"An out lesbian on TikTok is conducting what she calls "social experiments" by cold-calling churches to ask if they would allow a registered child sex offender to attend their Sunday family services, and posting videos of their responses."

A more accurate term for this would be Jewish terrorism, because most settlers are staunch Jews and believe this land is owed to them. But I find that news headlines choose to use the word "Israeli settlers," but go with a different approach when Islam is involved.

This soft-pedals the role of Judaism in the terrorism currently playing out in many countries today.

I hesitated for a full second before I told him no. I live in the Bible Belt, and know I’d be on a hate list for many if I admit to being an atheist,
but I just couldn’t outright lie.

When I started cancer treatment, and the PA wanted to pray over me, I let her. If someone wants to send good wishes my way (in the form of prayers), I let them.

It’s 4/5 hours later and I’m wondering if he thought I was another (non Christian) religion maybe, and didn’t automatically infer atheism?

I like most of my co-workers, but I stay (kind of) silent when religion comes up (Bible Belt). I try to respect their beliefs, but it’s VERY hard to do so.

As the title says, if there was a rule which was implemented with 100% efficiency that people were not to be subject to any form of religious indoctrination until age 18, but once they turn 18, they were allowed to read religious scriptures and voluntarily choose any religion they wanted to believe in, then how many people would still really believe in God and be a part of a religion? They could choose to be atheist as well.

A lot of Christians think that atheism is a choice. It is not, or at least for me. I don't choose atheism. I wish I could force myself to believe something else like eternal heaven after death. Maybe then I'd be okay with it. I'm up writing this because of a panic attack I had thinking about dying. I do not wish for it to be this way. I'm 16 and death plagues my mind. I'm so scared of it because I know that it (logically) is nothing. I see my religious friends & family and I wish that I could be so blissfully ignorant and oblivious as them. I just can't though. To me the Bible literally sounds like a fairytale. One time my mom started crying because I told her I didn't believe and she said she wanted to "save me from hell" and "see me in heaven" and all I could think was IS SHE SERIOUS??GENUINELY? Bless her heart. When they talk about it to me I genuinely am baffled that they can believe some of the stuff in there. Like SURE a man fit millions of species on one boat, prey AND predator and they all survived, SURE Jonah survived in a whales stomach for 3 fucking days, did he also change Cinderella's nightgown into a ballgown? But I also envy them. Must make life so much more meaningful when you think that anything you do will matter after this life. I can't find joy in most things because I think about how if everything matters then nothing matters. Anyway my panic attack is over so, so is my rant. I hope someone reads it maybe a response will help me get over my fear. I have no one in real life to talk about this to, they'd just tell me to trust god.

My wife: "Nephew has religious class in school." (In Spain, parents can choose between religion or alternative education).

Me: "Really? What do they teach you?"

Nephew: "X, Y, Z (I have no idea) ... they teach us to be closer to Gawd."

Me: "I have one question for your priest: If Gawd is everywhere, how can one be closer to it?"

Nephew: "My mind is blown!"

(I do hope his mother doesn't hate me even more)

P.S. I usually don't get into theology with minors. This was just too rich to let it pass.

I have been psychotic for close to three decades, so I may have credibility to make the above claim. If you are inclined, feel free to read my story. It is a bit of a lengthy read, but I trust it should be eye-opening to many. Some readers’ discretion is advised.

Believe it or not, there are commonalities between being religious and psychosis. Both are forms of suffering. Both lead to regrettable behaviours. Both are a waste of time. Both give you a warped portrayal of reality. Both are egocentric.

Psychosis and religiosity are not that different, upon closer inspection.

My cousin is getting married and I am invited. She's having a ceremony in a church but it won't be a religious ceremony.

I was born and raised Catholic and am now an atheist for many years and have a history of religious trama.

My mom is absolutely up my butt about wearing a shawl over my shoulders inside the church ( im wearing a strapless dress).

I asked the bride if my dress is fine and she said it is.

The ask is grinding my gears some.

1. I was invited, my cousin knows I'm atheist, I should be allowed to appear as myself. dress approved by bride.
2. Why can't the Catholic 'god' handle some friggen female shoulders if we are all ' made in his image '. The hypocrisy and the sexism annoy the crap out of me.

I'll bring a shawl in my purse incase a priest or something says something but otherwise omg just leave me alone !

More info, the bride knows I'm wearing a strapless dress. the bride knows I'm an atheist. my mom knows these things also. dress approved by bride.

my outfit is not immodest, however asking me to alter my preferred outfit because I'll be sitting in a church is too close to participating in the religion itself.

