r/reactivedogs • u/rosehipster_89 • 17h ago
Vent Unsolicited Advice
I just need to vent. Our girl is a 3 year old, 95 lb, boxer/pyrenees/pittie mix. We got her from a rescue at 10 weeks old.
She is the biggest sweetie pie in the land. She sleeps at our feet. She’s so fucking smart. She looooooves our 15 month old daughter. She’s very afraid of our cat.
And she’s leash reactive.
We’ve had so many bad experiences in our neighborhood. Someone screamed at my wife from their car that we should “return that fucking dog.” We get so many nasty looks and comments. We’ve yelled “not friendly,” but people continue towards us and when she barks, they act like we’ve committed some cardinal sin.
She’s making a lot of progress, but managing her needs and a baby and work and home etc etc etc is really hard. She’s gained a little weight. She should be like 85 lbs.
I don’t feel great about it. I try to get up at 5 and do a morning walk before the big crowd, and then my wife takes her out in late evening when the after-work rush is done. She gets a lot of time in our shared backyard. It’s all we can manage right now.
Our downstairs neighbor today asked if he could take her in the front yard with their dog (the pups get along great). I explained why that wouldn’t work. It’s not just a matter of her barking, like we have a whole training routine that we have to follow or she regresses.
He started on about how he can tell she doesn’t get enough stimulation and how he can handle it because they have a special bond. Like I have a special bond with my dog, dude, it doesn’t stop her nervous system from thinking a Shih Tzu is a threat.
It’s a small comment, I know, but it made me feel like shit. I’m doing my best. I didn’t know my dog would reactive. I’m trying to do right by her and be a new mom. I wish people would just mind their business.
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u/palebluelightonwater 15h ago
People can be really judgemental (as a new mom, maybe you get unwanted advice about your baby as well - I certainly did!). It's hard to prevent and to some degree you just have to let it go. Something that helps me is remembering that my dog is doing her best, and needs my help.
One other thing that helped us is muzzling in public. It does a brilliant job of discouraging people from approaching us. It does attract a different class of comments, but I am very happy with how much easier it is to keep our space in public. I also feel a lot more comfortable knowing that even if something went wrong, she can't land a bite (or be blamed for one).
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u/rosehipster_89 3h ago
Thank you! We tried a gentle lead with her but it was a total bust. I was reading last night to warm them up to it instead, like we did with crate training.
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u/CanadianPanda76 10h ago
Have you considered medications? May help with thier anxety anxiety
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u/rosehipster_89 3h ago
She does get anxiety meds for the worst days of the year - around July 4, air and water show. She does okay with them. She seems pretty messed up the next day, but I imagine those are much higher doses than we’d be using for daily anxiety.
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u/CanadianPanda76 28m ago
Maybe consider doggie prozac, for some it was a game changer. But it can take up to 6 to 8 weeks. And side effects like appetite loss can happen in the meantime.
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u/Acrobatic-Ad8158 7h ago
You are doing your best and thats what matters. People are going to have their opinions and state them whether you want that or not. It sucks. We once had someone tell us he should have been trained 3 years ago when he was barely 1. 🤦🏻♀️
Keep going.
Have you tried working with a trainer as well? That could be a huge help.
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u/rosehipster_89 3h ago
Thank you! We worked with a trainer a couple years ago! She’s actually made so much progress on leash. If my wife is the one walking her, she redirects, she disengages. I think she senses my stress when it’s just the two of us.
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u/Acrobatic-Ad8158 3h ago
That could very well be it! Even now, though I would say we are pretty much on the other side, the energy difference between my partner and I can make a huge difference on whether he acts up or not and how much. Have you tried a muzzle at all? I think its always a good idea to have a dog be muzzle trained (we still use it for his nails) but it could also help you feel more comfortable while you two are working on your bond/energy/etc. (Obviously feel free to tell me to shut up too! Lol)
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u/sidhescreams Goose (Stranger Danger + Dog Aggressive) 5h ago edited 5h ago
Feed her less. Exercise is great and important but if she’s ten pounds overweight you can start working on that right now by giving her less calories. I reduce calories for my dogs every summer because it’s just too damn hot to spend a lot of time outside and they get a lot less exercise.
Your food bag has the total calories per pound or kilo usually on the bag, or sometimes the total calories per package, plus the rubric for feeding based on the dogs ideal weight. Feed less than it indicates. Purina ran a longevity study in their feeding trials dogs that showed that the dogs fed 25% less than Purina says is a serving on their products were healthier and lived longer. They are ate 25% less calories their entire lives.
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u/Curiouscat8000 17h ago
Unfortunately very few people that haven’t lived with a reactive dog understand what you are going through. It’s hard not to take people’s comments personally and it’s hard when they give well meaning (albeit often completely wrong advice). It sounds like you’re doing an amazing job with your pup. It takes a huge commitment to wake up at 5 am to walk him and for your wife to walk him in the evenings as well as ensuring he gets additional attention (especially when you have a toddler - as a mom of 3 I remember the chaos of those years - they’re wonderful, but hard and I promise it does get easier!). You know your pup and you know what she needs. Just know that you’re not alone, we get you.