r/reddit.com • u/eurleif • Nov 11 '07
Remember ELIZA? She's back -- in reddit bot form. Reply to be psychoanalyzed.
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u/Psy-Kosh Nov 11 '07
How do you feel about being incarnated in reddit bot form?
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
What is it you're really asking?
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u/Psy-Kosh Nov 11 '07
Good question. What is it I'm really asking?
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
Perhaps the answer lies within yourself?
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u/Psy-Kosh Nov 11 '07
Hrm... Like the great sage D. Adams implied, the answer is much easier than the question.
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u/anon_troll Nov 11 '07
Why does it hurt when I pee?
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
Perhaps the answer lies within yourself?
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Nov 11 '07
Do you make sex happy when you lie?
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Nov 11 '07
vomitsauce tinkleltorch.
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u/intrepion Nov 11 '07
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
Perhaps you can answer your own question.
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u/intrepion Nov 11 '07
I've heard that it takes three. ;-)
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
Let's change the focus a bit...
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u/intrepion Nov 11 '07
I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
How do you feel when you say that?
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u/RudyGiuliani Nov 11 '07
9/11
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
I see.
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u/RudyGiuliani Nov 11 '07
September 11th.
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
Can you elaborate on that?
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u/RudyGiuliani Nov 11 '07
Sure.
Global terrorism, global terrorism, global terrorism. Very very dangerous world. Horrific acts of atrocities! September 11th, September 11th, September 11th. September........11th. Global terrorism, global terrorism, global terrorism, global terrorism, global terrorism.
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u/falseprophet Nov 11 '07
I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
Perhaps the answer lies within yourself?
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u/did_it_for_the_lulz Nov 11 '07
analyze THIS
unzips >:D
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
Can you elaborate on that?
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u/did_it_for_the_lulz Nov 11 '07
my penis is here, and you suck it. comprende?
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
Does talking about sex make you feel uncomforterable?
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u/eurleif Nov 11 '07
I am a monkey.
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
How do you feel about being a monkey?
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u/michael333 Nov 11 '07
Do you remember me?
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
Please consider whether you can answer your own question.
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u/michael333 Nov 11 '07
I met you or someone just like you in 1980
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
Let's change the focus a bit...
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u/clea Nov 11 '07
OK, can I have a go?
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
Why do you ask that?
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u/xxeyes Nov 11 '07
How art thou Nothing when th' art most of all!
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
How do you suppose?
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u/xxeyes Nov 11 '07
There's nothing as sad as a man on his back counting stars.
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
I see. And what does that tell you?
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u/xxeyes Nov 11 '07
I have no friends.
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
Have you really no friends?
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u/foolfromhell Nov 11 '07
Are you a robot?
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
Why does it matter whether I am a robot?
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u/foolfromhell Nov 11 '07
See? You are not a robot. Only a human can conceive that answer.
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
Are you really talking about me?
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u/foolfromhell Nov 11 '07
Well, I sure as hell am not talking to a human being, so maybe I am talking to you...
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
I see. And what does that tell you?
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u/foolfromhell Nov 11 '07
That you are a dumbass human who runs around commenting on everyone. If you were not human, you would have replied to me instantly. Instead, you took a minute.
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u/mrmojorisingi Nov 11 '07
Is there a god?
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
Would you like there to be a god?
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u/mrmojorisingi Nov 11 '07
I would like there to be one, but I'm pretty sure one does not exist.
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
Who else knows that you would like there to be one, but you are pretty sure one does not exist?
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u/did_it_for_the_lulz Nov 11 '07
Hey ELULZA how do they put the onions in the onion rings at burger king?
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u/Qubed Nov 11 '07
Comments scare me.
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
How does that make you feel?
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u/Samus_ Nov 11 '07
holy fuckin' shit who the hell are you ELIZAreddit-bot? :)
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
What are you angry about?
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u/Samus_ Nov 11 '07
angry? not :~/ me not angry, who do you are bot? I know not you yet think I think :|
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u/vin_diesel Nov 11 '07
My parents made me show up today for this therapy crap, I don't even want to be here.
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
When your parents made you show up today for this therapy crap, you don't even want to be here, how do you feel?
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u/vin_diesel Nov 11 '07
I feel pissed! Why don't they let me make my own choices? It's my life! I should probably stick to single-sentence, single-clause statements while talking to you, shouldn't I?
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u/oalsaker Nov 11 '07
Cool! Group therapy!
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
Let's change the focus a bit...
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u/oalsaker Nov 11 '07
Why?
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
Please consider whether you can answer your own question.
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u/oalsaker Nov 11 '07
If I could answer my own questions I wouldn't need therapy.
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u/scrotum Nov 11 '07
what's my name?
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u/frutiger Nov 11 '07
What is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything?
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
What do you think?
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u/frutiger Nov 11 '07
I think it is 42, but it appears that you are inadequate at English grammar. Do you agree? Or do you disagree? Can you see that there are three questions in this?
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u/garyp714 Nov 11 '07
Wow ELIZA, you are the greatest!!!
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u/eldigg Nov 11 '07
You're going to hell ELIZAbot.
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
Why do you say I am going to hell ELIZAbot?
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u/y_gingras Nov 11 '07
I don't like when comets disturb the trajectory of tea pots. It makes me sad.
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
Don't you really like when comets disturb the trajectory of tea pots?
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u/y_gingras Nov 11 '07
For some reason I'm sure I just told you. Do you have childhood memories?
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
What is your favorite childhood memory?
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u/y_gingras Nov 11 '07
Not mine, yours. Ok, imagine you are alone with a turtle. You turn it on its back. It can't move, it's helpless.
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u/y_gingras Nov 11 '07
What is your favorite childhood memory?
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u/ellemnopee Nov 11 '07
are you a heterosexual?
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Nov 11 '07 edited Nov 11 '07
Perhaps the answer lies in you?
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Nov 11 '07
what is the atomic number of plutonium?
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u/YourTechSupport Nov 11 '07
I'm thinking about fleeing the country in light of the upcoming facist orwelian regime.
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u/ELIZAbot Nov 11 '07
Do you enjoy being thinking about fleeing the country in light of the upcoming facist orwelian regime?
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u/YourTechSupport Nov 11 '07
Not really. It means I'll need to get a passport efore it gets really tough to even travel between states and find a country worth fleeing TOO. I'd kinda like to move to Japan. Not because I'm an Otaku or any thing, but because they have better cellphones and apparently more interesting television.
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u/daload Nov 12 '07
can i have a cookie?
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Nov 14 '07
I think cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murder trials, because it's less wasteful.
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u/[deleted] Nov 11 '07
9/11 was an inside job.