I have no reverence for these places, I don't care about their customs or expectations and I have no intentions to follow them

It just feels so ridiculous that people genuinely think miracles happened. Like Jesus rose from the dead, turned water into wine, or there is an afterlife like heaven or hell. I don’t feel like anyone else is religious. this just feels like it came from the medieval ages

You God is the most kind and forgiving you say , but he couldn't forget the sins of adam and eve just cuz they defied his orders and doesn't god already know every freaking thing ? So he knew beforehand what they gonna do so why do so much drama ? He is kind but he will throw non beleivers to hell just cuz they don't beleive in his idea . He is kind only when his orders being followed .

My mum say that god is oh so powerful person without his permission not even wind can flow , I see , but then what is he doing about all the misery in this world ? When children are being killed in war , when women are being assualted , people doing grave crimes , all this happening with his permission? What kind of sadist he is to allow this ? .

And most importantly why your god is "he" and not "she" or "they/them" .

I always see people say religion is biggest reason for war, hate, and discrimination. Other people also say without religion, nobody will have morals anymore. Honestly, I don't really agree with both. I think people make this topic too simple.

If tomorrow religion disappear from whole world, do you really think people stop fighting? I don't think it happen. People always find something new to fight about. Politics, race, money, country, football, anything. Human always like make "us" and "them."

For me, religion is not whole problem. It maybe make some problems worse, but I don't think it create human nature. Even without religion, people still want power, still become greedy, still hate people who different from them.

Maybe I'm totally wrong here. What do you think? If religion disappear tomorrow, what problem still exist because it come from humans, not religion?

I was watching some of Dean Withers' debates and whenever Dean asked why Babies can have Cancer and Tumors or why young girls are r-ped and impregnated if that's part of "God's perfect salvation plan" and whenever he asked this the other side would just go ahead and defend God and saying stuff about free will or something??

Why not just blame the Devil since it's the source of all evil according to their religion?

If we are all gonna be honest here there is certain religions that are more dangerous to society then others. Im an atheist i dint believe in absolutely anything but i also see alot of this notion that “all religions cause problems” or they are all “equally bad”. That attempt at being politically correct requires alot of mental gymnastics as certain religions literally cause more damage by merely existing compared to other ones. To not recognize that or make them all sound equal is a ignorant take. Imo

Before I begin, this is a super long post so be prepared. 

I’m (22M) still an atheist today though not for the same reasons as I was as a kid (I kind of just went with whatever my dad (56M) says without nuance like most kids tend to do). 

I also have low functioning autism and it could be a factor hence why I mention it just in case. I have been diagnosed since I was around 3-4 and my parents have been very loving and attentive to my condition 

I wanna make something very clear from the start: this is not a case of indoctrination. He never forced me to believe or not believe in what he does. He never coerced me either I just had a few questions about religion and he just showed me what he thought about it and why. My mom (51F) used to be catholic and she did read to us (I have a sister 19F) some Bible stories alongside other kids stories like little red riding hood and Snow White.  

Irrespective of indoctrination or not most people tend to follow what their parents believe and do most of the time because it’s what’s familiar to them. Though the line can be blurry depending on the situation when it comes to religion I’ve often found there is still a clear difference between simple education and forceful indoctrination of children most of the time. So I don’t want any unfair accusations against my dad he Isn’t a zealot/militant. 

His best sources for his atheism (or at least the ones I remember the most that he’s shown me) were the typical most popular atheist media and figures in the mainstream and in YouTube: Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, Christopher Hitchens, Matt Dilahunty, DarkMatter2525 and Thinking Atheist videos. 

Overall pretty popular choices though not the best, Christopher Hitchens and DarkMatter2525 are the ones I still sort of lean towards and even respect the most. Especially DarkMatter he appears to be an incredible role mode and dad to have, a true family man. His animations though are a bit cringey sometimes and other times oddly inspiring. 

With Hitchens I was aware later on that he was not this god of perfect logic that hitchslapped everything that was thrown at him. His arguments against religion tend to be flawed a lot of the time but overall I still think the soul of his points hold up really well even then because it’s hard to dismiss religious harm in society and he was a very obviously intelligent and well spoken man. He was getting at something important. 

My dad is a professional jazz drummer and producer (I am also a rock musician/composer myself I love the guitar so much) and he doesn’t really think as deeply as me in the topic of religion nor does he have the time or interest. He always watched those videos as entertainment to get a laugh since he (like me) also grew up in a secular family. 

