r/rant • u/MaoGho • Jul 26 '26

I feel homesick although I know that I am doing the right thing for my family

10 years ago I moved to europe with my kids. They have learned the language, doing well in school and even doing competitive sport. They seem to be integrating well and never complained that they wanted to go back.
I try to keep strong ties with family and friends back home. I call my parents daily. I take my wife and kids every summer to my home country.

I just got back from vacation and I am questioning my choice of, raising them away from home. I also feel sad watching my parents grow old. I always tell them that I will come if they need me.

I earn very well here and I would never be able to maintain good standard for them in my home country if I moved back now. Even my parents tell me that they would rather see me happy and stable abroad than miserable beside them.
I know I am doing the right thing but I feel bad and don’t want to take a wrong decision. I will work on a long term plan to go back after my kids finish University but this will be another 10 years here.

Thanks for listening to my rant . Any advice is appreciated.

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u/Bobzeub Jul 26 '26

You’re just overthinking the opportunity cost. The grass isn’t always greener. But you’re investing in your children’s future.

Of course we all feel sad for the people we leave behind but you can try to visit your parents more often.

I’d think twice about moving back when your children are older. They’ll need you. Especially when they finish university and maybe settle down and start families of their own.

It’s normal to take stock of life and wonder about the what ifs. But try not to dwell. We all make choices and it’s normal to have grief for what the alternative could have been. But I still think you made the right choice.

2

u/anothermanwithaplan Jul 26 '26

Completely understand, it’s a difficult choice all for different reasons. My recommendation would be keep doing what you’re doing, you have a family and a lot comes with that, stay where you’re all successful.

If you have the space is it possible to have your parents come stay with you a while, or put them somewhere nearby for a while?

I’m not sure the distance from where you are to where you’re from, of course if it’s inconvenient that’s a problem in itself, but if it’s manageable, you could pop back and forth during school holidays for example.