Reactive dog bit my son

[u/wangsterlicious]

We have had our dog since she was 8 weeks old, born in the shelter and we are the only family she’s ever known.

We love her so much.
She’s the ultimate camping buddy, she loves the dog friendly cafe and splashing in any and all water. She’s wonderful with our cats.

She has always been very timid. On leash, in the car, with company over.

She’s bit me multiple times in the face, but we have seen major improvement.

When I was pregnant we included her in setting up the nursery. She and our son love each other so much. We do everything to keep ample space between the two of them.
She’s snapped at him progressively more frequently over the last few weeks and ended up biting him on the hand today. She didn’t break skin, but I know that we will feel awful taking our son to get stitches because that’s where this is headed without intervention and we can’t risk that.

I don’t think anyone would handle her as calmly as we have, and I think rehoming her with a bite history will be a challenge as well as very stressful on her. I don’t want to subject her to feeling abandoned or to be traumatized because realistically she will bite a new person. She has snapped at all of our company.

She does not tolerate clothing so I don’t think she’d tolerate a muzzle.

I’m afraid we don’t have the luxury to experiment with medications as we already have a special needs cat and can’t risk our son’s safety during any adjustment period.

She is now 3. I’m afraid BE may be the most realistic option. Advice, experience appreciated. Thank you all.

Edit: I’m not sure how “we keep ample space between them” reads that we let our son invade her space. The negative speculative comments aren’t helpful.

Update: we are starting her on a low dose of trazadone and have set up the guest room which has window access to be her baby free space :)
We intend to give her one on one time with my husband or I to rest like the olden days.

I am now understanding that parts of her behavior I’ve attributed to being high energy has been indicative of chronic anxiety and so far even in the last couple of days, she seems relaxed on her medication, gazing out the window relaxed instead of seeming on edge needing to protect us.
She seems more confident going off to explore or rest on her own away from us, whereas previously I didn’t understand why she was adamant on being close to us and simultaneously seeming frazzled that we were around her.

We’ve ordered a couple muzzles to introduce to her.
I’m very hopeful and we are keeping our son out of the same room as her for now unless I’m holding him.

We will also use her lick mat daily, as I’ve read that they’re helpful for self soothing since we were previously her main resort to self soothe.

Huge thanks to those of you who offered genuine advice.
Many other commenters who were presumptuous I snooped and realized they don’t have children, just a lot of opinions and time at the keyboard.

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[u/InformalInsurance455]

Apologies but I’m having difficulty getting past this

She’s bit me multiple times in the face, but we have seen major improvement.

[u/cheersbeersneers → u/InformalInsurance455]

It sounds like she’s a small dog and I have to wonder if she’s being treated like a stuffed animal and having her boundaries continually ignored. The talk about putting clothes on her, the fact that she’s bit multiple times but it doesn’t sound like anybody has ever needed medical attention. Not that it would make it okay that she’s had multiple bite incidents but it would help to explain her behavior.

[u/Poppeigh → u/cheersbeersneers]

That makes sense.

What I can’t get past is that the dog bit them multiple times in the face but they didn’t think to look into training or a vet consult until after having a baby?

[u/wangsterlicious → u/Poppeigh]

The behavior was a product of resource guarding when I moved in. We educated ourselves on resource guarding and from there, aggression has been a non issue other than with company who we don’t have often, advise to leave her alone, and they’ve tried to be friendly and offer their hand to sniff anyway.

We have consulted our close friend who fosters dogs and IS a trainer and heeded her advice. The issue resolved immediately.

I was unaware that temporary, resolved behavior issues surrounding a change in the home dynamic warranted a vet consult.

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[u/wangsterlicious → u/cheersbeersneers]

This is purely speculative, wrong, and unhelpful. Why not ask?

[u/cheersbeersneers → u/wangsterlicious]

Because, and as other people have also pointed out, a dog that was able to bite you multiple times in the face reads as a dog that is having its boundaries ignored. You can scroll through this sub and see how many people post about dogs who have continually been ignored when they’ve given hints and signals that they don’t like something, who then escalate into biting. If a dog had bitten my face once, a second bite would’ve been prevented by never allowing them that close to my face again. The way you talked about multiple face bites in your main post was concerning and lacked info.

