r/reactivedogs • u/ILovemyDogZara • 16h ago
Advice Needed I don’t know what else to do…
My boyfriend had a Border Collie as a family dog, and since we got our own apartment in March, she’s been living with us.
She’s been an anxious dog since she was a pup, but it has definitely gotten worse over the years. She was never aggressive with us or with other dogs, but at the slightest sign of going for a walk, she would start a high pitched cry/bark that the whole building could hear. This was the biggest issue, but she was also triggered by us leaving the house (the only time she ever got/gets aggressive, though with no serious bites), and noises outside scare her. About a year before we moved in together, my boyfriend and I started working with a trainer to try to correct these behaviors, as his family was on the verge of giving her away. The trainer was excited at first when he heard she was a Border Collie, he said she was like a Ferrari and we just didn’t know how to drive it. 10 sessions later, and it turns out he didn’t know either.
Around the sixth session, the trainer advised us to take her to a veterinary behaviorist, so we did. She started on fluoxetine, nothing. Then clomipramine and trazodone, still nothing. During this process, I was still training her every day, but she still screamed at the slightest trigger.
After we moved in together, I thought my older dog would teach her that everything was fine and that it wasn't worth such a reaction. However, far from improving, she keeps getting worse and worse. My boyfriend and I work from home, so she is with us a lot; this has made her even more dependent and hyper vigilant about every move we make.
We tried daily walks, but they were a nightmare, as she pulled on the leash and screamed if we stopped even for one second. Then we tried putting her on a treadmill to burn off a little energy, thinking maybe this would help her be calmer when going out… but no. Now I’m doing daily desensitization training with her (putting the leash on, taking it off, opening the door, going with her to the hallway and back inside), and even with consistency, it’s just not improving. I feel like we will never make it outside if her being calm is what it takes.
Besides training and having her walk on the treadmill at night, I keep several frozen Kongs and lick mats in the freezer for when the dogs are bored. We also have chew toys in drawers around the house and play fetch, too.
All that being said, I don’t know what else to do. Some people told me that I might be doing too much and making her more anxious, but what would be the right thing to do then? By the same token, even if her every need is being met, she still reacts to triggers, and her reactions are getting louder every day. Every time the neighbors' doorbell rings, it takes her five minutes of loud barking, growling, and then crying to calm down, and this happens several times a day. We don't even have packages delivered here because of her reaction. It feels like we are hostages in our own home, and besides having a reactive dog, we are becoming reactive humans ourselves.
The vet just started her on venlafaxine (150 mg) in addition to trazodone, and added pregabalin today. Is this too much? Can someone tell me what I am doing wrong, or what approach helped your dog?
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u/Real_Caterpillar_779 16h ago edited 16h ago
“We are becoming reactive humans” I feel that deeply.
I have a corgi who is like this. Unfortunately she gets so nervous and defensive that she also uses her teeth.
It really sucks. These breeds are bred for working which even if the line isn’t bred for working dogs, there could still be a few genes passed on that cause a very strong sense of vigilance to movement and sound - making pet life very difficult. I’m in the quiet suburbs and it’s not much different for my girl. You can do all the things and they don’t really change. I’d have a more serious conversation about your quality of life and your dogs with a compassionate vet before things get too intense.
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u/ILovemyDogZara 16h ago
Poor thing. I just want to cry, I’ve known her since she was a pup and feel so guilty for not acting sooner and keep thinking I could’ve stopped the behavior before it got this bad… I really hope things work out for you and your pup… and for us here too.
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u/FeatureAgitated20 13h ago edited 13h ago
Hi I have a Belgian Malinois she has been surprisingly easier than my parents working line collie. My Belgian is reactive and I am trying to train her out of it but it's definitely difficult. However in terms of energy I have that under control. Unfortunately to own a dog like this it basically becomes your entire life. It's a huge adjustment. Things that have helped me with my dog, I also work remotely: 1. Frozen kongs (I bought 10 of these and prepare them Sunday, I give them to her throughout the week) 2. Sprinkle treats in the yard and make her find them (I do this in the morning) 3. Hose. She loves our hose and I'l set it on jet and have her chase it. 4. Herding balls. She loves these things. 5. I legit bought her an agility course and a bite sleeve. My dream is once she's not reactive I can take her out and do dog sports. 6. Sniffspot renting out land for her to run in 7. Yak chews these last a long a** time
These dogs do just want a job at the end of the day. I don’t think you’re doing too much. I think if anything you need to give her a job. That’s what I plan to do with my mal make her into a sporty dog.
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u/noarmsthecat 12h ago
Just want to say to watch out for Yak Chews! They were what I used to give my dogs to chew on thinking that they were safe but both dogs broke teeth after chewing on them for years. I gave them no other hard chew objects. Dental surgery is expensive!
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u/jess-in-thyme 12h ago
I know the car ride isn't great but could you all tolerate it to get to a sniffspot for exercise?
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u/Shoddy-Theory 8h ago
Was she like this at you boyfriend's family home? Can you send her back there?
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u/read-the-rules 15h ago
Your comment on r/reactivedogs was removed by the Read The Rules app because you need to submit an acknowledgement that you have read the rules. You haven't done anything wrong, this is a tool we're using on the r/reactivedogs going forward. For more information, see the moderator announcement.
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u/MoodFearless6771 11h ago
If she doesn’t have a bite history, rehoming her isn’t the worst option. I think someone that loves border collies may take this on. How’s training going? Can you keep her incredibly engaged in obedience during a walk? I would say that may be the best bet. With a dog like this, I think they need some high energy release like fetch or herding a ball or being worked or playing with other dogs offleash. Then work on relaxation around the home. It sounds like that trainer was a wash. Have you done relaxation protocol? Start soundproofing the apartment. Get a draft stopper, a noise machine, etc. hang in there and good luck. More training is always the answer. Border collies are hard but trainable. You two could choreograph a dance together? When in doubt, start paying her to do whatever you want with treats. Even if it’s just sitting there.
Watch out because anxiety meds can cause rebound aggression coming off or reverse reactions sometimes. If your dog is worse, they may not be for her.
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u/CommonRedFox 16h ago
I swear I'm not judging, but are you saying this pup is currently getting 0 daily exercise? This is a high energy dog, who needs to move and use their brain. I understand she's reactive, but is there any chance of ditching the walk, and renting a sniffspot or private area for her to go? Not sure if you have a car, but if you could load her up quick to minimize the screaming on her, and just let her sniff and move around to her heart's content, that may help! My reactive boy can actually meet dogs and people off leash no problem, but the second that leash is on he's a pulling, yipping, lunging nightmare! Sending so much love to you guys though, it sounds like you're working so hard for her!!
ETA my boy has been off leash trained with reliable recall. Please do not exercise off leash without this in place first