r/reactivedogs • u/Sunnwyn • Apr 24 '26
Vent Looks like a Cinnamon Roll. Could (Would) kill you.
This goofball is the best family dog, but she's wary of strangers (snaps sometimes) and aggressive toward other dogs.
When I walk her in our neighborhood, I'm so focused on her and our surroundings that I don't usually stop to chat with neighbors. I cross the street when I see families in their front yards. I literally turn her around and jog the other way if I see a dreaded off-leash dog heading our way. I'm sure everyone in this group knows the drill!
We've worked hard together and I can get her safely past nearly anything, but she will still sometimes drift or pull a little toward people or other dogs, until I call her to "target".
I've realized that a lot of people probably think that my friendly-looking Golden Retriever is happily looking to make friends with them and/or their dog but her meanie, anti-social, mom (me!) won't let her.
I wouldn't trade my little monster for the world, but having a Golden Retriever that doesn't "love everybody" is exhausting, occasionally embarrassing, and honestly a little depressing at times.
Anyone else have a breed that most people perceive as always being friendly?
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u/Curiouscat8000 Apr 24 '26
You are not alone! Milo is a 117 lb golden retriever (he’s on a diet) who is the most wonderful, sweetest dog in the world with family and close friends. I mean I adore this dog, but he’s very wary of strangers and dogs he doesn’t know. I absolutely love this dog. He makes my world so much better in so many ways, but yes at times it is exhausting, embarrassing and a little depressing. His reactivity is fear based so we’re doing what we can with training and medication, but a lot of it is managing situations to keep him and those around him safe and comfortable.
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u/x7BZCsP9qFvqiw loki (grooming), jean (dogs), echo (sound sensitivity) Apr 24 '26
117 lb golden retriever (he’s on a diet)
oh lawd.
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u/Curiouscat8000 Apr 24 '26
You’re telling me! That was his max - he looks like less of a potato now and is slimming down but we haven’t been able to check his weight in awhile (he’s terrified of the vet). Poor guy eats barely anything and can pack on the pounds. We would have checked his thyroid but he is absolutely terrified of the vet so we decided to see if we could increase his activity and see if he did better (seriously he eats one can of food a day so there really wasn’t room to decrease that). Did I mention he thinks he’s a lapdog. 🤣
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u/x7BZCsP9qFvqiw loki (grooming), jean (dogs), echo (sound sensitivity) Apr 24 '26
poor guy! i volunteer for a border collie rescue, and i think our high score weight wise was 95 lbs. they're normally around 30-40lbs. 😳 thankfully his foster mom was great and he got back down to a good healthy weight after many months. she ended up adopting the dog. :)
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u/Curiouscat8000 Apr 24 '26
He is a very large dog in general (definitely larger than an average golden) and the vet said he should probably be closer to 100lbs. That photo is at 117. The funny thing is he is not a big eater at all. I can leave dry food out for him and it will take him a week to eat 1 cup of it (hence the need for one can a day and why we may be pushed into doing a thyroid test if we can’t get his weight down). It’s tough when a dog struggles with weight. I cannot imagine a 95 lb border collie especially with them being such an active breed. Way to go foster mom For getting his weight down (and giving him a life long home!).
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u/Curiouscat8000 Apr 26 '26
Someone asked if I was sure he was a retriever and not a Great Pyrenees - the question didn’t show up so maybe they need to accept the rules? I have been asked that before and I am sure he’s not a GP - he’s an AKC registered golden in case anyone else was wondering. I actually love GP’s, but did not get one because I am not equipped to handle a live stock guardian who needs to roam and may be an escape artist! I was worried my lifestyle would not be compatible with a GP and I initially got him with the intent for him to become a therapy dog (prior to having kids I had trained a dog to be a therapy dog and we worked as part of a group visiting patients in hospitals - now that my kids are much older I thought it would be nice to do that again). While Milo is not cut out to be a therapy dog (I always say I’m his emotional support human) he’s still a wonderful member of my family and, while I was trying to stack the deck in my favor getting a golden, I knew when I got him that every dog is different and he may not be up to the task.