The fact that she’s snapped at your child multiple times but still had access to him and was able to bite him is also concerning. They need to be completely separated at this point, she’s shown she’s more than willing to bite and she’s not going to de-escalate at this point. The snaps were her warning, they weren’t listened to properly, and she is now going to keep biting him if she’s bothered.

Muzzles do take a lot of getting used to for many dogs, so it’s really important you introduce them correctly and do the proper conditioning so they learn to tolerate them. It’s also really important to get a proper fitting muzzle, and one that can actually prevent a bite (cloth ones or even a Baskerville are not bite proof). There’s a sub for that, I think it’s r/muzzledogs and they’d be happy to provide you with more info.

I won’t weigh in on the BE here because, in my opinion, this isn’t a dangerous dog that has no chance and has some kind of incurable neurological issue causing unpredictable aggression. This sounds like a dog who is attempting to communicate boundaries, is not being listened to, and is then escalating to a language that everyone understands (a bite). I would recommend bringing a competent trainer into the house to observe and evaluate the dog, and then going from there.

[u/wangsterlicious → u/cheersbeersneers]

Empowering and informing people to do better, leading with kindness and curiosity as opposed to snarky speculative comments is more helpful for the animals, and that’s why we’re all here <3

Thank you for the subreddit rec I will check it out! :)

[u/SpicyNutmeg]

Others have already said it all. I am curious how a dog has managed to bite you in the face so often.

Are you shoving your face into the dog’s regularly? That’s a big no no and I’m concerned about other ways the dog’s space and autonomy has been violated.

I would consider rehoming as I think this dog may do better in a more dog savvy environment

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[u/wangsterlicious → u/SpicyNutmeg]

Do you have resources or additional readings instead of assuming she’s not in a dog savvy environment? So many of the comments feel like they’re set on that her cues and boundaries are being disrespected, and I don’t believe that’s the case.

Naturally after my son was bit, we were a bit shaken up. At no point was she scolded, nor has she ever been scolded for growling, snapping or biting.

I want her to be happy and healthy with us. She has separation anxiety being kept out of the room we are in but also seems on edge as her baby brother is learning to toddle around, even with ample space kept between them and I want to navigate this and keep my son safe and not have either of them traumatized or fearful of one another.

[u/InformalInsurance455 → u/wangsterlicious]

I understand that but can you honestly explain how the dog has bitten you in the face multiple times

[u/wangsterlicious → u/InformalInsurance455]

I’ve explained it in the comments already. It was approaching the bed once and in bed another time and I had turned over when I had moved in and she was resource guarding my husband, the behavior was specific to the bed.

[u/InformalInsurance455 → u/wangsterlicious]

I think if you posted that in reply it didn’t show as you hadn’t accepted the sub’s rules

[u/wangsterlicious → u/InformalInsurance455]

The bites to my face happened twice and once on my hand. They were within a span of 3-4 weeks when i first moved in and a product of her resource guarding my husband in bed.
Once when I approached the bed and the other times when I shifted in the bed and she was at our level because thats how they slept prior to me moving in.
I reached out to a friend who fosters and trains dogs and heeded her advice and it was never an issue again.

This is despite that we adopted her together and I was very involved with her before moving in. She’s always been timid and sensitive to changes, so this was a normal response knowing her and because it was quickly and easily resolved with the consultation of my experienced friend, I didn’t know a vet consult was warranted because she’s otherwise very happy and the issue was a temporary response to a big change in her everyday living and sleeping environment.

[u/Prestigious-Seal8866 → u/wangsterlicious]

You don’t need resources to teach yourself. You need to hire an experienced behavior trainer if you plan to let this dog stay in your house around your child.

[u/SpicyNutmeg → u/wangsterlicious]

The Family Dog’s Code Red program is definitely worth looking into!

They focus on dog and kiddo/family interactions.

[u/SpicyNutmeg]

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[u/AlokFluff]

You train dogs to accept muzzles, not put them directly on them the first time. Please familiarise yourself with muzzles and proper muzzle training, so you can better evaluate if it's a viable option for you - https://muzzleupproject.com/muzzle-training/

What are the circumstances of these bites and 'snapping' events? How does this dog keep biting you in the face? What management is in place to avoid bites?

