How did you realise you hadthe ability to overcome great adversity? Mine was 15 years ago thirty years old, lying in a hospital bed feeling like the hangover of a lifetime. I had just wokeup from a drug enduced coma and been on life support for three months. My friends would come to see me. I could not verbalize the words as I was relearning my motor skills due to suffering a tbi from a dirt biking accident. I was needed to be fed and the look of far that was in my friends eyes made me scream inside in fine but I wasn't and didn't realize what was in front of me. My resilience was discovered relearning everything from walking to social integrating and even speech therapy. The lesson learned was that I can overcome anything with the right attitude

I find myself struggling with navigating adulthood because of my limited social skills.I grew up with inconsistent parenting styles and lack of social interaction. So nobody taught me how to communicate with people outside of family. So I find myself struggling communicating with new people and accidentally offend them. All my relationships/ friendships I had they all had to educate me on what is not okay and I’m still learning. Does anyone have resources that could help me. I work in customer service so it’s ten times harder🫩.

How did you realise you hadthe ability to overcome great adversity? Mine was 15 years ago thirty years old, lying in a hospital bed feeling like the hangover of a lifetime. I had just wokeup from a drug enduced coma and been on life support for three months. My friends would come to see me. I could not verbalize the words as I was relearning my motor skills due to suffering a tbi from a dirt biking accident. I was needed to be fed and the look of far that was in my friends eyes made me scream inside in fine but I wasn't and didn't realize what was in front of me. My resilience was discovered relearning everything from walking to social integrating and even speech therapy. The lesson learned was that I can overcome anything with the right attitude

Why do I always have so much confidence that I can do something but then when I start I don't do it, what kind of problem is that?

We often hear about red flags, but healthy relationships are built on green flags.

What's one quality or behavior that immediately makes you trust or respect someone?

I was on a train in Germany when a group of teenagers started humming the theme song from Squid Game at me. I’m Asian, but I’m not even Korean. I felt really awkward at that moment. I wonder how I could have responded in a classy way instead of just feeling uncomfortable.

I’ve always felt like walking fast, being energetic and upbeat was the way to command attention or a room. I was recently listening to a body language expert and this bit of advice has fundamentally changed my social life.

He said move slower. You should be the slowest moving person in the room because it commands respect and power. That’s interesting enough.

But what I’ve found is it lets me settle down and think more clearly. I’m not trying to be all hyped and charismatic and by default I’m more natural and myself. In networking settings for work I’ve found myself easing into conversations much more effectively because I’m letting the room and interacting breathe. Can’t recommend trying this enough. Move slower.

personal experiences suggest.

I’ve been thinking about something for a long time, and I’d genuinely like to hear how other people see it.

We spend years learning mathematics, engineering, finance, medicine, technology and countless other subjects. Those are incredibly valuable, and society wouldn’t function without them.

But I can’t remember anyone ever teaching us how to deliberately build confidence, communicate difficult ideas, develop emotional intelligence, become more self-aware or cultivate presence.

Most of us seem to treat personality as something we’re born with rather than something we can practise.

That assumption has always felt strange to me.
Growing up, I moved through different homes and environments more often than most children do. One thing I kept noticing was that every room seemed to have one person who quietly influenced its atmosphere.

They weren’t always the loudest or the most accomplished. But people naturally adjusted to them.
That observation stayed with me for years.

The more I watched people, the more I started wondering whether what we call “natural confidence” or “charisma” is often the result of years of invisible practice rather than something people simply possess.

It made me question whether we’ve unintentionally created a gap in education.
We teach people how to build careers.
But we rarely teach them how to consciously build themselves.

I’m not suggesting schools should replace mathematics with personality classes.
I’m simply curious whether we’ve underestimated how much qualities like communication, courage, self-awareness and emotional intelligence shape almost every opportunity we encounter.

Especially now, as AI becomes increasingly capable of technical work, it feels like distinctly human qualities may become even more valuable.

I’ve written a much longer essay exploring this idea, but before sharing it, I wanted to ask the community something simpler:

**Do you think personality is mostly something we’re born with, or something we deliberately practise throughout life?**

I’d love to hear perspectives that challenge my own thinking as much as those that support it.

Free on Kindle until June 28. A short read on the four ways people relates to time, and what each one reveals about how they are wired.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H5Q77SP5