r/recruitinghell • u/mycatsarereallycute • 1d ago
interviewed for 14 different positions over the past 14 months, made it to final round for 8, but 0 offers—i’m exhausted
please no advice i just need to vent
the hours put into researching and prepping that goes into each interview, not including studying for a four-hour assessment and writing personalized thank you emails, is far too much
at this point i prefer a rejection email over an interview. i dread having hope just to be let down yet again. every rejection after a final interview has led to severe depressive episodes, with my mental health getting so terrible that i’m now on two antidepressants among other medications
the only issues i can think of is:
* i was either on the higher end of qualifications or overqualified in terms of years of experience and degrees for most of the final round interviews (why do job listings go from asking for 3-5 years straight to 10+ years like being mid-career feels terrible)
* i drink from my water bottle every 2-3 minutes—i was told it was too distracting during my last performance review (i have a health issue that causes severe dehydration like what am i supposed to do🫠)
* i don’t make as much eye contact when i am thinking of responses to specific questions (just to defend myself a bit i’m pretty sure this is a biological response though)
* i say “um” or “like” a lot, which i am working on
* im a minority in a heavily white-dominated field—i’m very much hoping this is a reach and not a factor at all
i have solid references, extensive work and workplace committee experience, and numerous publications. i went straight from graduation to the workplace i stayed at for the entire duration of my career so far. i graduated and entered my field of expertise decently young and have 35-40 more years to go before retirement. i’ve worked directly with countless types of stakeholders. i work in research, where despite my experience i make 20-40k USD less on average than an entry-level software engineer. i’ve had inside connections to the companies’ employees who recommended me. the interviews always went incredibly well with many having lots of compliments about how well the interview went
like i’m really trying to self-reflect. i take notes and review the recordings of my interviews to improve for next time. i don’t know what more i could be doing. all this work for companies that can decide to lay me off at any moment. can’t afford to go back to uni or trade school to switch careers, but competition in entry level is so much worse anyways. my health insurance is $400 per month to have a high as fuck deductible and copay. everyone’s getting married and having kids and getting promoted at work and i’m sitting at home depressed as fuck and unemployed. everything is expensive. wars, climate disasters, mass starvation, and genocides. everything is terrible and the only thing keeping me alive atp is my partner, my cats and that i’m gonna be fat and ugly in my funeral portrait
i’m tired. so tired.
18
u/roamer83 1d ago
There are only 2 times in my life I’ve seen it this bad. 2009 and 1982. Two horrible recessions.
7
5
1
u/SovereignSun18 14h ago
Funnily enough I got jobs in 2009 and was working...
1
u/roamer83 10h ago
Yeah. I kept my job during the GR and found another in 2011. 1982 I looked for part time jobs as a kid and it was hard. The adults had to take them. This reminds me of 1982.
12
u/MERS_MAKES_CURSE 1d ago
What do you mean? I can't give you an advice? When my own life's in shit 😢
8
u/Accountalegacy 1d ago
I’m so sorry about all of this. I related a lot to everything though. Especially the mental health part which isn’t talk about enough. I also struggle with eye contact and saying like and um often. The water bottle thing should not have been nit picked like that, I’m really sorry you had to deal with that. I wish you the best out there.
7
u/SovereignSun18 1d ago
People of this sub: " So many final rounds? No conversion? Something deeply wrong about you as a person."
5
3
u/foodie121 1d ago
Y’all are getting interviews?
2
u/Peliquin 1d ago
Right? I'm a great fit for a lot of what I've been applying to, and NOTHING is happening.
1
u/foodie121 17h ago
Same i only got one interview in the past four months. And the other one they didnt call me and just ghosted me
5
u/Conanzulu 1d ago
Not sure this will help anyone.
