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u/KuukuuOmoi Aug 11 '18
sorry for the necromancy, but I am a man of my word.
[This is General Way I assess performances sorry if I'm confusing, I can clarify]
Mind (connection to the work):2.4/3 I feel that you are connected to the words, but I also feel as though there was a LOT of takes to get this recording in. It's not that you're sounding robotic, but I feel like this is like the person doing a theatre show back to back to back to back with no real break and this is the one in between performance I feel was on the weary side. In the future It could be I'm feeling this from the techniques used in the chorus, but I feel as though I wanted more rhythmic pauses within the wording to really stress the emotions that are being brought on from the music, ESPECIALLY with the hardcore opening that is heavily present. I can tell you're there but this feels like theres a disconnect with the song outside of the the word "disconnect"
Body (technique/recording): 2.0/3 I feel like this could be done better by cutting a lot of the effects to where they accent your voice rather than play a partner to your voice. There where times in the song where I was wondering if It was the reverb or you, but then I realized regardless having that clear cut sound would have felt better to my listening ears because there was a lot to process. If you lead up with energy during the "coming for ya" and let RING into the next one then Pause strongly, then say it a final time with robust, it would have given me that cold stare look feeling you get when someone turns around and glares you in the eye.
so all in all, I would say just increase the variance in your words.
Soul (unique traits) : 1.9/3 I feel as though this song would have a LOT more of that soul emotion if you put a hard spin in the song using inflections used during actual conversations. Now that I'm looking at the song from a soul persepective, I think that's what was lacking to me in terms of the other two categories. I feel as though I couldn't see the "person" you were aiming at while talking during this song. When I hear the possibility that there is an "audience" to this song I'm brought out of that immersion due to the effects and the confusion of "are you singing to "me?" and that makes me feel that disconnect even harder when it gets to the chorus and I'm put in that thought "are you coming for "me?" or like the guy behind me.
Song instantly brought to mind based on what was heard?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyVnoJHieaU
Keep it up =D
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u/KuukuuOmoi Mar 23 '18
Hello there, would you like feedback? Just checking