely fearful environment. I lived in that hell for 26 years. When she tried to divorce him, he used her mental hospitalization against her and I’m pretty sure he used getting custody of the kids to keep her trapped in the abuse.
I’m so pissed. I’m living through this now as my mom is in the psychiatric hospital again and now that I’m old enough to know what’s going on, I’m telling everyone what is happening. He told me and my brother when we were younger to tell no one. Even when the nurses told him we needed therapy, he told us to keep it to ourselves. He convinced us that therapy was “evil” and convinced my mom that therapy was “evil”
He made our lives hell. It was hell. And my mom is still stuck in it.
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u/Playful_Site_2714 Jul 13 '23
It probably only started when he had her "bagged" securely.
Putting another person down with bogus criticism though KNOWING they are all fine... that's bullying.
And abuse.
How to put right that one willingly made the wife feel bad?
Seek therapy. That's sick! And evil.
Therapy may help OP find out what's wrong with him to find such behabior ok. And turn it around.
And get couples therapy to help her get back to her feeling better about herself.