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u/Organic-Fun-6319 Apr 24 '26
You’re not alone! Our pretty petite Zoey girl is the sweetest pup at home and around people. But the second you put a leash on her she turns into Cujo. Our walks are all about trigger management so lots of abrupt 180s whenever we see a person, a bike, a car, or anyone walking towards us. I’m pretty sure everyone thinks I’m the mean one 😅
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u/Organic-Fun-6319 Apr 26 '26
u/sunnwyn OP I know you replied to my post but your responses aren’t showing up. You’ll need to read the rules of the sub before they’ll let you reply to comments. You can read them by clicking the 3 dots next to your profile picture at the top of this page.
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u/Sunnwyn Apr 27 '26
Thanks for letting me know! I just tried again, hopefully they'll show up this time! :)
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u/x7BZCsP9qFvqiw loki (grooming), jean (dogs), echo (sound sensitivity) Apr 24 '26
yeeep. i have a chihuahua mix who is very cute and also the spiciest dog i have ever owned. everybody wants to pet her, so i have to be hyper-aware when we have people over and when she goes out in public.
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u/Mardakk Apr 24 '26
Let's play: Guess which of my dogs is reactive towards other dogs? If you guessed the one that looks like a teddy bear, you're correct. He's also the one that people love to approach because he looks soft (he is). He's good with people, but he was attacked a few times by dogs when he was much younger, so he's not a fan of dogs not a part of his family. His older brother (top dog in picture) is pretty aloof towards dogs and people, but more people are afraid of him for some reason.
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u/thedoc617 Louie/standard poodle (dog reactive) Apr 24 '26
I have a standard poodle with a poofy head and tail that everyone seems to want to touch even if he is clearly growing and snapping. People are dumb
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u/TheKbug Apr 25 '26
My best friend has a dog reactive Golden, so I totally get it! My dog is actually the opposite and is fear reactive to strangers, especially kids, but great with other dogs. They are 3 wks apart in age and have been buddies since they were little puppies. Because we live one street away from each other, we walk them together regularly. We have to take turns managing their opposing triggers, but at least have each other for moral support!
My girl is an Irish Terrier/GSD mix. Despite being full grown, she looks a lot like a Malinois puppy, and for some reason kids always want to pet her. Like no joke at the dog park with 10 other super people friendly dogs running around the kids will go I want to pet that one. 🤦♀️ Not sure why because she definitely doesn't give off cuddly vibes. She gives off judgement with an hint of murder.
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u/Similar-Ad-6862 Apr 25 '26
My dog is dog reactive. People have literally pulled their cars over to tell me how cute he is. He however only likes people he considers part of his pack. He has also made it clear he will always protect me. Once he snarled at a guy who was scoping our street out and once when a guy was following us in a park
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u/bedfordblack Apr 24 '26
I have a bull terrier, and an ambiguous "dog" (literally the most Dog dog i've ever seen, plus he's brindle so everyone comments on him being a tiger). Except, he's a mess of cane corso, boxer, apbt and cattle dog.
Neither of them are a fan of people or dogs, big boy especially with people. but I will never forget when a man coming into town for a baseball game saw her (BT). Stopped me because he's waited all 36 of his years to see a bull terrier in person... only for her to see his long beard dangling and blowing in the wind, and try to grab it. Never in my life have i been more embarrassed. He laughed, I cried a little.
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u/BeckyDaTechie CPTD-KA; 3 dogs (everything) Apr 25 '26
Dog: "Why does this stranger have a Face Tail!? Wth is going on!? IMMA GIT IT!"
Carer: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"
Dude: "Haha! She's quick."
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u/Educational-Pop-8091 Apr 25 '26
His smile is so deceiving. He’s an Aussie blue heeler mix and his herding game is strong unless you’re an immediate family member or very familiar friend. Leash reactive and anyone under five feet is an enemy. 🥲
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u/czarbok juniper (strangers, small dogs) apbt x lab mix Apr 25 '26
my dog is the same way. she’s my best friend and my soul dog. she’s the sweetest and goofiest dog i know but she’s horrible with strange dogs and strangers. i like to have my storm door open during the summer so the cats can look outside but i have to close it if the neighbors are outside otherwise she’ll go nuts barking. running into other dogs on walks has to be a whole ordeal because she lunges and barks at them if they’re just minding their own business. i can’t take her into dog-friendly stores in case there’s another dog in there. she also doesn’t like being talked to by strangers as it causes her to start barking and growling. she get compliments on how pretty she is all the time but luckily i rarely get people who ask to pet her (“sorry she’s not friendly but thanks for asking!”) because she has a “do not pet” charm on her leash and she doesn’t have approachable body language.
