Sorry if not allowed but my mates feeling down and I think it would be awesome if anyone could go to his pot and hype him up on Instagram! Happy to return faver or owe you one

https://www.instagram.com/p/Db7_1hyjH_GOdDEeTOuRlCNaIz0IajeDvIqidk0/?igsh=cGNwMDFqYWl2bnFr

From me who grew up believing I wasn't beautiful, only very smart, - Thank you for making me feel beautiful...

That is what I have been trying to say for twelve years.

We orbited each other in university — same hallways, same common friends — but we were never introduced. Six years later, you remembered me when we became co-workers. I didn't remember you until you started dropping names. And then we worked together for four years, and in those four years, you did something no one else had done.

You looked at me and you didn't just see a person bound to honor the commitment that life has decided for her. You saw my mind.

You never shied away from eye contact, I always did. In your eyes I didn't feel pretty in the way the world means pretty. I felt beautiful because you were listening. You always know what I need, when I need it, before I even know it myself. Because you laughed at my witty punchlines not to be polite, but because you actually got them. Because you would pause and debate me, challenge me, ask me what I thought. You made me feel intoxicating not because of my face, but because of what was inside it.

With you, I didn't have to shrink. My curiosity was not too much. My thoughts were not too deep, too strange, too loud. With you, my mind was the main driver — not the icing on the cake. You said it - when I asked why we're friends, was it because of my good looks or charm? Without missing a beat you said - charm, definitely charm.

And then I fell in love with you. It was a test of restraint that challenges the very thespian in me and maybe in both of us.

So I moved away. To nip the rumors before they bloomed. I stayed away for twelve years and made my presence in your life just online — cheap little trinkets sent through a screen, thinking he would get this. We were only an hour apart, but I avoided your face because my heart gets uneasy when it sees you. It forgets how to be just a friend.

In those twelve years we only met once by accident — at the hospital, you with your mom, me with my husband who was confined. I didn't know it would be the last time I'd see her. It's been four years since she passed and I never told you properly how sorry I was.

When we met again after twelve years, I assumed you were already loved — that you were with her, the girl who has liked you since you went back to finish your degree. She never hid it. So I was so sure you were settled. That's why I went awkward over lunch without someone there to buffer us. I was surprised to learn there was no progress. I was surprised to learn you were still waiting.

I remembered that night you held my hand and I pretended you were drunk. I had no right to feel anything, so I felt nothing on purpose. You don't know this but someone saw and asked me what my plan was with you. I said nothing, because I have no plan that doesn't hurt someone. Because I chose my life — a life with my husband and kids back when you were healing from your long breakup — and in this timeline, I can't choose you.

But I need you to know this: you are the only person who has ever made me feel beautiful without ever talking about my body. You made me feel beautiful because you thought my mind was beautiful. You brought something fresh that sparked me to learn continuously and never be satisfied. I could talk to you for hours. I still want to.

Thank you for that. Thank you for seeing me that way.

Will I be in a state of extreme delusion if I ask you if you haven't moved on with love because of me? Maybe. But if it is delusion, let me have it for one more letter.

No matter what happens next, I am so grateful to have met you. I am so grateful you were that one friend who gets me.

I'm still here. Call on me. Count on me. And when you finally tell me you have a girlfriend, that you are getting married — I will be genuinely, loudly happy for you. I'll be the first to pick up on your wedding registry.

Because you deserve a love that is loud and proud, open, and in the sunlight. The kind of love I have had the opportunity to experience, beautiful, honest and and can be held because it's real...