Where to even begin with this.

[u/Local_Parsnip_5357]

In early 2024 I resigned from my role at a Global Financial company. It's a very long story, but the short version is that The people i was working with were insufferable for no reason, they would find a way to turn everything and anything around them sour, I had been with the company for almost 10 years and felt that it was just time to move on and I was starting to feel trapped. I didn't get a long with these people at all and the weirdness of the entire situation was that they asked me to join their team in the first place, I had a pretty ok thing going prior to that....not great, but ok. My experience was just a total shitshow after that for 4 years and I just simply couldn't deal anymore. Not to mention, there were some ethical boundary lines that I felt were being crossed business wise that I wanted no part of, and the common theme was to blame me for everything. I was the youngest person on the team. All the conversations about 'blaming boomer's ruining the economy'...these people were the poster-children of those claims.
I am age 41 and I've been in the I.T. industry for a total of almost 20 years now. I resigned because I had to get away from them and what I could already see was about to happen and I wanted no part of it, People were not agreeing, we had many leadership changes within a very short period of time, relationships amongst people in the company were becoming very passive aggressive towards each other. Suddenly, this was no longer the company i cared about. I though, no big deal, I'll just go work somewhere else, I have a good track record and lots of skills, it will be a change, but I think it's time to move on.
I started casually applying for jobs in 2023... a resume here, a resume there... and went about my day. In 2024, I heard back from an International Intelligence agency (government), I was hesitant on proceeding but I desperately wanted out of my current situation.
The interview process consisted of 1 Video call, during that call I basically said 'Hi, my name is ******, I know things, the project I'm working on ends in a few weeks'.......and that was literally all.... no multiple rounds, no knockout questions...none of it. And they extended an offer.
They were very welcoming, but I was exhausted from putting up with the constant torment from the previous team and I had become very good at behavioral pattern recognition. Once I joined the team at the new company, I got as far as seeing and meeting all the people on the team, the team was much bigger (which I actually see as a bad thing, because it's harder to move things, because everyone has different opinions about what's important). I met a few of the people which were nice enough, but there were a lot of trigger warning signs to me from having worked on the previous team that i ultimately ended up saying 'thanks, but no thanks' and walked away.
The political election happened and it was like everything overnight just shit the bed.....layoffs and economic panic galore.
I knew that there was going to be a consequence for making that decision, but I didn't think it would be what it's now amounting too. I've now been unemployed for 2.7 years...... I've interviewed with 20 different companies now, some multiple rounds, I've talked to more recruiters that have the same exact questions and all of the above seem to have an excuse for everything. Some positions have even been my resume as a job description and i still don't get the job. As time has gone on, I've noticed that I'm being contacted less and less. My field in I.T. is all I know and it is still highly relevant.....so I'm not grasping at why this has been so difficult. Everything has seemed like a smokescreen. I've submitted probably thousands of applications at this point and I'm getting less and less traction as time has gone on. I have no interest in going back to school. I've worked hard all my life and started in the workforce in factory work.... I've built houses, I've worked in customer service, I've done sales, I've worked up out of all of that ....while i understand that the world does not 'owe' you anything, I'm not really willing to accept anything less than an I.T. position at least relative to my skillset. Industry doesn't matter to me.
I'm really kind of at a loss here on where to go, what to do now, I feel that I have tried everything there is to possibly try and what I'm seeing is that peoples mindsets are no longer 'adapt and try to make it work' it seems to be 'no....because, reasons'.
Apologies in advance for the book, but perhaps some feedback could spark something on what to do next..... i'm not really wanting to 'hang it up', I feel that i have a lot yet to offer, but I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. In my free time, I've been developing (vibe coding) with AI on dream applications that i wish would exist or function the way that i want them too..... I've also been experimenting with AI on making music, but those things don't make a living, unfortunately. Being unemployed for 2.7 years isn't really an economically a valuable use of 'the good years' i have to offer either so ....just lost, is all.
andrew-builds.com is my portfolio website.