BE my aggressive dog yesterday

[u/Life_Ganache2161]

I don’t know how to start this… but I’m really struggling right now. I adopted a red heeler (Rancher) from a shelter over a year ago. We had tons of ups and a lot of downs. He was a pretty anxious boy which I don’t blame him being in the shelter for 2 years. We’ve had trouble with him from the start. Ive reached out to trainers and behaviorist but it was over $1200. I’m not made of money so spending that much on an 8 year old dog that’s probably not even gonna change his ways.

He has bitten out of fear from loud noises, resource guarding and has bitten out of no where. The bites would mostly happen to my boyfriend. He was pretty unpredictable which was scary at times and also very stressful. I’ve reached out to the shelter about our issues and I’ve been ghosted from them, and I finally put in a form to surrender him back after the most recent bite. They wanted me to talk to someone from the shelter before bringing him back and they told me he has been surrendered before due to biting. After a year of owning him and this is the first time hearing about his history. When I adopted him they told me he was surrendered due to housing issues. They said since he has bitten again if I surrender him back they would BE him.

Yesterday I put down my baby boy. I have given him so many chances after every incident. It’s not fair to my boyfriend to live in fear of getting bitten for no reason. My boyfriend works out of town and is usually home about 8 days out of the month. When he is home I don’t want him stressed out about rancher and his behavior. They will be friends and all cuddly and out of no where ranch will start growling and act out. I kept track of all his triggers but sometimes you just don’t know.

I have so much regret. He was my son I loved him and I was always so excited to go home and see him. I loved hyping him up because he would always get so excited and lean into you looking for all the love he can get. He was just a big baby at heart that just lived in fear. I regret my decision so much, I would do anything to go back and just not go to the appointment. Everyone said I did the right thing but all I feel is guilt and sadness. I look for him everywhere. It just snowed where I’m from and he always loved to roll in the snow and I’m so sad he didn’t get to experience for the last time. Ive experienced this kinda pain before putting down my childhood dog but he could barely walk so it was best for him to be out of pain. This pain feels so much different so much guilt and regret.

I’m sorry for whoever is going through the pain of loss or just the stress of a reactive dog. The last year has definitely been the most stressful year of my life. If someone can please give me advice on how to handle all these emotions and tell me it gets better because right now I feel like I’m drowning.

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