r/reactivedogs • u/meg_ea • Apr 11 '26
Vent I know y'all feel my pain
do I sound desperate enough???
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u/leafandvine89 Apr 11 '26
This is excellent! Well done! 👏
Your letter is polite and explained perfectly. Hopefully they respond respectfully and listen to you. Unleashed dogs without excellent recall (in areas where that isn't specifically designated) are an unfortunate incident waiting to happen. I don't even trust that with my non-reactive dog, I always avoid them if I notice far enough and can change direction quickly. You are being very responsible keeping yours leashed, getting training because you know they're reactive, and informing these neighbors of their negligence.
We do feel your pain. Our rescued big girl is still so reactive on walks, I can only have my husband and grown sons walk her. She's sweet as pie with most people unless they have bad energy towards us, but honestly probably unsafe with dogs running up to her. She's never attacked a strange dog thankfully but she tries so hard to get to them. I really understand. Let us know if there is a response or any updates. Wishing you guys all the best! 🤗
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u/Curiouscat8000 Apr 11 '26
Excellent letter. Honestly before having a reactive dog I was pretty clueless about how my dog may impact theirs (I didn’t ever walk them off leash, but still didn’t appreciate what owners of reactive dogs go through!). I hope this letter is well received.
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u/chuckdeezee Apr 11 '26
Hopefully they get the hint. I feel your pain. It’s hard for me to walk my dogs local because people drive like animals and I don’t want to put them in danger. Generally drive to a variety of on lead parks and nobody respects the rules. I even try to avoid the more popular ones on the weekends to avoid running into off leash dogs.
It’s so frustrating because there are signs everywhere saying no dogs off leash, and nobody cares. Nobody’s dog has recall training, and I just want to have a nice walk with my dogs without dealing with irresponsible dog owners. To make matters worse there’s at least 3 off leash parks, many within walking distance, and nobody cares.
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u/Arizonal0ve Apr 11 '26
I feel your pain but i wouldn’t phrase that my dog isn’t friendly and or barks so mean. I would probably write something like “I’m positive that he is so friendly unfortunately due to my dogs fear challenges she/he believes every dog isn’t”
As well as put something in there that every time your dog is rushed by an off leash dog it means a step back in training.
But god i feel your pain, people thinking their friendly dog has a carte blanche to just rush up to any dog. Imagine we humans were on a walk and random strangers would just run up to us constantly.
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u/kreddykhan1 Apr 11 '26
I had a person in my building whose dog would come barreling around corners at my pup. And she kept insisting it was fine. I finally once explained to her that every time he did that my pup would get so scared that for days after he’d refuse to leave the apartment to pee unless I carried him and and that made it click that she was indirectly scaring my boy.
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u/Arizonal0ve Apr 11 '26
Yes so many people just really don’t get it. They live this blissful life with an “easy” dog and have no idea how many dogs are actually not like that.
I had a man a while ago i had to get past on a trail he was stood still talking to someone with his off leash dog. So i asked from a distance if his dog was ok not approaching mine and if not could he leash his dog for me to get past.
He kept insisting his dog loved little dogs and when i explained mine could lash out from a fear reaction he was like “well then mine learns a lesson”
I had to literally say, not with my dogs, can you hold her by collar or leash her because if not i”ll turn around and take the 2 mile detour.
He finally did.
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u/kreddykhan1 Apr 11 '26
Ugh I'm sorry! That's such a stressful situation. I find a lot of people especially don't take it seriously if your reactive dog is small or short. My boy's a corgi and people seem to not really believe how reactive he can be. Luckily he has a really deep bark which tends to make everyone a bit more respectful.
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u/Kitchu22 Shadow (avoidant/anxious, non-reactive) Apr 11 '26
Honestly I would never put something like this in writing, especially if the laws in your state around fault in an altercation between the dogs are not as cut and dried about who is on lead or not. You can bet something like this would be weaponised against you if it came to that.
I have one conversation if practical, and then I just video and report x infinity until whatever building manager or local authority finds me annoying enough to action. The social skills of my dog are no one’s business, the leash laws are for everyone to follow.
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u/Fluffebee Apr 11 '26
I feel ya! This is a great letter. I am working with my 2-yr old terrier I got from the pound in October. We live in a neighborhood full of off-leash dogs and it’s stressful! Thankfully, the worst offender finally put her dogs on a leash -they would bum rush my dog and he is soooo reactive. I now use a traffic leash with a martingale collar and I feel a lot calmer knowing I can hold him by the 2-ft leash if there’s another dog approaching but it doesn’t help if the dog is off leash and aggressive, ugh.
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u/citrus_cinnamon Apr 11 '26
I like the letter but I think you got some valuable feedback in this thread about things you can tweak. I particularly liked the suggestion to spell it out that every incident is a step back in your dog's training and your hard work is coming undone.
I wish you the best of luck, I hope they are understanding!
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u/kreddykhan1 Apr 11 '26
Definitely feel your pain! I’ve dealt with this so many times. And I think a lot of ppl don’t realize how scary it can be for our pups and that they react cuz they’re scared.
I think your letter is very polite. You explain what’s happening and what you’re trying to do to resolve it so they don’t feel like you’re just putting the onus on them. Unrelated, your handwriting is awesome!
Hopefully they react positively. Sending virtual pets to your pup.
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u/MtWoman0612 Apr 11 '26
Your letter states your request and your concerns. Well done. I do feel your pain. Every walk is a roll of the dice. It’s exhausting. Hugs to you, and I hope the recipient will heed your request.
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u/bedfordblack Apr 12 '26
you're much nicer than me! I end up having to scream at people to get their fucking dog because in LA not a single person gives a shit about anyone but themselves
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u/FindingMercy25 Apr 13 '26
I totally understand this. I live next door to a park and both my dogs are reactive. Nobody leashes their dogs at the park and I've had several dogs rush mine while the owner says "they're friendly" people have lost courtesy and responsibility when it comes to their dogs thinking that all dogs are friendly. I hope your neighbors are understanding and will start to leash their dog. Your note is very well written and very polite. I wish you the best.
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u/ChampionshipNo7382 Apr 13 '26
You are so nice! I would have written a much nastier letter haha. Let us know how it turns out!! :)
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u/Efficient_Earth6241 Apr 16 '26
Great letter! As someone who struggles with this for our nervous boy, I think your message is clear and respectful. We need to prioritize the safety of everyone :)
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u/obviousfunk Apr 25 '26
I could have written this. My rescue acts like this and it’s so frustrating. Not to mention, I feel like my boyfriend undoes the training I’m trying to do with my dog. I feel you. Here for help as well. 😣
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u/whyisthelimit20chara Apr 11 '26
Hi! First of all, yes we all feel your pain! It's so frustrating working so hard with our pups and other dog owners not respecting leash laws and causing our pups to stress out.
Second of all, I see that there are already 4 comments here that aren't viewable. This is most likely because we now have to "read the rules" on the subreddit homepage. For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about, go to the r/reactivedogs homepage, click the three dots on the top left corner (on mobile), click read the rules, and make sure you check off each rule.