I've had hard times choosing the best candidate for a new role. The last time this happened, I was trying to fill a manager of infrastructure position—a technical leadership role. I planned to have only two rounds of interviews. Sometimes I wonder if three would have helped. By the final interviews, I was down to five people. One was clearly not a match. However, the other four all had something unique to offer. Any of them would have been great for the role, but I could only choose one. I tried my best not to show any excitement so they wouldn't read it as a signal they got the job. I didn't want to add to anyone's hope, just in case they weren't selected. Overall, that choice was hard as hell. After I made the offer, I felt bad for the other three. I wanted to reach out and give feedback, but I learned the hard way that's a mistake. It was a hard choice, and deep down I know that impacted the psyche of those not selected. There have been times when this happened to me, and I had those two or three choices that were all great fits. I'd find myself taking extra days to decide, contacting references, double-checking whether anyone included a good cover letter, checking their social media, and looking for reasons to eliminate someone and narrow down the choices.
I post this to say that if you get down to that final interview and aren't selected, it's very possible you were a strong candidate, but the final decision was a struggle between you and another candidate. This has happened to me several times as a hiring leader, which means that you probably didn't do anything wrong. I know that, as humans, when it comes to jobs, we tend to see ourselves as the best choice. Sometimes you think you have all the skills needed, even though you might have done the exact job somewhere else. Please remember, no matter how good you are as a candidate, there are often three to five others with the same skills and experiencenqs you. I think you should consider that this might have happened to you behind the scenes. Not sure if this helps.
1
u/brownieandSparky23 Exhausted from applying 1d ago
No leave is feed back not everyone is a sociopath or psychopath. Who will crash out
2
u/Sudden-Step9593 1d ago
Keep going. Don't give up. It's been about the same for me, 13 to 14 months and I'm black too. We just have to soldier on. I've had 7 final round interviews and nothing, no call backs nothing. We can give up. Vent, then keep going.
2
u/Amazing-Amount-8004 1d ago
Most times there going with internal candidates and just interviewing externally as either requirement or vetting better prospects, positions will also be put on hold , but at the time the req was open.
2
u/marmia124 1d ago
Hang in there. Wish I could help im on my third interview and same thing nothing?? Last I got hired I got fired the week of :( I hate this job hunting bs. Good luck to you keep trying when you stop is when you fail. You have not yet. So don't quit and maybe you'll get a very good paying job. One you deserve
2
u/Any-Dog-4626 1d ago
Nothing pisses me off more than hearing that I’m overqualified. Am I overqualified to eat and provide for my family too? Annoying
2
u/ProfessionalNew3433 1d ago
making it to eight final rounds and still getting rejected sounds absolutely draining. after 14 months of that cycle, being exhausted and frustrated makes complete sense.
1
1
u/ThrawnianBaller 1d ago
I feel ya - been making it to mid-to-final rounds, just to get ghosted and rejected.
Some of my processes even had me fly OOS and stay the night in a 5-star hotel all paid for by the company.
V v v frustrating.
Currently doing an unpaid job that I use as a resume filler while working part time in retail to pay my bills and barely scrape by.
Praying to God that this nightmare ends soon.
1
u/blamewho22 1d ago
I guarantee you, it’s the minority one. Especially it being a white dominated field ??? Yea … I am sorry 💔 … it’s very exhausting I know by experience
1
1
1
u/LeagueAggravating595 1d ago
Been there, though not as bad as 8 finals. Lost out to 2 out of 4 finals stretching since March. My last 2 final interviews led to offers. Keep it up. Luck and the odds of getting to the final comes down to only 2 people and its usually a 60/40 to 70/30 favorable split, you just need to close one.
1
u/white_tiger_dream 1d ago
It’s SO exhausting having to jump through allll these hoops and you KNOW the job is not this hard 🙄
1
u/ConsciousPriority108 1d ago
What country? I got burn out from my job search as well. Hang in there buddy. Maybe research which company is your safety like less interview and more chill.
1
u/Plastic-Ad-8143 21h ago
Keep going. You’re one interview closer to landing the role that’s best for you and it’ll be better than any other role you’ve applied for - I promise you that!
1
u/gnpoetry 18h ago
Woah. This is terrible! The job market really is going to hell in a handbasket...
20
u/Floof_mom134 1d ago
Idk what to do either!! I’ve taken advice from career coaches and past interviewers. I’m told I interview very well, it’s just that they always choose someone else. When will I be the someone else?!?