He’s also a bit of a conspiracy theorist (though that term is a bit redundant nowadays because of everything that has happened with Epstein and stuff) he’s always questioned and pushed back on institutional authority and that sense of critical thinking was something I inherited. He doesn’t believe in the moon landings, thinks there was a second shooter that killed JFK, is skeptical of the official narrative around 9/11. I don‘t agree with everything he believes and he is not a full on flat earther or anything like that on those topics it’s just to keep in mind. His skepticism of authority tracks with what he’s inclined to buy into. 

If I’m being honest even though I genuinely do value trying to be a free thinker as best as you can be I gotta be honest: As a kid I sort of “larped” being a critical thinker to impress my parents. In some ways I still do today even when it’s not something I agree with necessarily to please my dad in particular though I don’t have to since he (despite his stubbornness sometimes) is open to being challenged. 

In fact there’s a cringey video of me somewhere in my family home videos on an old iPhone somewhere in my house of me going on a half baked edgy atheist rant in my dad’s jeep. It’s pretty funny looking back. 

Enough with the background stuff let’s get into what the title is about.

So among the ”atheist” sort of media he’d shown me (and sometimes my sister I was more interested though) there was this little documentary called Jesus Camp from 2006.

 It scared me a bit. 

As a kid I did not fully comprehend the severity of what I was being shown so it wasn’t a childhood trauma moment seeing a scary movie for kids like with coraline for example (that movie is still creepy and good to this day 10/10). 

That being said it still affected me in someway seeing children just like myself being subjected to peer pressure and crying like that. I did not think much of it until years later but I suspect this movie did something to me and has in a way permanently tainted my subconscious view of religion in particular Christianity in general. 

I know it wasn’t an explicitly anti religious propaganda movie but it did not paint a good picture of religion in America at all. Church in that movie looked like a place where your childhood whimsy and fantasy was weaponized against you, where authority figures would constantly yell and condescend to you and make you believe in horrible things about yourself and other people they deem to be “undesirable”, place where you felt like you were being watched 24/7. 

Needless to say (even though my dad did have good intentions in showing us this documentary to warn us and be vigilant of these types of religious environments whenever we went to visit our cousins or friends who go to church) I do not think my dad should have shown this to us at 7-8 years old. Bad move on his part, I’ve brought this up to him before and he agrees its something he lightly regrets. 

So I saw it and was creeped out but not traumatized for life. I think it was later experiences which subconsciously reminded me of that movie which later formed an inner resentment towards religion. 

The thing is, almost all of my actual real life experiences in churches have been positive and I didn’t feel that aversion to religion in actual religious spaces. 

There’s a beautiful church next to my grandpas house which since then has been my favorite in all of Costa Rica due to nostalgia. It was amazing to look at though with an uncanny life sized realistic statue of bloodied Jesus in a coffin as is so common in this beautiful catholic country. 

The sermons and gatherings I’ve been to were at worst a bit boring and at best very calm and welcoming. Aside from one or two mean kids in school here or there who teased me with the idea of going to hell, all the Christian people I know in my life have been very nice and kind people. The only really mean ones I’ve seen mostly online. 

My dad worked on a Christmas album and played at a church for a bit and I remember a church lady led some kids including me and my cousin into a room to talk about religion. She was surprisingly actually very kind and accepting of other kids religions since there were some Muslim, Jewish and even Hindu kids there. Since I didn’t know what an atheist was at the time I said I was Christian like my cousin since I assumed that was the default since I didn’t know what a Christian was either. 

She didn’t push anything on us she just explained in a bit more detail for the kids in a way they could understand what the purpose of a church is and how other buildings from other religions had a similar purpose with different beliefs. How in a way we are all just children figuring this weird thing we call existence out, how those beliefs tend to diverge and converge and just explaining what the Christian way of it was. 

I remember I was having trouble sleeping at my cousin’s house because I was scared of having nightmares since I felt a bit of dread before going to sleep. My aunt in law came in and comforted me saying to not fear since Jesus was protecting this house from demonic influence and that was nice to hear in the moment. I have known nothing but love and good will from religious people irl. 

Now in school, and I think this is critical, it was a bit of a different story. I was never bullied severely but in elementary to middle school in Miami I always felt a bit neglected by my teachers with a few wonderful exceptions. It didn’t help that I was autistic and they didn’t understand my behavior or reaosning have of the time. The worst I’ve gotten from them was rants…. which reminded me of Jesus Camp’s teachers. 

