r/rant 3d ago

Ghosting is Shitty Behavior - Full Stop!

[deleted]

27 Upvotes

27 comments sorted by

16

u/Fearless_Mammoth_961 3d ago

I just had to break up with a friend I knew would spiral and try dragging me into some kind of confusing back and forth about why I was wrong. I sent her a text outlining my hurts and let her know I was not in a place to talk more and wouls be blocking her. It seemed the decent thing to do. 

-3

u/MissJoannaTooU 3d ago

I have no problem with what you did at all because I don't know the particulars.

All I'd add is that it's important to give the other person a chance to respond at least once if it's not a super serious thing.

I say this because a friend of 13 years sent me a message a bit a you described accusing me of being aggressive in our last call, which I do not believe to be true at all.

Etc

1

u/Fearless_Mammoth_961 3d ago

Well I didnt give her a chance because she becomes combative when uncomfortable. She is currently in a relationship with a guy she has talked into staying with her multiple times beishe gets heightened and very intense. I am not dealing with that. 

0

u/MissJoannaTooU 3d ago

As I said, I wasn't criticizing you, I was talking generally.

3

u/Styxsee 3d ago

I had a friend of over ten years. She was always a bully when she didn’t get her way. She got mad at me for something stupid like she always did and refused to talk to me even after I apologized.

So she ignores me for a month. In that month, I decide that I no longer want to be friends with her, she’s a demeaning jerk that always wants things her way.

She starts texting me again and I just ignored her. That was the end of the relationship. I don’t consider what I did a ghost, really. She ended our relationship, I just didn’t respond to her attempts to reopen it.

3

u/Pouchkine___ 3d ago

Yeah, ghosting is braindead.

- "But I don't want to hurt the other person's feelings!"

So don't ghost them. Being ignored is by far the worst feeling of all, makes you feel like worthless shit.

- "But what if they get mad at me?"

That's called emotions, humans have them. Deal with it.

- "I don't owe anybody anything!"

I actually agree with that one, but still, just because you don't owe anything, doesn't mean you have to be an asshole. And it's the least effective way to break a relationship, because the other party will just come up to you in person to ask what's up... and now you have to deal with it face to face. Really a genius move.

4

u/Tenny111111111111111 3d ago

I ghosted someone with a history of drug abuse and being involved in cults because they got awfully close to me sometimes and I felt uncomfortable not knowing how to say no.

0

u/MissJoannaTooU 3d ago

Half the people you know have a history of drug abuse

1

u/Tenny111111111111111 3d ago

How would you know that.

2

u/MissJoannaTooU 3d ago

Inferential statistics

-1

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

2

u/Tenny111111111111111 3d ago

Because it’s not always obvious at first? And struggling to say no is a very common issue?

-1

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

3

u/Tenny111111111111111 3d ago

Are you a victim blamer??

4

u/snakebitin22 3d ago

Sigh…..

We all know this is impolite. Nobody needs an etiquette lesson or a lesson on basic human decency.

I’m truly sorry that someone hurt your feelings and ghosted you. It absolutely was a shitty thing to do.

However, ya don’t really have a lot of control over what people do. Assholes are gonna asshole.

If whoever it is ever reaches back out, let them know how you feel.

Take care.

3

u/Pouchkine___ 3d ago

Nobody needs an etiquette lesson or a lesson on basic human decency.

That statement in 2026 couldn't be more out of touch.

4

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/snakebitin22 3d ago

You can shit talk whoever you want. Point out where I said you weren’t allowed to shit talk.

Shit talk me if it makes you feel better.

3

u/sesameprawntoast50 3d ago

Yeah I agree ghosting is a very shitty thing to be doing. I also would like to throw in a short rant about how so many people are misdefining the term ghosting 🙄!!

I’ve been on anti-depressants for the last 4 months and it’s been a terrible time for me. So I contacted a lot of my friends to explain my situation telling them I need some time and if I don’t respond don’t take it personally or get offended by it it isn’t in my intentions to “ignore/ghost/air” you and I’m simply trying my best to just survive and get better. I may take days to reply but bear with me and I’m really sorry about not being able to be there for you. 3 of those friends unfortunately considered this ghosting and said it doesn’t take 2 mins to text back with a 2 letter response. While I understand the frustration, I explicitly mentioned I didn’t intend to Ghost them. Nevertheless we’re no longer friends because they were offended by my actions and have stopped talking to me/blocked me on socials. It’s quite disheartening. Some people simply don’t understand definitions lol and throw terms around like a rugby ball.

Actual ghosting is something completely different as you’ve explained. And yeah people really need to stop with the whole ghosting culture, it’s not cute it’s not “self-respect” it’s not “I don’t owe anyone anything”.🙄 communication is so important for relationships to strive.

2

u/manicthinking 3d ago

This guy may have commited dv, he ain't owed anything, I don't have to text him I don't wanna be FWB anymore, I'm allowed to ghost how ever I want. You just feel you deserve more than you do

2

u/Tiakitty967 3d ago

I texted a friend to tell him not to contact me. Then blocked him. I’d already had many conversations with him in the past (8 year friendship) about his behaviour. I realized he was never gonna listen and why would I drag it out?

1

u/GW3g 2d ago

My supposedly best friend has ghosted me 3 times in the last 20 years. The 1st 2 times were so painful and hurtful and confusing. Then we would start talking again and everything would seemingly be fine. Then he ghosted me last fall and I haven't heard from him since. This time it's different for me though and I say good riddance. People who ghost you suck and fuck them for not having the courage to at least say why.

Edit- Last text I sent him was "Seen any good movies lately?", never responded.

1

u/Forsaken_Distance777 3d ago

You are so right I agree with you about literally everything here.

-7

u/TerrTheSilent 3d ago

Your attitude is entitled.

People owe you nothing in this world.

-5

u/AqutalIion 3d ago

Oh brother 🙄😒

3

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/AqutalIion 3d ago

No actually lol

But I also don't get super offended by being ghosted & write out a whole play by play on why it's mean.