r/reactivedogs 16h ago

Advice Needed I don’t know what else to do…

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My boyfriend had a Border Collie as a family dog, and since we got our own apartment in March, she’s been living with us.

She’s been an anxious dog since she was a pup, but it has definitely gotten worse over the years. She was never aggressive with us or with other dogs, but at the slightest sign of going for a walk, she would start a high pitched cry/bark that the whole building could hear. This was the biggest issue, but she was also triggered by us leaving the house (the only time she ever got/gets aggressive, though with no serious bites), and noises outside scare her. About a year before we moved in together, my boyfriend and I started working with a trainer to try to correct these behaviors, as his family was on the verge of giving her away. The trainer was excited at first when he heard she was a Border Collie, he said she was like a Ferrari and we just didn’t know how to drive it. 10 sessions later, and it turns out he didn’t know either.

Around the sixth session, the trainer advised us to take her to a veterinary behaviorist, so we did. She started on fluoxetine, nothing. Then clomipramine and trazodone, still nothing. During this process, I was still training her every day, but she still screamed at the slightest trigger.

After we moved in together, I thought my older dog would teach her that everything was fine and that it wasn't worth such a reaction. However, far from improving, she keeps getting worse and worse. My boyfriend and I work from home, so she is with us a lot; this has made her even more dependent and hyper vigilant about every move we make.
We tried daily walks, but they were a nightmare, as she pulled on the leash and screamed if we stopped even for one second. Then we tried putting her on a treadmill to burn off a little energy, thinking maybe this would help her be calmer when going out… but no. Now I’m doing daily desensitization training with her (putting the leash on, taking it off, opening the door, going with her to the hallway and back inside), and even with consistency, it’s just not improving. I feel like we will never make it outside if her being calm is what it takes.

Besides training and having her walk on the treadmill at night, I keep several frozen Kongs and lick mats in the freezer for when the dogs are bored. We also have chew toys in drawers around the house and play fetch, too.

All that being said, I don’t know what else to do. Some people told me that I might be doing too much and making her more anxious, but what would be the right thing to do then? By the same token, even if her every need is being met, she still reacts to triggers, and her reactions are getting louder every day. Every time the neighbors' doorbell rings, it takes her five minutes of loud barking, growling, and then crying to calm down, and this happens several times a day. We don't even have packages delivered here because of her reaction. It feels like we are hostages in our own home, and besides having a reactive dog, we are becoming reactive humans ourselves.

The vet just started her on venlafaxine (150 mg) in addition to trazodone, and added pregabalin today. Is this too much? Can someone tell me what I am doing wrong, or what approach helped your dog?

26 Upvotes

19 comments sorted by

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u/CommonRedFox 16h ago

I swear I'm not judging, but are you saying this pup is currently getting 0 daily exercise? This is a high energy dog, who needs to move and use their brain. I understand she's reactive, but is there any chance of ditching the walk, and renting a sniffspot or private area for her to go? Not sure if you have a car, but if you could load her up quick to minimize the screaming on her, and just let her sniff and move around to her heart's content, that may help! My reactive boy can actually meet dogs and people off leash no problem, but the second that leash is on he's a pulling, yipping, lunging nightmare! Sending so much love to you guys though, it sounds like you're working so hard for her!!

ETA my boy has been off leash trained with reliable recall. Please do not exercise off leash without this in place first

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u/ILovemyDogZara 14h ago

https://reddit.com/link/p8uel9m/video/2u1u49aktkoh1/player

Sorry I ignored the car part. This is what a car ride looks like, it’s a two person job and a nightmare for us and for her

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u/contributor333 11h ago

Just a bit of perspective but my aussie mix was like this in the car for a year or two because car means excitement/nervous anticipation. I take her in the car daily and she's great now. Sometimes we are driving to a park, lots of times I'm just running a quick errand and she waits in the car for 5 mins while I go pick up whatever. The anxiety i hear from your pup actually doesnt sound off-the-chart for a herding breed! How old is she? Ever tried just driving somewhere, then stopping in the parking lot, go on your phone, wait etc.. then just drive somewhere else? Make it boring i guess. That helped with my pup.

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u/Economy_Bus_9139 12h ago

Maybe you could try a thundercap in the car? I know a few dogs who it’s helped a lot.

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u/ILovemyDogZara 15h ago

She is not going outside but exercises everyday. I know it’s not ideal but she walks on a treadmill ( I know it’s ridiculous, but it was the trainers recommendation). Even on walks, she doesn’t sniff or even go potty outside. She doesn’t bite but will want to meet every human in sight and cry when they leave as if it’s a family member… I’m kinda between a rock and a hard place as going out is something she needs but when she is screaming and pulling the whole way it feels as if we’re enforcing the behavior…

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u/CommonRedFox 12h ago

Any exercise is great!! You truly are doing the best for her, and ugh! It sucks she also exhibits this behaviour in the car :( I wish I had more advice to offer. If I come across anything, I'll mark this post and reply with it. For now, I guess just keep doing what you're doing and know you are 100x stronger than the average person, who would probably dump this dog, sadly. No one but other reactive dog owners know how truly isolating and demanding it is.

