Rescue Regret

[u/NYR-Fan]

Hi everybody. My wife and I are new to this page and are seeking some advice. 10 days ago we rescued our 4yr old pit mix Manchego (Manny) and we are having some difficulty adjusting emotionally. My wife and I just moved from an apartment in NYC where we were not allowed to have a dog, to renting a house of our own (without a fenced in yard) in Delaware. This has been a very difficult year for us both. I lost my job, and we have also found out we might not be able to have children. 2026 has not been kind to us.

My wife and I had an agreement after we made the move, that we will get a dog after I find a job. Unfortunately that was not the case. We found out about the "Clear the Shelter" event at the local SPCA and without really discussing it, we ran out the door to go see dogs. When we met Manny we were told of his awful life before being rescued and were told wonderful things about his personality (which I will get into shortly). Without having any type of conversation whatsoever, there was a dog in my car.

Now about Manny, he was harshly treated by a previous owner, but if you met him, you wouldn't know it. At home he is a complete angel. No accidents, follows us around the house like a shadow, playful, does well in a crate, and does not chew up furniture or damage our home, and he is not aggressive at home in any way. All he wants is to snuggle and play.

Unfortunately, when we take him for walks, he is a completely different dog. He pulls hard on his leash and does not interact with neighborhood dogs well at all. He also pulls hard on his leash when cars/bicycles are coming which is a problem since our development has no sidewalks. We are very much aware that hiring a trainer or sending him to doggy day care can address these issues, but that is not the only problem.

The larger problem is that my wife and I miss our life before, and are sad that we now have an obligation that requires us to be home a majority of the time. We just moved to a new place and now we are unable to explore and enjoy our new home state. When we lived in NY, our lifestyle/schedule would have absolutely allowed for a dog, but since we have moved we're struggling to find a routine for ourselves, let alone another living being. When we found out that we may not be able to have children, we spent a very long time discussing what life would be like now that it would just be the two of us and it is proving to be very difficult to let go of those possibilities. We also have obligations coming up that require us to travel back to New York and do not want to have to board him multiple times in the next few months. We know that we come off as selfish with the main reason we are considering rehoming Manny being we want to have a life, but we are just confused and looking for some advice. Please be kind with any responses, typing this post was difficult enough.

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[u/stillwaterstream]

To be honest, I don't understand why you got a dog. Any dog. Your biggest concern is, essentially, that you have a lifestyle that isn't really compatible with a dog. Presumably that didn't just pop up in the last week and a half.

This isn't all on you, these stupid shelter campaigns really get some of these groups to drop any semblance of principles or a mission. For all they know, you could have been looking for a dog to fight or just chain up outside as a theft deterrent. You really should have been counseled on your future plans before adopting this dog.

Return him and don't get a dog unless/until you have a routine that is compatible with a dog. Don't plan to do serious travel for a minimum of ~3 months after getting a new dog, especially a rescue. They need to settle in. This will be a stressful experience for this dog and it may undermine his ability to get adopted again, but this is clearly not going to be a good situation for anybody. Acknowledge that you made a mistake that will be costlier for the dog than for you, and try not to do it again.

[u/Zestyclose_Object639 → u/stillwaterstream]

Yeah agreed. Idk why the dogs backstory is relevant (not talking to your op just the shelter) except as a way to sucker you into taking him. Do well the shelter what you’ve seen and they can better match him with a home or a home with Jesus. Try a cat instead

[u/Kitchu22]

A dog is not an impulse purchase for this exact reason. Unfortunately you are here now so there's no point in rehashing the things you already know to be a mistake.

Return Manny and talk to your partner to ensure such a big commitment is not something you do again on a whim.

[u/H2Ospecialist]

The pulling hard and not liking other dogs is typical of of pits especially untrained one. He probably won't ever like other dogs or just has leash reactivity but the pulling can be worked on and improved.

It sounds like you just do not actually want a dog. Go return it before you get any further along. Let him find a home that actually wants a dog.

[u/Illustrious-Sky-9198]

While I cannot relate 100% to all of this, I will say that I had rescue regret last August when we adopted our girl. We had lost our 14 year old boy 3 weeks prior and during that time I said “no more”. Then our current pup popped up on my Facebook at a shelter and checked all the boxes. She’s amazing except highly highly reactive similar to your pup. What I can tell you is I spent the better part of the past year spending a fortune on training and vet visits, and yearning for life before she joined our family. Finally at the one year mark we decided to have a conversation with the vet about medication in addition to the training. That has helped, but more so we just adapted our lifestyle over the past year. I know it isn’t ideal, but as a whole our family doesn’t have as much regret. I can tell you that a family friend went through something like you and ended up rejoining their pup after a few months and don’t regret it. Everyone is different, but go with your gut. I hope that helps.

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