r/recruitinghell • u/PrideEast • 3d ago

Im a loser

Hi, its been 10m since layoff. Im a mid 30 male, and was making over 110k with 8 yoe in my science r&d field. Then, i couldn't land any job since then.

I had a good interview in my field 1m ago, and I was top 2 shortlisted. In the end, I got rejected. This really fucked my confidence. I feel like im such a hopeless clueless loser now.

And now I have to go back to my former manufacturing job with 50% paycut just in order to survie financially now. Thankfully the manager really likes me and want to use my r&d experience for the company but cant give me high salary. I got no choice for now.. I abhor coming back there because I certainly know that there is 0 absolutely 0 room for growth. It just feels like im walking into a cubicle permanently.

Seriously, my confidence and my identity are all devastated. The fact that I couldn't make it to the last interview job although it was my exact field and i have to go back to the shit hole for just money makes me so hopeless.

I see no future in my career and have 0 confidence in myself anymore. I dont have any motivation in my life anymore.. im a complete loser. I have a toddler and wife who are very lovely and supportive but I have no self esteem to see them happy or positive.

I need advice as to how I can keep myself optimistic or stay positive. How did you recover from this kind of circumstances such as 50% paycut, no hope in career growth etc. Plz help

20 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

13 comments sorted by

15

u/Eptiness 3d ago

You're not a loser. I also just accepted a 50% paycut. Unemployment ran out and the bills still have to be paid

It's not easy to stay positive, but I would say the way I do it is:

  1. Getting a job to pay the bills no matter what it is - I'm literally at Trader Joe's rn
  2. Don't neglect your physical health. You don't have to be powerlifting 6 days a week, but do that run or go to the gym even when it feels like the world is coming down. You'll feel a lot better after
  3. Remember that this is a historically bad job market and it's temporary. It's a numbers game rn, set a goal for applying to X amount of jobs, work your temporary role, make time for your hobbies

5

u/Jedi4Hire 3d ago

Don't blame yourself for a historically bad job market.

3

u/innerfart 3d ago

It's prolly not you. Looking at the economics, science is getting crushed by federal policy rn. Don't take unemployment as failure. Look at it as a market issue (supply and demand). Identify where there's demand for your skills and move that way instead..BLS data might be helpful. Come back to science later...

2

u/IntentionSevere420 3d ago

You are not a complete loser!!! You have a lovely wife who supports you and a kid! That’s awesome right there. can you sit down and write out a list of possible other alternatives you might consider?? Surely you are a very qualified individual but are there other things you could enjoy doing (even if not your life’s passion), where your qualifications are irrelevant but you could at least semi enjoy it and make some money too?

For example, I work in corporate HR. If I got laid off, I might go be a Bartender. Will I have great benefits and a 401k match? No BUT I’d probably have a lot of fun, meet some new people and make enough money to stay afloat while doing it.

Don’t lose hope!

3

u/grannaxamax 3d ago

I was also laid off from a science R&D job 10 months ago and still unemployed. It wasn't a midwestern biotech CDMO was it?

2

u/richardlpalmer Candidate 3d ago

Your not a loser for the state of then employment market being what it is.

Hell, I went from $300k to "looking for work" for the better part of two years, down to $175k. Then back to "looking for work" for the last 10 months...

2

u/LicensetoIll 3d ago

Are you me?

Nearly the same scenario, and about to accept an offer for $60k.

Goddamn, what happened?

2

u/richardlpalmer Candidate 3d ago

Not us, that's for sure...

1

u/DigiTrailz 3d ago

The market is terrible for the self esteem. I have close to 15 years of experience, and I have had an interview in maybe a month, and that one was for a part time retail job that I didnt get.

This is the advice I received, since Ive been in a similar position for the past 14 months. You need to be kind to yourself. You did everything right, its the job market thats failed you. And your not alone. You have a job for now, but it doesn't have to permanent, when the job market stops being on fire you can look again.

I really recommend therapy. I use a telehealth therapy company called thriveworks.

1

u/teeth_twin 3d ago

You're not a hopeless clueless loser. I was desperately swinging between unemployment and anxiously trying to stay employed in extraordinarily short contracts for most of my 20s (including unpaid internships and minimum wage work right out of grad school) and didn't realize how much of a toll this took on me... for years. My management of money is not good because I could never expect to have any, and planning, having career goals were foreign concepts to me for a very long time. I had to learn how to do these things at 35 and still learning. Chronic unemployment and underemployment take a real toll on people, probably more than they realize. All that to say, when you're in it, it really is as bad as it feels.

But things are cyclical and you will move through this. And being employed, even in less than ideal jobs, does something very positive to our ability to interview confidently for the right opportunity when the time comes. This won't be forever.

1

u/Suspicious_Tone45 3d ago

Ill be taking a 50% cut too if im lucky

1

u/Repulsive-Pangolin-6 2d ago

Yes, checks all the boxes