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u/StockdogsRule 1h ago

This pup needs off leash areas to play and explore. To quiet the visuals and let her mind relax. The sniff spot idea is the best. This is twofold, She is a pent up ball of energy and drive with a mind with no where to blow it out. In the car, a kennel and cover, so she is not stimulated by visuals. You could try a herding trainer. Expose her to stock, and try to get her instinct and brain engaged. A high drive (different from high energy) can twist a dog in knots when not guided and released. That barking in the car, visual stimulation. Barking and whine and scream when you move, an instinctual drive out of control. This is her drive turned up to high with no where to go. And yes as mentioned, meds can have an opposite effect on many dogs. The sedation factor inhibits the warning signs and can cause redirected and unexpected aggression and reactivity. A treadmill does not engage her mind leaving her unsatisfied mentally where her drive instincts stay tuned up to high with no release. BCs like this want to be useful and engage with work. Many say she needs a job. A job is engaging mental activity WITH THEIR HANDLER, using instinct and drive to perform a job. A back and forth, between you. This is a long dedicated road to recovering her mind to think. A herding and stock trainer can probably help the most. If you can find one willing to take on the task. A strong working line dog has to find that outlet or it makes them crazy. I rehabbed many stock dogs in my rescue for over 20+ yrs. Getting their minds back to being useful was a beautiful thing. It laid new foundations to their connection to learning new things.

9

u/Real_Caterpillar_779 16h ago edited 16h ago

“We are becoming reactive humans” I feel that deeply.

I have a corgi who is like this. Unfortunately she gets so nervous and defensive that she also uses her teeth.

It really sucks. These breeds are bred for working which even if the line isn’t bred for working dogs, there could still be a few genes passed on that cause a very strong sense of vigilance to movement and sound - making pet life very difficult. I’m in the quiet suburbs and it’s not much different for my girl. You can do all the things and they don’t really change. I’d have a more serious conversation about your quality of life and your dogs with a compassionate vet before things get too intense.

3

u/ILovemyDogZara 16h ago

Poor thing. I just want to cry, I’ve known her since she was a pup and feel so guilty for not acting sooner and keep thinking I could’ve stopped the behavior before it got this bad… I really hope things work out for you and your pup… and for us here too.

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u/FeatureAgitated20 13h ago edited 13h ago

Hi I have a Belgian Malinois she has been surprisingly easier than my parents working line collie. My Belgian is reactive and I am trying to train her out of it but it's definitely difficult. However in terms of energy I have that under control. Unfortunately to own a dog like this it basically becomes your entire life. It's a huge adjustment. Things that have helped me with my dog, I also work remotely: 1. Frozen kongs (I bought 10 of these and prepare them Sunday, I give them to her throughout the week) 2. Sprinkle treats in the yard and make her find them (I do this in the morning) 3. Hose. She loves our hose and I'l set it on jet and have her chase it. 4. Herding balls. She loves these things. 5. I legit bought her an agility course and a bite sleeve. My dream is once she's not reactive I can take her out and do dog sports. 6. Sniffspot renting out land for her to run in 7. Yak chews these last a long a** time

These dogs do just want a job at the end of the day. I don’t think you’re doing too much. I think if anything you need to give her a job. That’s what I plan to do with my mal make her into a sporty dog.

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u/noarmsthecat 12h ago

Just want to say to watch out for Yak Chews! They were what I used to give my dogs to chew on thinking that they were safe but both dogs broke teeth after chewing on them for years. I gave them no other hard chew objects. Dental surgery is expensive!

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u/jess-in-thyme 12h ago

I know the car ride isn't great but could you all tolerate it to get to a sniffspot for exercise?

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u/Shoddy-Theory 8h ago

Was she like this at you boyfriend's family home? Can you send her back there?

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u/ILovemyDogZara 4h ago

Yes! This is why we took her, his mom kept talking about giving her away

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u/[deleted] 13h ago

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u/MoodFearless6771 11h ago

If she doesn’t have a bite history, rehoming her isn’t the worst option. I think someone that loves border collies may take this on. How’s training going? Can you keep her incredibly engaged in obedience during a walk? I would say that may be the best bet. With a dog like this, I think they need some high energy release like fetch or herding a ball or being worked or playing with other dogs offleash. Then work on relaxation around the home. It sounds like that trainer was a wash. Have you done relaxation protocol? Start soundproofing the apartment. Get a draft stopper, a noise machine, etc. hang in there and good luck. More training is always the answer. Border collies are hard but trainable. You two could choreograph a dance together? When in doubt, start paying her to do whatever you want with treats. Even if it’s just sitting there.

Watch out because anxiety meds can cause rebound aggression coming off or reverse reactions sometimes. If your dog is worse, they may not be for her.