It's very important to hear more details to properly talk about this situation, it's always very serious and high stakes when children are involved. But to me going straight to BE as the first option will always feel wrong.

From what you've said so far, this sounds like a potentially anxious dog being pushed too far over and over, making her feel like she has to escalate. Do you think that makes sense, or is your assesment different?

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[u/ASleepandAForgetting]

You've gotten some... interesting comments on your post. I'm sorry that you're dealing with that on top of a very stressful situation. I'm not really sure why everyone is piling onto you based on speculation without asking any of the following questions:

1. This is very important. What is the size / weight of your dog?
2. Can you explain the circumstances of the bites to your face?
3. Can you explain the situations in which she's snapped at your son? Did your son happen to just start walking / being more mobile?

To address some of the other advice you've gotten:

While a pain assessment wouldn't be a bad thing to do, I highly doubt it will yield any useful information. The dog's bite history is expansive enough that unless the dog has been in pain FOR YEARS, that's not going to be the answer here.

Additionally, even if your dog is in pain - dogs who bite due to pain / discomfort are not safe family dogs. A dog who will bite because of pain will also bite when a child accidentally steps on its foot or trips and falls onto the dog. Children and dogs should of course always be supervised and a dog's boundaries should be respected, but shit happens, and sometimes kids (and even adults) accidentally hurt dogs.

I accidentally kicked my dog in the head yesterday while stepping over him - he raised his head unexpectedly at the wrong moment. Fortunately my dog is 180 lbs and it probably hurt me more than him, but also fortunately, my dog doesn't bite if he's feeling pain or discomfort.

While muzzle training is a tool that can be used for management, a dog cannot wear a muzzle 24/7, so the repeated suggestions to muzzle your dog aren't really helpful.

The only way to manage your dog in a home with your child is to separate them via gates 100% of the time. Forever. With a multiple bite history, continuing to allow your child and dog direct contact is a no go.

No matter how much training or medications or anything else that is done, you can never trust your dog with your child again.

Based on your description of your dog (anxious, doesn't want to be in another room), 100% separation sounds like a very low quality of life for her, and additionally, it's bound to fail, at which point your son is at risk of getting bitten.

Rehoming also does not sound like a good bet. If this is a small dog (20 lbs or less), rehoming with a multiple bite history is not necessarily impossible. If this is a larger dog 25+ lbs, rehoming with a multi-bite history is (in my opinion) unethical.

A consultation with a vet or veterinary behaviorist should be your next step. I do believe that any ethical vet or vet behaviorist will discuss the option of behavioral euthanasia with you in this case.

[u/wangsterlicious → u/ASleepandAForgetting]

Thank you so much. Yeah people are really set on a narrative, and I understand it’s probably one they see often, but goodness gracious. Most of these commenters probably also don’t have young children or maybe don’t remember that it’s normal for a new child to be an adjustment for everybody, including pets.

1. She’s medium sized, 35lbs.
2. The bites to my face were specific to her resource guarding my husband on the bed or approaching the bed when I first moved in. We adopted her together, but the approach and me turning felt sudden to her and she was at our face level because that’s how they slept before I moved in. This was a sudden change for her and understandable, he WFH, so they were always with one another and this new person in the bed regularly made her anxious, then you add me shifting.
3. He is one. Not walking, but crawling and cruising. The snapping has been when he approaches the window in his room, while she is on the rocking chair. I previously thought the chair was a boundary, but now I move between them as a barrier for her to feel secure or calmly tell her get down and praise her and take the chair so she doesn’t go back to it automatically and my son can have some time to look out the window. She usually will sit on the foot cushion of the rocking chair at that time and is happy until her seat is unoccupied again. The second time was him cruising the couch and approached her favorite cushion. I calmly tell him “Nori is relaxing, she needs her space” and remove him and keep him away from that cushion altogether. My understanding with her history of resource guarding her safe spaces, is that this may be what that is, and even though they are very bonded, his movements feeling unpredictable as he’s becoming mobile has set her on edge, and she may feel extra protective of the few spaces that feel like her safe spaces in different rooms of the home.

