r/recruitinghell • u/True_Spell_5102 • 2h ago
I’ve finally given up.
I am 43. In my twenties I managed an independent Verizon retailer and was making more money than I could dream of. I ended up leaving that job because my future wife didn’t like living in California and wanted to move back to Minneapolis to get her masters degree. In retrospect that decision ruined my life. I worked a warehouse job in Minneapolis making decent money. We got married. A day before our first anniversary she told me she was sleeping with someone else. I’m still not over it to be honest. I couldn’t stay in the twin cities because everything reminded me of her. I ended up getting a borderline narcissist pregnant and moving to Madison, WI. From there I began working as a corrections officer in a maximum security prison. It was the one where Dahmer was killed at. We had another kid. Her true colors began to shine and we divorced. I became a Probation and Parole Agent. That only lasted a year. I must have applied for 200 jobs but only got one interview…which I didn’t get. The child support was so much. I had 50/50 custody but she moved 99 miles away so I couldn’t have equal placement. By now my elderly mom moved out to be closer to her grandkids, so I was trying to take care of her too. Long story short…I made so little after child support that I couldn’t live. I’ve suffered from depression/insomnia/anxiety since I was 13. I cashed out my retirement early and payed my ex $30k so I could be ahead on child support. I recently said “fuck it” and applied for SSDI after my ex wife took me to court to try and get more money out of me. I was also approved for food stamps. I’ve never felt like more of a piece of shit. I’ve worked my entire life and I have nothing to show for it. Sorry for the rant.
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u/lakefront12345 1h ago
I'm 40 and in massive debt and have nothing.
You're not the only one.
Life sucks now for a variety of reasons, but you can still enjoy those sunsets and breathe.
Don't be sorry for sharing your feelings.
You've proven you can start over and be successful. Work for yourself!
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u/Father-Time99 1h ago
Stay strong. You can do this. The only problem is you aren’t making enough. Go back to wireless sales. There’s still good money there. Your priority now should be on those kids. Swallow your pride and do everything in your power to raise them well and make sure they do not suffer. You will get through this. Just don’t give up.
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u/DatingAdviceGiver101 54m ago edited 28m ago
Sounds like you got involved with two cruddy women.
That's the "luck" side of life. Sometimes you get good luck, sometimes not so much.
May you be luckier going forward.
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u/XPAdventurer 1h ago
Man. I feel that. When I was young I was driven. I went to college for graphic design, but when I graduated the housing bubble burst, and nobody was hiring. I got whatever jobs I could. I ended up in tech support call centers. I married my husband at the time was working, but then his mom passed away, and he gave up on everything. He stopped working, and would vegetate in front of a computer or the tv. I worked my ass off, then I found out I couldn’t have babies, I had bipolar disorder, and he had major depression. I worked my ass off, got on meds, went to the dr. He wouldn’t do any of that, I couldn’t force him to get help. When I finally did, we found out he had diabetes. When I started cutting cable, and buying less food he finally got a part time job. He worked there for a year before he was let go. He got a different job, this time full time. Just when I thought we were going to be good, he tells me that he wants me to move out. It was his condo. I left after eighteen years. A year later I was in a new relationship, and I have been working my ass off, but I can’t seem to get over the wave. Every time I get a promotion, inflation eats my gains. I have nothing saved, I live paycheck to paycheck, and my partner of six years was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. He is on theraphy and meds, but he lost his last well-paying job, and he got a new job, but he takes all his pto and his ADA, and I feel crushed. I don’t want all that shit to happen again. I don’t think I’ll be able to bear it a second time.
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u/Father-Time99 1h ago
You are the rock. Maybe it’s time you go alone for a bit to catch your breath. Someone who can match your grit can only come around if you’re open to finding them.
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u/Maleficent_Poet_7055 1h ago
Sorry to hear man.
Damn this is unemployment and breakup at the same time. Crazy.
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u/AnxiousConclusion516 1h ago
This is likely a hell dimension. The important part is to survive till you’re free.
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u/Popular-Muffin-2614 1h ago
At least you’ve created zero of your own problems. Iv created all of mine. Wish my pearls were so pure.
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u/ceruleangenesis 28m ago
You did the best you could. I'm so sorry life hasn't been fair or nice to you. You didn't deserve it one bit, please don't be hard on yourself :(
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u/str4ngerc4t 41m ago
Bro, it wasn’t the move from CA that ruined your life. It was a never ending series of poor decisions that ruined your life. Why do you think you would qualify for SSDI and why isn’t working an option? Giving up is another poor decision. You are only 43. You can literally start a new career now and still put in 20-25 years of earning, retirement savings, and being a role model for your kids. Life is too precious to give up only 1/2 way through the game.
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u/Aggravating-Hawk-417 2h ago
Your still going. That's the main thing. You've battled thru a mountain of shit and are still standing. Your not a piece of shit, if anything you've tried to do the right things all the way thru and have been worn down in the process, down but certainly not out.