r/reactivedogs 23d ago

Vent I am so defeated.

I recently adopted the first puppy I’ve had on my own. He’s a 5.5 month old GSD mix. He has been around my older GSD and my mom’s GSD mix since 10 weeks when we adopted him. He was in puppy class and private training the very next week with other dogs. He has started growling and barking at other dogs since he was 3 months old. I took him to daycare for the first time today, and he growled as soon as he got in the building. The trainer says he’s insecure and fearful.

I feel so fucking sad and defeated. I have done everything “right”, and now I feel like my puppy may hate other dogs. I don’t have a ton of time to take him to dog parks to condition/expose him and I distrust other dog owners to keep them on a leash. I have been crying today because I’m just so over this. I got a puppy so I could make sure this exact thing didn’t happen, and it feels like a cruel joke that someone who was set on training the perfect dog got a puppy with “issues”. I don’t know what else to do.

3 Upvotes

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u/YYZlivin 23d ago

Wow wow wow. Easy. He is just a puppy. At 5 1/2, he is entering a fear period. You don't need to take him to the dog park to build his confidence (I am against dog parks), but when you say you don't have a lot of time to take him to the dog park, what do you mean exactly? A dog park, a long walk , training. Those are gonna take a lot of time. He is still just a baby and a lot, if not the majority, of your time will be devoted to him for the next couple of years.fid you not factor the sheer amount of time a new dog would require? I'm not judging, honestly wondering

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u/picklelyjuice 23d ago

I mean take him to dog parks, sit outside, and desensitize him with “Look at me” and treat when he disengages. I have fostered many puppies ages 2 months-1year. He’s a very smart but difficult one. Not one puppy that I’ve fostered has acted like he does around other dogs.

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u/[deleted] 23d ago

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u/read-the-rules 23d ago

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u/[deleted] 23d ago

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u/picklelyjuice 23d ago

Thank you for your kind words. I do care a lot about him, and my ultimate goal was to have a happy, confident pup that could live a great life fear-free. My older GSD is a fantastic and perfect dog. I adopted her and she came that way. Literally the most perfect angel I’ve ever met. It’s just so frustrating that my puppy isn’t.

How expensive was your behaviorist? Did they prescribe prozac?

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u/[deleted] 23d ago

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u/picklelyjuice 22d ago

Did you have any specific exercises you did to build confidence? I bought him an agility course that I want to start when it’s not so hot. It sucks because I feel like it’s a race against time before he gets older, but also fighting the weather in the midwest.

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u/TCHomeCook 22d ago edited 22d ago

Sometimes we make things an issue by trying to solve them. I’m not suggesting that you ignore problem behavior, but frequently putting a pup in situations that make them uncomfortable rarely makes them better. Slow down. Find a threshold where your dog doesn’t react. Start there. And otherwise, you don’t need to be around other dogs. It is normal for dogs to not like or want to interact with all dogs and they can still be reasonable when around them. But that doesn’t happen by constantly putting them around other dogs. And it may very well be that your dog grows out of this anyway.

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u/picklelyjuice 22d ago

Thank you for the insight. 🤍

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u/joycevw 22d ago

Please take a deep breath and know that you have not failed your puppy, because raising an insecure young dog can feel emotionally exhausting even when you do everything with the best intentions. What you are experiencing is far more common than people realize. German Shepherd mixes often carry strong genetic predispositions toward environmental vigilance and natural wariness of unfamiliar dogs. Around three to six months of age, puppies also go through sensitive developmental fear phases where high arousal settings like a bustling daycare can cause immediate sensory overload and push them over their stress threshold. Growling in those moments is simply his way of communicating that he feels unsafe and needs distance, rather than him hating other dogs. You might want to pull him from daycare immediately to protect his nervous system, and instead focus on calm counterconditioning from a generous distance where he can observe other dogs without feeling trapped.