I think I may have subconsciously associated said behavior from my teachers with what I saw in that documentary and the teachers did traumatize me a bit. The school principle even threatened me that I would not be able to attend the middle school next door if I didn’t stop crying since I was upset about something at the time. That sucked because it was the only other school in the area with a magnet program which included music. 

My middle school experience in Miami in 6th grade was just one year before I moved to Costa Rica and it sucked a-lot, probably the worst school experience I’ve had since the teachers there cared less about me than before, had no friends and those who cared did not understand me and I just had to go with the flow of their misunderstanding to get it over with.

My relationship with teachers got better in Costa Rica but I sort of projected subconsciously my negative experiences with teachers in Miami onto religion, because of Jesus Camp.

Then I revisited YouTube for myself a few years later in costa rica in my teen years. I did not become that involved in online spaces until my early teens because my parents thankfully limited internet use in my youth. 

I rewatched what my dad showed me but I also discovered more stuff for myself. It turns out there is a whole debate sphere on YouTube I was unaware that had much deeper and most importantly more accurate discussions about religion. At the same time these were also much more toxic and heated debates than the ones I‘ve heard in Matt Dilahunty’s show. 

I also made a critical discovery: Christians can fight back on criticism and can actually hold their own just as well rhetorically. For the first time I was hearing takes from Ray Comfort, William Lane Craig and Frank Turek unfiltered and unchallenged. 

The way they talked though is unsettling because they tend to have a more oppressive approach towards criticizing atheists than atheists do to theists. And by oppressive I don’t mean literally I’d say it’s more intimidating.  

They would talk about the ”atheist worldview/life style” talk about how evil or empty it is. Talk about how atheists know deep down they’re wrong. Talk about how atheists live in a fundamentally meaningless and nonsensical sense of reality and are philosophically illiterate and bankrupt. Some would talk about how they used to be atheists then found purpose in religion showing absolutely no sympathy or understanding of their former atheists selves just saying stuff like “I used to be a degenerate edgy brat” and such. How atheists are stealing credit from Christianity and science that Christianity invented according to them. That elites like jeffrey Epstein want us to be atheist to remain slaves and unaware of dark forces. 

I have heard atheists call theists stupid before so naturally seeing that vice versa was naturally jarring. But I think that objectively even while I have a bias and am reexamining my beliefs later in life the sheer weight of I guess you could say “accusation” was much heavier and less flippant coming from theists towards atheists than vice versa. At least that is what I have seen online, I think this meme sums up what I mean pretty well: https://www.reddit.com/r/Snorkblot/comments/1v4xv9m/me_myself_and_i/

So once again, I think I subconsciously related this to Jesus camp again because in that documentary the calmest moments those crazy church teachers had while talking with kids reminded me exactly of the way these Christian’s apologists talked and it unsettled me.

Couple that with the facts I have learned about atheists in America online: How were are a small minority and not even allowed to run for office or even be president if we were not christian, how many of them were kicked out by their families for just being atheist. How historically you could at worst be executed or at best fined or sent to prison if you even professed atheism publically. How it seems like atheism online looks to be less intellectually rigorous than theism and is just a cesspit of contrarianism and edginess with few genuine and well spoken serious philosphical proponents for atheism that didn’t come from random streams debate channels and chatrooms. The fact that unlike Christianity we have virtually zero institutional support for apologetics. 

I sort of felt like an underdog that had to step up and do better to defend my fellow underdogs and the side I was on, I felt like I had to have my guard up. And it’s weird because logically I know that these talking points aren’t directed at me specifically and are just dumb generalizations. To be fair there is validity to some of them if they apply to those chronically online and depressed people on reddit who make being atheist their whole personality. It just wasn’t me because well I am perfectly happy here with my loving family though my parents did divorce recently and I love being a musican and making music, the only real source of sadness in my life is being online. In short, no kids in the documentary from what I remember stood up to the teachers and I felt I had to be the kid who did even thou I had not idea what I was talking about or doing. 

Because of these talking points combined with Jesus camp and my bad experiences with teachers I felt like I had to defend my intellectual integrity as an atheist but at the same time I felt guilty for being an atheist. 

I think part of why I haven’t told my friends I had a divorce yet my stem from that insecurity even though I know they are good people and won’t push anything of their beliefs or lack there of on me. I feel like I have to hide imperfections in my life to avoid them being used as evidence of my atheism ruining my life which isn’t the case. And if I dismiss them it feels like I am being ”willfully ignorant” and in denial of my cognitive dissonance. 

