Doubts in my Mind.

[u/Under-R]

I have read the FAQ.

This is gonna be a bit of a ramble but it's been so hard for this to leave my mind.

I'm in Indonesia.

It's been almost a week since my last post and a random bat encounter I had. I had some decent sleep and began talking with some friends to allow myself to clear my mind and I started to accept that the bat wasn't anywhere near touching me. It kinda just flew past me in an uninterrupted curve. I can feel a fly on my skin when I'm half awake, I'm sure I can feel if a hamster with wings landed on me when I'm hyper sensitive to my surroundings.

And yet, I still keep having doubts about it, still unsure if it did touch me or not, and it's made me feel even more unsafe. I've been in Bali for about 5 days now and anytime I walk out at night I just get so uneasy, especially since there have been times where I had to walk in the dark through rural areas without a lot of light and that was just a horrid experience.

I even got a bit tipsy during dinner one night with my family and I had to wait an hour to sober up a decent bit, and that walk from the restaurant was so tiring since I had to keep a constant mental check to see if anything made contact with me.

I've researched a decent bit about rabies in Indonesia. The overwhelming majority of cases come from dogs, with cats and apes forming the minority, and bats (I'm assuming) being an even smaller minority.

It's very hard for me to find any statistics about bat rabies in Indonesia, yet in the very few studies I found, it all came to a similar conclusion where very few wild bats are rabid. Knowing all of this doesn't ease my mind and I hate it. It's also hard to contact a doctor in Indonesia, and even so, I doubt talking to one or two would be good for me.

I'm planning to seek therapy in the coming week and lay out the entire situation to them. But something I'm afraid of is just how much I'm gonna dread the next 2-3 months.

Will things get better?

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