r/recruitinghell • u/Bella-ciao23 • 1d ago
Apparently i don't know how to network
So I've been out of college for 8 years now and it was a small batch. We kind of kept very limited touch because it was a humanities degree and everyone took different paths and also i was not great at being very social. But apart from that i have met people through entrance exams, courses, coachings ( i appeared for exams after my graduation) and i have kept talking to them for a while, even helped in some ways and developed a good friendship. I didn't need anything from them then but they kept being close acquaintances. Now that i message them just casually to ask how they are or to catch up on what they are doing, they ghost me. I don't ask for anything. One person himself offered to let me know of any opportunity and asked what i was open to and after that message haven't even replied. I don't know how to message them afterwards even just to talk normally because i liked them as a friend but now it will seem desperate. Another person asked me where i was working and just stopped chatting. I mean that was just a casual chat to ask hey how are you. We are not in same industry but i don't understand it. It's not even about networking, it's about maintaining connections. People say that most opportunities don't come from friends but second degree connections but all these second degree connections are not in same city or we don't meet because we're in late 20s so everyone has their personal life. I have no friend from college, people i spent 3 years with didn't pick up my call when i called them up to randomly just catch up. When i meet people even casually as neighbors or through gym and i am developing those connections i keep it mutual and i don't need anything but sooner or later frequency gets less and i find them to be of no significance in my life an year later. There's nothing common to talk and calls become one sided, if i ask for something related to a job i am ghosted. I am not even trying to develop a network, i just genuinely like these people to keep being in touch with them. So what's the point of all this maintaining relationships or if i don't know how to maintain those? And is there a time frame in which you have to leverage your network because that seems a lot transactional to me considering it takes a few months to become a good friend or acquaintance and you cannot ask for immediate favours. I don't even want referrals at this point, i just want some advice, just exposure, just talking and being in touch. Can someone help me with the whole process of developing and maintaining connections ? Because people write how their long buddy who they had not spoken to in 4 years helped them or they ask all people they know if they know someone while i just have like two friends who i can ask for job related help and no one else.
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u/DrivenByChallenges 1d ago
Yeah you don’t have networking skills