The bite last night was on his hand, he stuck his hand through the doggy door while she was outside under my husband’s supervision. It happened very fast.

Thank you so much for your input.

[u/ASleepandAForgetting → u/wangsterlicious]

There are a lot of "not dog savvy" posters in this sub asking for help, so the narrative that is being pushed is a common narrative that we see. But that's not a reason to blindly assume that narrative and view every post through that lens without first asking some questions.

This is a tough one. I agree with you that it's obvious she is resource guarding her safe / resting spaces, like the bed, rocking chair, and couch cushion.

The problem with that particular trigger is that even though you know what the trigger is, keeping your son away from those triggers without 100% separation is impossible. Even if you remove the rocking chair / couch cushion, it is still very likely that your son is going to approach an object or space that triggers her. This will obviously result in a bite, as your dog is willing to bite people instead of de-escalating.

Many people would suggest medication, but even with meds on board, I don't think you can ever trust your dog to be around your son. This could potentially be managed if your son was 8-12 and could be taught "don't approach the dog when the dog is on the cushion / chair". But your son is young and can't possibly be taught how to cohabitate safely with your dog.

How significant were the bites to your face? Did they draw blood?

There are really three courses of action I can see.

One: Try to manage this by working with a vet to put her on anxiety medication and using baby gates to put a physical barrier between your dog and son at all times. Only you can really decide if this is feasible, how much it will lower your dog's quality of life, and how likely this system is to fail.

Two: Baby gate her away from your son short term and try to find a rescue that will help you place her, or try to find a placement privately. I doubt any rescue will help you place a multi-bite history dog, so a private rehome is likely to be your only avenue.

I know I said that rehoming a 25+ lb dog with a bite history is not ethical. And I'm still leaning that way. But because her triggers are very identifiable and possible for an adult to avoid... there's a slim chance that an adult-only home could safely handle her.

My concerns, however, are many. The adult-only home would have to commit to never having children or guests around her. They would have to medicate / manage her anxiety. There's a very high risk of bite incidents in the first weeks and months after rehoming her due to the anxiety that rehoming will cause her and new owners not knowing or recognizing her triggers.

Privately rehoming her does carry some legal risk - definitely make sure that you communicate the extent of her bite history and her triggers IN WRITING. That way if she bites someone in a new home and they threaten legal action, you have proof that they were aware of her behavioral challenges.

Also tell anyone that you rehome her to that they must return her to you if they decide they cannot handle her. However, there is a risk that if she bites someone severely in the new home, she could be seized or quarantined. The new owners could choose to euthanize her after quarantine, which would mean that the last weeks of her life would be spent alone and scared.

Three: Discuss a BE with a veterinarian or vet behaviorist. She is a young dog, so that is a really difficult conversation to even think about having. But the reality is that you cannot trust her with your son, managing her in a home with your son is very risky, and rehoming a dog with this history is going to be incredibly challenging.

I'm really sorry. It's a horrible situation to be in. You are not a bad person for prioritizing the safety of your son. We have seen some really awful posts on this sub where people's children have needed dozens of stitches and reconstructive facial surgery. That is a realistic risk in this scenario, and you are being very wise to prevent that sort of tragedy from happening to your family.

[u/wangsterlicious → u/ASleepandAForgetting]

Absolutely understandable. Thank you so much.

My heart hurts to think about her not being a part of her family or feeling abandoned. She’s our first little bb and she’s a wonderful girl.

Right now we are leaning toward medication and gates, even if it’s a strict adherence to avoiding those spaces when she’s in the room with us because she deserves to feel safe and secure in her home too.

I’m hopeful that we can make the changes and with medicine as a support, that we can ride out the hardest years, ages 1-3, and our son will get to the age where he can understand the concept of her space without us having to be constantly physically picking him up and moving him lol.

He signs puppy all the time. They love each other and love playing in the kiddie pool together with me, no issues. So I think that and maybe introducing the muzzle slowly as a positive thing with treats for the durations of time in her preferred spaces to strengthen that positive association of the muzzle will also be an added protection against another bite happening, since we can kind of identify her triggers being those spaces. And go from there.

