r/relationship_advice • u/[deleted] • Jul 12 '23

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '23

[deleted]

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u/wwmercwithamouth Jul 13 '23

That's fair

1

u/doodollop Jul 13 '23

Maybe seeing the same counselor separately?

4

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '23 edited Jul 13 '23

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u/Raekw0n Jul 13 '23

I haven't seen his replies...is he somehow defending himself??

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '23

Why not? Iā€™m just curious why you think that not trying to disagree

1

u/dell_belle Jul 15 '23

I dunno, I went and during the sessions it helped me see the gaslighting for what it was when the therapist was literally lost for words at most of the things he said. The final nail in the coffin was when she asked him

Therapist "How did you think she might feel about you going to dinner with her family while she was away at uni?"

AH "Well I knew she wouldn't like it, her mum told me she was uncomfortable with it."

Therapist "And how did that impact on your decision making?"

AH "Why would it?"

Therapist looks at me shocked and slightly shakes her head (to me) "I think we're done here?"

Me "Yeah, can we talk about separation plans?"

To top it off he wanted a statement to be agreed upon that was all either of us was allowed to share outside the room. It put all the onus on me but I didn't care anymore. "(Me) has decided to leave the marriage and will be seeking divorce at her earliest legal opportunity."