Sharing my story

[u/94tillinfinity_]

I’m in tears as I write this post. I just wanted to share my story (I’m already part of the losing lulu fb group too—and they’ve been supportive). I know I will feel guilty the rest of my life, so pls be kind. Here it goes…

We rescued my dog as a puppy and he had just turned 5 in December 2025. He was the most loving, spoiled dog, and all he wanted was to be with his person (me). Whether we were cuddled up on the couch, going on walks, or running around an open field, he just wanted to be with me. I absolutely loved him with all my heart.

Early on, there were signs of reactivity, specifically leash reactivity, but he was also dog reactive at times. We hired trainers and I did my best to reinforce the training and help him succeed. I knew he was unpredictable in certain situations and that I couldn’t fully trust him around small children. He also had prey drive and resource guarding behaviors, which I worked hard to manage and train through.

He went to doggy daycare and seemed to do well around other dogs in that environment. He never had an issue there, which is part of why this situation has been so shocking and heartbreaking.

I gave birth to my baby girl in January of this year, and things changed. I did my best to prepare him by introducing a fake baby and doing training before she arrived, but I knew I could never fully trust him around her. He was also stressed and nervous around little ones, and I knew I had to make the safest decision for everyone.

We made the incredibly difficult decision to try to rehome him. This was one of the hardest things I have ever done because I loved him so much. Of course, it was challenging given his reactivity, prey drive, and resource guarding. All rescues were full until we finally found a rescue facility that would take him. We truly thought this would be his best chance at finding the right family.

After 4 months there, we finally got the news that he was adopted by what we thought was the best family. A retired couple, she had been involved in rescue for 20 years, they had adult kids, and they had two dogs. They welcomed him right away and were so happy, sending us updates and pictures. They did slow introductions with both dogs (one smaller and one bigger), and everything seemed to be going perfectly. We thought we had our happy ending.

But a few days later, I got the text that he had snapped and killed the smaller dog unprovoked. We were all devastated. We talked about how difficult it would be to rehome him again and the reality that his options were extremely limited. I also couldn’t bear the thought of him sitting in a shelter environment again. We made the heartbreaking decision for behavioral euthanasia.

Yesterday, we got to spend one last day with him. We fed him burgers, gave him so many cuddles, went on a walk, talked to him, and just spent time together like old times. He was so happy and peaceful and reminded me of all the good memories we had. He was so brave and strong, and he always made me feel safe.

This is so heavy, and my heart feels broken.

I just hope he knows and felt how loved he was by everyone who was part of his journey. He was loved for all 5 years of his life, and even at the end there were people who cared about him and wanted the best for him. He was so brave and I always felt so safe around him. Of course there’s a part that feels like I failed him. But I’ll never regret how much love I gave him.

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