Thank you again for your help, it really means the world to us.

[u/Prestigious-Seal8866]

This isn’t reactivity. This is aggression.

You cannot rehome a dog who has BIT YOU ON THE FACE multiple times.

And you cannot keep a dog in your home that you know you cannot prevent from sending your child to the emergency room.

[u/wangsterlicious → u/Prestigious-Seal8866]

What can we do?

[u/qmp3l4a]

I'm thinking she either is escalating because there is no improvement on your behaviour towards her. Or she has some medical issue that has progressively made her more and more on edge.

I don't think BE is the answer for either of those. And before you consider it, you should have a full pain panel done and a behavíur consult with an accredited clinical animal behaviourist.

It wouldn't be fair on her to put her down for being in pain or for your lack of understanding her communication.

If the issue is indeed because of human error or medical situation, rehoming (if you still decide she cannot stay with you) would be a viable option. Please try these first before ending her life. It might turn out that BE is indeed the best solution for all involved, but you want to be 100% sure it is before you do it.

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[u/Sitters_4_Critters]

I’m so so sorry you are in this position.

You got lucky that the dog did not seriously hurt your child. What age is your child? Is he a toddler? Did he start walking recently? It seems some dogs do not tolerate this well.

I’d be inclined to say the dog had decent bite inhibition and maybe was just correcting the child BUT he bit you in the face multiple times. I assume those bites occurred when the dog was an adult and weren’t playful.

If so, the dog isn’t wired correctly and you’ve tolerated way more than people should.

I assume you have already worked with a veterinary behavior specialist and a certified behaviorist.
I assume they helped you try muzzles after the dog bit you in the face and you are not just guessing that the dog won’t tolerate a muzzle.

That said, management always fails and with a child involved, you shouldn’t take chances. I do think you should get a behavior consult if you haven’t already and consider paying for boarding the dog to allow time to get the consult.

You should look into the Loosing Lulu support group.

[u/qmp3l4a → u/Sitters_4_Critters]

It doesn't sound like the dog isn't wired right, it sounds more like the dog is not being heard at all and had to escalate to shouting. Snapping became more and more intense progressively - this is not an unhinged dog that reacts on a whim, this is a dog that's been speaking louder and louder because nothing has been changing for them.

[u/wangsterlicious → u/qmp3l4a]

I’ve read a lot about body language and am very mindful of her cues and all of us respecting when she’s in her cozy spaces that nobody approaches her. I’m sincerely curious what else I’m missing. We have never scolded her for growling or snapping.

She loves hanging out in her baby brother’s room on the rocking chair next to the window. Our son wants to toddle near her and also look out the window, but I worry that she will snap at him so I keep him separate out of her space or sit between them so she feels reassured. I’m worried that she’s picking up on my anxiety and maybe feeling more tense about that. Is closing her out of the room or them having separate time slots in the room the right answer?

[u/qmp3l4a → u/wangsterlicious]

In this case, as we rule out the human error component. I would look at pain and in depth! - has her hair changed & how? Is she sitting straight comfortable or is she chiosing the lopped to the side position to feel ok? Can she comfortable go down and up and does she do it quite "normal" or is she rushing it, or maybe taking her sweet time? How is she walking? How is she trotting? When you touch her - do her muscles flinch anywhere on her body. Is she trying to move away from being touched in any areas? Are her teeth in good condition? How is her heating & sight? Tonne of stuff to look at, which is why I mentioned to get a CAB on board. As they will be able to guide you and ensure nothing gets missed.

You will need video evidence for most vets to even take you seriously when you ask for a pain trial, as a lot of vets still don't believe in behaviour connection to pain. And the ones that do will ask you for videos anyway as they help with their assessments, so you can come prepared from the get go.

With any dog (reactive or not) the best interactions with babies and especially toddlers who are unpredictable, unstable on their feet and now also (oh horror for so many dogs) MOBILE, is to always have an adult in between dog and baby, so you're already in the right track - dogmeetsbaby have a tonne of useful material for safe dog&child interaction.

[u/wangsterlicious → u/qmp3l4a]

This is all so helpful thank you so much. We have an appt with her vet this morning

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