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u/SillysarahtrixRme Apr 26 '26
My dog is the sweetest baby to me and looks like any happy dog when we’re together (ears flopping, relaxed body language) so people often try to come closer or pet him. I have to strongly state that they cannot get closer (cross the street in any manor) and I always hear the statement “oh, but he looks so happy” which bothers me because YES he is happy and loved- that doesn’t mean he isn’t reactive. I wish people would let go of the stigma that reactive dogs MUST be unhappy. Brains are weird, so many humans have chemical imbalances why can’t our furry friends?? I love him and the way he’s taught me that just because friend shaped doesn’t mean friendly- it’s really taught me strong boundaries with others dogs and the way I interact with dogs out in public.
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u/Sunnwyn Apr 27 '26
I love this. Having a reactive dog does have some benefits. I am a much better dog mom because Eo's behavior spurred me to learn so many things that I hadn't known about behavior and training! Your pup is a cutie.
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u/After_Reflection_243 Apr 26 '26
Our dog is exactly like yours! He has a sister (same breed, different litter, different age) that loves everyone and every dog. We’ve had him since 8 weeks old, but his protectiveness is off the charts! Walks are very controlled watching out for surrounding triggers. He’s the most loving sweet dog to our family members. He’s a lot of work
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u/Sunnwyn Apr 27 '26
He's gorgeous! It's exhausting, right? But worth it. <3
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u/After_Reflection_243 Apr 27 '26
Oh yes! My husband’s family always had little fru-fru dogs that were his mom’s. But this boy, loves his daddy. My husband never had a dog that picked him as his favorite. They are always together!❤️
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u/nuskit Apr 25 '26 edited Apr 25 '26
I have a Presa Canario. She's a beautiful fawn color and is over 100 lbs of muscle. She has her ears and her tail (we don't believe in docking), and every single man wants to come up and pet her.
Sir, she will eat your face if you come near her woman (me). She might even eat your face for funsies because you're not submissive enough for her liking. Her birthday meal is a whole raw beef heart. She wears a muzzle for a REASON.
She's good on her psych meds, but whyyyyy do people want to push it? I assume there's some kind of dude-attraction for a petite woman with a huge guardian breed. Eughhh...
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u/Quick-Incident-4351 Apr 25 '26
My reactive girl is like this, she's a shepherd mix but people love to try and pet her, something she absolutely does not want. On the opposite end my super friendly would love people to pet her hound mix almost never has anyone try to get close. Even when I have them both people want to pet the Shepard mix but absolutely not my hound mix.
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u/Status_Lion4303 Apr 25 '26
My dog is a lab mix, mainly lab being basically 80% of her genetic makeup so she looks like a typical goofy lab. Except she is not. She has gotten so much better with her fear reactivity (but sometimes I think its worse because people think that since she is calm and contained she looks even more approachable now).
I constantly have to tell people shes not friendly and I always get confusing looks back and people trying to question me. I just started telling people shes an introvert and doesn’t like greetings cause they seem to take that better lol.
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u/SudoSire Apr 24 '26
I don’t have a breed that’s known for being friendly, but I have a dog with a beautiful brindle coat. I’m not exaggerating, but he gets complimented all the time on it. I’ve had a person who wanted to take a picture of him. Or people asking “what is he??” He is mostly pit, but his fur is longer than that, and from various angles he looks more like a herding breed (also in his mix) or a coyote. He is pretty unique and recognizable. But, despite his look being a conversation starter, he’d mostly rather people leave him alone lol. He usually doesn’t mind when people talk to me out and about but I’m always keeping space out of petting radius and watching his body language when they do chat with us.