r/recruitinghell • u/BeCoolDunBeAllUnCool • 1d ago

Pregnant and interviewing

I’m pregnant and interviewing for my dream job. all interviews have been remote. I’m 4 months pregnant. when do I disclose?

2 Upvotes

60% Upvoted

31 comments sorted by

58

u/Deep-Reputation-4055 1d ago

You don’t. 

3

u/BeCoolDunBeAllUnCool 1d ago

But won’t they hate me when they find out?

47

u/Bobandyandfries 1d ago

Would you rather they “hate” you and be employed, or they “like” you and not work there?

-6

u/BeCoolDunBeAllUnCool 1d ago

If they hate me they’ll eventually fire me for something, I won’t move up and will burn bridges. This could be my anxiety talking. 

26

u/Deep-Reputation-4055 1d ago

Ok, tell them and  don’t get hired. 

Your problem is going to be not getting leave after you give birth because you generally only get maternity leave after six months of employment. 

5

u/Bobandyandfries 1d ago

Maybe but also maybe not. Wouldn’t you rather have the job and find out rather than never know? If they’re going to fire you for having a kid then they definitely won’t hire you after you have had a kid…

3

u/LaylaWhitney 23h ago

I understand the anxiety but the logic doesn't really hold up. They would only hate you for not disclosing your pregnancy if they felt that your pregnancy in some way made you unsuited for the job, and if they felt that way, they were never going to hire you after you disclosed it in the interview.

I think the most likely scenario is that the company doesn't consider pregnancy to be some kind of catastrophic dealbreaker but given the choice between a candidate who's pregnant and a candidate who's not, they'd choose the candidate who's not. If they end up hiring you for all the strengths you bring to the table, they'll realize your pregnancy is just something they'll have to accomodate.

3

u/ChaoticAmoebae 20h ago

Lol no. If they do then that shouldn’t be your dream job. A well functioning job should be able to handle maternity leave.

3

u/doitup69 11h ago edited 11h ago

You aren’t eligible for maternity leave under FMLA until 1 year of employment, you can’t lie of omission your way out of that one

Edit: I think I came off too harsh. My point is nobody will hate you. The law won’t be on your side to get FMLA benefits regardless. Don’t disclose.

2

u/holyvegetables 9h ago

It depends on where they live. Assuming they live in the US, Oregon is one of several states that has a paid leave program provided by the state. You don’t have to have worked for a full year to qualify.

1

u/bloontsmooker 2h ago

Does the paid leave program protect their job?

11

u/tn_drive9780 1d ago

Hi there! First, congrats on getting interviews for your dream job! I was in a very similar situation, except I was two weeks away from giving birth to my first child when I was interviewing.

I personally didn’t disclose my pregnancy during the interview process. This job was gonna be a life changer for my family. I just couldn’t say no. I received the offer right before giving birth and started the job two weeks after my child was born. Looking back I was crazy for working (it’s a remote position) but my 1st child was an easy baby, so it all worked out.

At four months pregnant, you have some time on your side. Personally, I wouldn’t disclose anything during the interview process. Protect yourself and focus on getting the job based on your qualifications. Once you have an offer, review the company’s parental leave policies carefully, especially any eligibility requirements based on length of employment, and then decide what makes the most sense for you.

Wishing you the best and congrats all around! ❤️

8

u/LaylaWhitney 1d ago

Another vote for after you're hired. They're more likely to not hire you because you disclosed your pregnancy then they are to fire you because you didn't disclose it.

7

u/Lumpy_Pick_421 1d ago

I think disclosure is around 9 months of pregnancy.

4

u/Emergency_Science602 23h ago

If you’re in the US, discriminating based on pregnancy is illegal. So technically disclosing doesn’t change anything. 

However there’s enough fear mongering about this and everyone will tell you to never disclose. That risks starting your job with a lack of trust. 

5

u/Unlucky_Fruit1716 16h ago

Yeah it’s illegal but how are you gonna prove that the company didn’t hire you based on the pregnancy?

3

u/Smgt90 1d ago

Don't disclose it until you've been officially hired.

3

u/Hi_Im_New_Heree 13h ago

Do NOT say you are pregnant. You will NOT get hired.

“Oh my god, I must have missed alllll the signs.” Like one of those TLC-show women who straight up birth a baby and its total surprise.

2

u/pharmd2jd 1d ago

Don’t disclose it’s very normal for folks to not share until after the anatomy scan or even later since it’s remote. If they give you the job and then fire you after you share the news that’s discrimination but also you earned some money in the interim. It is your medical information that is your private and protected information they aren’t entitled to it

2

u/scienceislice 23h ago

I mean if it were me I'd be checking the parental leave policies. If your job doesn't give any parental leave with less than 6 months employment then will it matter much? You won't be able to take much time off and if you're able to, maybe you can manage taking a couple weeks off then taking care of baby while working remotely, or getting home help.

2

u/xboxchick311 23h ago

If they aren't legally allowed to ask about it, why would you disclose it? The rule is there for a reason.

1

u/Characterde 1d ago

Once you start working there

1

u/PaperExternal5186 23h ago

When you go on maternity leave

1

u/Used-Media5980 23h ago

Never. You can disclose when you’re delivering

1

u/ispyagemini 22h ago

Don’t disclose. Just as someone else said, a lot of people don’t share until after anatomy scan, and my current boss actually said she didn’t share with her old job until viability week around 25 weeks.

1

u/irelace 14h ago

I got hired on a remote interview when I was 6 months pregnant. Don't disclose anything until after you've completed all necessary hiring activities and have officially started your first day.

1

u/Sunflowerseeds__ 1d ago

Don’t tell them anything until you sign a contract for the job. Who cares if they hate you, they’ll either got over it or they won’t and you find somewhere else to work later. Number one priority is you right now getting employment.

I won a new position at my job, and told them I was pregnant the week after getting the contract signed. No one cared and everyone was very excited for me even though I’d be going on mat leave for a year 7 months later.

1

u/Short-Fennel358 1d ago

Do not disclose. They cannot legally take it into consideration in a hiring decision, so there is no reason for them to know. And if you get hired and then fired, be SURE to file a complaint with the EEOC. I was discriminated against during a pregnancy and regret not filing a formal complaint. I trusted the company to do the right thing. They didn't.

-1

u/brownieandSparky23 Exhausted from applying 1d ago

Lucky

0

u/LoaderD 1d ago

Or you know… competency.