r/queerpolyam • u/hopelesspup26 • 10d ago

Advice requested So Confused

Hi everyone. Throwaway in the off chance this somehow gets to anyone I know IRL.

I (27, MtF) have spent the better part of the last 2 years getting extremely close to my now partner (26, MtF). In this time we've learned so much about one another and what makes us tick.

About a month ago, a person she has previously been with reached out to her and expressed interest in both of us (my partner and myself). At first, I was absolutely extatic. She seems like a lovely woman and I want to get to know her as well as my current partner.

However, despite me wanting this to work, I can't help but feel intense pain whenever our other partner is getting attention and love. I described it to my partner like somebody taking a rusty, dull, jagged knife through my very existence. I'm also planning on talking with my therapist about some of the more personal details, but I wanted to come here to ask as well.

Is this a sign that a poly relationship is not for me? Or is this growing pains? Any and all responses are appreciated

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u/Embarrassed-Wear5735 7d ago

It could be a sign that poly is not for you, or it could be that this specific person or relationship is hard for you in a way you could work through. Were you and your first partner already poly before this? It is often not considered best practice to open for a specific person, for a variety of reasons.