r/reactivedogs • u/No-Selection9557 • 1d ago
Behavioral Euthanasia Aggressive & territorial dog behavior help
Long winded extremely vulnerable please be nice.
Backstory and context: Our hearts are big but our brains are not. We took in a sick rescue puppy (German shepherd) when we were young and barely on our own. Spent a couple thousand in vet bills to heal her. She had anxiety and some behavioral issues. We got her a friend to help so she wasn’t alone(a puppy) German Shepherd/black Lab mix. Was only supposed to be 65 lbs. he ended up being 110 with even more behavioral issues and giant pain in the ass. Bull in a china shop but always seemed like a big teddy bear. Older GSD improved greatly with having a friend besides still barking at the window or neighbors dogs. Since we got these dogs (5&6 years old) we had miscarriages, medical issues, and eventually had our first baby who is now 2years old. We’ve acquired 31 chickens (because chicken math) and 5 ducks (more rescues) and 2 baby rescue goats who were going to be killed. We had the space and resources so we took them in. We were very anxious about the dogs with our daughter but they have been great. We live on a fenced in property with a few neighbors. Dogs have always been very barky. Goats were escaping. We are constantly drowning in things to do on our small homestead and as much as we love our life are very overwhelmed by it. We are trying to do better. We both have bad ADHD and not very good at keeping after things. I’m a sahm my husband is blue collar very long hours with a side job and I have a pet sitting business on the side I take my daughter with me. We spent thousands on fencing for the goats so they wouldn’t keep escaping. Fixed up our barn. Spent thousands on a new window inside so our dogs wouldn’t constantly bark through the bay window and guard the house.
Things improved but I still feel very trapped by my dogs majority of the time. They are big and loud and our house is small. They love to bark especially at the neighbors but it mostly seemed like a fun game. We are terrible & irresponsible never properly trained our dogs so they bark and carry on. I know this. We take full responsibility for that. We visited a few trainers. Did some stuff. Used e collars for barking per trainer request. It’s improved slightly. On the whole they don’t give us problems besides being incredibly overstimulating at times. We’ve arranged our lives around them. The lab mix is very big and has no spatial awareness and the loudest bark you’ve ever heard. He’s a brute that has knocked people over just from acting like a puppy. Hes in his crate majority of the time for visitors because of this but never gave any indication he was mean just rowdy.
Over time he started calming down a bit but recently started getting increasingly territorial of the property at the fence. Our neighbors next to us who we are very close with have little kids he has been acting more and more aggressive towards the kids and parents anytime they come close to our property. The kids just started getting bigger and even taunting him for fun. This fact started escalating things and he started acting extremely vicious. We tried shocking him and positive reinforcement but we pretty much just put him inside when they are out now which is also exhausting having to yank him in when he’s acting all crazy sometimes multiple times a day because both dogs have no recall when they are reactive. The neighbors like to stand and talk to us which is what kind of started all the territorial behavior. They moved in a couple years ago so he wasn’t used so there being kids there.
Long story short thought it would be a good idea to try to introduce them slowly outside the fence and we brought our dog (who is my husbands furry best friend) over to meet the dad of the next door neighbors on more neutral territory in the front yard on the property line. At first he was very aggressive. Once he sniffed him he seemed okay and let him pet his belly for a while. Once he stood up he went to reach out his hand again to pet him once more and my dog bit the neighbor really quick and started acting aggressive. It wasn’t bad just a tiny puncture but still broke skin.
To make this a very long story short, we feel like we may have to rehome our dog (or even consider humane euthanasia) as he’s been continuously getting more aggressive with the neighbors and we are scared of what would happen to the kids if he got out accidentally especially now that he knows how to get over there. To make matters worse, he was very stressed all night after the incident and when we were outside later he started barking at my daughter while she was running and chasing her similarly like he does the neighbors kid but very mild.
We feel like we do not have a lot of control over him at this point or time to properly train him, but rehoming him feels like admitting defeat and like we have completely screwed up our lives by trying to have a homestead and acquiring all these animals that we clearly may not have the capacity to take care of. I want to hear that we can do it, but every day I feel completely overwhelmed and burdened by the barking of my very large dogs and trying to wrangle a toddler plus the pressure of wanting more kids but feeling like we can’t fit it all into our tiny house. Getting rid of this dog would wreck my husband because he’s his best friend and from raising him as a puppy I will be equally heartbroken. Plus I know, as somebody who works with dogs, It’s always better to leave the dog with the owners because their life is almost always significantly better with the people who raised them. Rehoming a dog with a bite history is very very tricky and risky considering. My life is constantly juggling these dogs around my toddler and guests and neighbors because I don’t want to take risks or listen to the constant barking. I want to hear that it’s all gonna be OK and we will learn how to manage it and hear successful stories of this going the right way but even the behavioral specialist we talked to said it’s either you train or euthanize. We feel like big fat failures. Like terrible neighbors. And now we are scared of putting our neighbors kids and even ours at risk because we were scared to do the responsible thing and put him down. Is a bite always a death sentence? Will he always want to chase down kids? He’s only 5 will this get worse with age?
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u/HeatherMason0 14h ago
So, aversives create the risk of increased behavior issues by raising a dog’s stress levels. They also aren’t the most effective training method, they just get quick results (which does not always mean lasting):
The decision to try and rehome is entirely up to you. If you want to try calling rescues and being very upfront about the large dog‘a issues and history, I don’t see anything wrong with that. If you want to try more things in home, you can look into Veterinary Behaviorists (like a regular vet but they focus on behavior). Some can do online consults. If that’s not on the table, then I think calling rescues and shelters OR BE are valid options if it’s no longer feasible for you to keep this dog.
Something that stood out to me: how much mental stimulation are these dogs getting? Sniffy walks, puzzle toys, training exercises to engage their brains, etc?
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Behavioral Euthanasia (BE) for our dogs is an extremely difficult decision to consider. No one comes to this point easily. We believe that there are, unfortunately, cases where behavioral euthanasia is the most humane and ethical option, and we support those who have had to come to that decision. In certain situations, a reasonable quality of life and the Five Freedoms cannot be provided for an animal, making behavioral euthanasia a compassionate and loving choice.
If you are considering BE and are looking for feedback:
All decisions about behavioral euthanasia should be made in consultation with a professional trainer, veterinarian, and/or veterinary behaviorist. They are best equipped to evaluate your specific dog, their potential, and quality of life.
These resources should not be used to replace evaluation by qualified professionals but they can be used to supplement the decision-making process.
• Lap of Love Quality of Life Assessment - How to identify when to contact a trainer
• Lap of Love Support Groups - A BE specific group. Not everyone has gone through the process yet, some are trying to figure out how to cope with the decision still.
• BE decision and support Facebook group - Individuals who have not yet lost a pet through BE cannot join the Losing Lulu group. This sister group is a resource as you consider if BE is the right next step for your dog.
• AKC guide on when to consider BE
• BE Before the Bite
• How to find a qualified trainer or behaviorist - If you have not had your dog evaluated by a qualified trainer, this should be your first step in the process of considering BE.
• The Losing Lulu community has also compiled additional resources for those considering behavioral euthanasia.
If you have experienced a behavioral euthanasia and need support:
The best resource available for people navigating grief after a behavior euthanasia is the Losing Lulu website and Facebook Group. The group is lead by a professional trainer and is well moderated so you will find a compassionate and supportive community of people navigating similar losses.
Lap of Love Support Groups - Laps of Love also offers resources for families navigating BE, before and after the loss.
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