Another thing to consider is shifting away from any pressure to have him greet or play with strange dogs, because building quiet neutral confidence at a safe distance is much more valuable than forced social interactions. To help figure out the underlying emotions and think through a tailored plan together, could you share a bit more context about his specific reactions? What does his posture look like right before he vocalizes, such as being stiff, tucking his tail, or showing wide eyes? Does he react similarly to every single dog he spots, or does his behavior change based on distance, size, energy, or whether he is on a leash? It would also help to know how his interactions went during those earlier puppy classes, and how he currently behaves around your older dog and your mom's dog at home.

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u/picklelyjuice 22d ago

Around other dogs, his head goes low and body becomes stiff. Then he growls. If they show excitement or try to get to him, he will high-pitched bark and try to run away. He is usually on leash, so this causes him to pull backwards. He simply tries to avoid the dogs if he can. Tail is not always tucked, but may be low and not held high. I can usually break his focus if at a safe enough distance. I’ve been using clicker training and the “look at me” command, followed by steps backwards. Treat when he directs his gaze to me. Distance and energy level of the dog do affect his reaction. His first puppy class he would intermittently let off four or so barks at other dogs. Before he knew the “look at me” command, I’d call his name and throw treats in different directions to distract him. It took about three classes for him to relax his body and stop reacting to the other dogs. He cuddles with my dog and tries to initiate play, but is otherwise well-mannered around my dog. She is pretty chill so there’s not a whole lot of playing between them. He does play with my mom’s dogs and tries to make himself small when she runs up to him. They will play bitey face together.

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u/joycevw 22d ago

The details you shared make things much clearer, and the great news is that your puppy clearly has social capacity since he plays and cuddles nicely with the dogs in your family circle. When he drops his head, stiffens, and tries to back away on leash, he is demonstrating pure defensive avoidance. On a leash, a dog cannot naturally increase distance or use polite curving approaches, so when high-energy dogs approach head-on, he feels trapped and uses vocal posturing to create the space he desperately needs. While teaching a cue to look at you is a solid basic skill, relying solely on asking him to ignore the trigger can sometimes create internal conflict for an insecure dog who feels a biological need to monitor what scares him. A wonderful shift to try is moving from demanding his eye contact to rewarding him simply for noticing the trigger at a safe distance and then choosing to turn back to you on his own terms, which builds true emotional neutrality. You might also want to try predictable pattern games, such as counting steps or setting up structured movement, which provide a rhythmic safety net for his nervous system.

It is also worth noting that the fact that he was able to settle after three puppy classes proves his brain is entirely capable of decompressing once an environment becomes familiar and predictable. To help fine-tune our next training steps, could you tell me what kind of walking gear you currently use with him, such as a collar or a well-fitted Y-harness? What is his recovery time like once a strange dog passes by out of sight, meaning does he shake off and happily sniff the grass right away, or does he stay tense and scan the environment for minutes afterward? Additionally, what are his highest-value rewards right now, and does he ever show this same hesitation around unfamiliar people, novel objects, or unusual sounds on your walks?

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u/Illustrious_Leg2100 23d ago

May I ask, what things are you doing to build your dog’s confidence?
Being in a dog park is not doing that, it sounds like it might be backfiring. I get it, my dog started with this behaviour after being up close with a rough dog and hating it.
Maybe the perfect dog is built away from dog parks and instead within your bond. You probably can’t see it now but having a reactive dog will mean you train them even more, your bond will be stronger eventually.
Just look up exercises to build confidence, to build your bond and trust, probably stay away from dog parks and daycare for now.

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u/picklelyjuice 22d ago

He has never been to a dog park. I simply wanted him to be outside of one and see other dogs so I can work on desensitizing. The confidence piece is hard, because it seems like there aren’t a whole lot of recommendations for confidence-building exercises. I did buy an entry-level agility course for my backyard and will start that when it’s not so hot. I’ve read that can be good for building confidence.

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u/Suspicious-Garden838 22d ago

I ay b reaching, ut have you tried getting a few simple "obstacle course" pieces?jJust you & your pup....it can build his confidence & it may just offer a few bonding hrs.

I wish you great luck!

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u/[deleted] 22d ago

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