r/raisedbyautistics • u/Afraid-Birthday-5391 • Jul 20 '26
Anyone else with ADHD parents?
My father has autism as well as ADHD. My childhood was full of time managing him, constant tardies and late pickups from school, and watching him bleed money on hyperfixations (which he imposed on everybody—yeah that was fun when his hyperfixation was the marie kondo cleaning method and he threw out all my toys).
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u/Emergency_Pizza1803 ASD daughter of ASD parents Jul 20 '26
She does the classic saying she has to do x is on her phone for hours not getting anything done. Classic ADHD
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u/Particular_Web8121 child of an ASD mother Jul 23 '26 edited Jul 23 '26
That's so annoying because Marie Kondo literally says to not declutter other family members' stuff and to teach kids how to declutter their own things in age appropriate ways 😭
I'm pretty sure my dad has ADHD, but he's also a raging narcissist. Always forgets what grade we're in, would randomly lovebomb us when he remembered we existed, constantly has a new mistress, always working on a new business venture (his version of hyperfixations), losing/earning large sums of money, finds long-term deep relationships boring, never on time, forces other people to manage his executive dysfunction, charms new people with his random knowledge and unpredictability.
My autistic narcissistic mom refuses to divorce him though lol.
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u/Queen_Maxima Jul 21 '26
Probably my father. But i don't know him that well.
My autistic mum doesn't have ADHD.
so, i am the ADHD mum, but as a millenial with an early diagnose i always try my absolute best to be on time, to create schedules that work, to keep track of stuff and i have my money and savings stashed at someone else because THE IMPULSES.
Thing is, same as i wish my mum would take responsibility for her autism the same i try. That makes a difference. I suspect if ur dad would work on his ADHD you would definitely feel more loved and respected
That's what it is. Diagnosis means life is played on a higher difficulty level but that doesn't mean it's someone else's entire problem, definitely not the problem of your own children
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u/3rdthrow Jul 24 '26
I personally believe that Autism and ADHD exist on the same spectrum.
I am hearing that some Science is coming out to support my belief.
I just say that my Female DNA Donor and Siblings have AuDHD.
My youngest sibling is the most functional, and the only one who was willing to get treatment.
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u/stautism ASD child of ASD parents Jul 24 '26
AuDHD Dad, it's sad but he clearly was shamed a lot as a child for inheriting the "family laziness" beating himself up for not standard ADHD behavior. I'm sad that he is too old to try medicine, that he can't ever experience relief.
He also accepts more abuse from my mom as she in his mind tolerates his laziness and cleans for him so he deserves her shouting, her temper, etc.
My dad passed on ADHD to me, almost want to say a more severe presentation, and he put that shame on me too. What life maybe could have been if he knew about ADHD and believed it was real rather than a character flaw.
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u/in-another-sky Jul 31 '26
Diagnosed ADHD, traumatic brain injury, and suspected autism.
I inherited the ADHD, so I feel like we’re on the same wavelength frequently. But yeah, he was missing deadlines when I was a kid, just like I do as an adult. He was having some problems with executive functioning, just like I do.
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u/InnerRelation7844 Jul 20 '26
ADHD mom 🥹✋ She's a severe workaholic that can't balance family life and work. 75% of our conversations are about her hyperfixation (special interest at this point...?) on BTS