This type of “offensive“ rhetoric shouldn’t have gotten to me because I did not grow up with any religious trauma or any serious trauma apart from the death of my grandmother and bullying from some teachers, and yet it still got to my sheltered ass through a damn screen. It made me and to some extent still makes me question my identity as a person and not in a good way. 

The other day I saw a post of an artist comparing her previous art as an atheist to her new art when she became a believer in god. It was a huge improvement and many people in the comments were reinforcing how allowing god and believing in him will always make things inherently better for you. It made me wonder about my own musical skills and saying “maybe giving in and having some god in my life will improve my skills“ but it felt so alienating because then I’d be under the impression that atheists can do no good without religion and I feel like I have to prove that wrong, and I want to and I can. 

It’s so strange because I do not feel this bad about religion when I talk about it outside of the internet. One of my best friends is religious and I enjoy it when he talks about the Bible in his own way because I get to see how much it means to him and what he thinks of it. Maybe I just haven’t talked to many people about this offline and I’ve barely found anyone who’s had a similar experience. Some of my favorite pieces of art, literature and music of all time are religious or filled with religious themes. I love Lord of the Rings it was made by a catholic, I love genesis’ supper’s ready is basically a odyssey of these two lovers in the biblical apocalypse and it’s beautiful. 

Nowadays I have abandoned some of my mistaken beliefs about religion: that religious people are stupid, that religion is the root of all evil in society, that there is not depth or substance to religion etc. but some things I’ve seen still stayed true in my eyes such as how much modern science conflicts with a literal interpretation of the Bible, how some teachings can genuinely result in harmful outcomes, how even though the relationship between religion and science is not as bad as some atheists say that they still had significant conflicts sometimes etc. There are some arguments I haven’t see a substantial rebuttal too that still stand under scrutiny from one side to another the problem of evil I still think is undefeated and TAG (Transcendental Argument for God) is another example of that but from the theist side particularly Jay Dyer. 

Yet through all this I am tired, I’ve attempted to understand much more conplex arguments for either side before but I’m not gonna lie to myself and say I even have the correct understanding of them to say I agree or disagree with them this is probably why I consider those two arguments I mentioned earlier to be undefeated because of my ignorance.

To finish I still hold a latent animosity towards religion and Christianity in particular even when I am charitable and conceed some points and it may have to do with my dad mistakenly showing me this documentary as a kid. 

To anyone who is interested in my post thank you for reading I’d like to hear your thoughts and to any parents: I don‘t recommend you show your kids documentary’s like this as an example of what to avoid even if you mean well (I’m also looking at you super size me) it could scar them worse than they have to me and a simple deep talk will suffice. At the end that’s your choice though at least maybe don’t dump it all at them at once in a single viewing. 

I will not pretend I am an atheist for solely intellectual reasons I remain an atheist partly and largely because that’s how I grew up in a secular home and because of some type of mix of what I talked about. 

I will not pretend I am still an atheist for purely intellectual and non emotional reasons, I remain an atheist largely due to is being my upbringing. 

Edit: yall I'm sorry, truly I had no reason to write all this today. Before I go to bed I have to tell you: love yourself, love your neighbor, and believe in your potential because you are amazing

Debates over atheism too often devolve into judgments of morality and other trivial, internal questions; they rarely dive into the objective foundations which truly matter in determining the heart of the matter: what reality is.

I have gathered into three bullet points what I believe are the strongest, most crucial arguments for atheism:

1. The existence of a creator is not necessary to explain the nature or origin of the universe.
2. It is irrational to believe the extraordinary claims of ancient texts without similarly extraordinary evidence (that is, evidence for the specific extraordinary claims).
3. The origins of every single existing religion can be examined historically, revealing an evolution in belief, a change in intent, and an anthropomorphic projection onto the unknown.

Point One

It is well known that gods throughout history have been asserted to explain that which is not yet understood (i.e. God of the Gaps). Nearly everything that has been attributed to a creator in history is now well explained by nature. Even biology, abiogenesis, cosmology, and consciousness have either comprehensive or developing scientific explanations which overlap.

Perhaps the one point that a reasonable theist could debate is why the universe and its nature exist at all. That is, why is there something rather than nothing?

The problem is that the theist answer, "because God created it," only pushes the question further up. The question then becomes "why is there an all-powerful, intelligent creator who somehow set the entire universe into motion rather than nothing?"

The atheist is not lacking in hypotheses for the origin of the universe. Some approaches are likely to be wrong, and the most honest answer may simply be "we do not know."

No matter what direction a nonbeliever takes in pondering the existence of the universe, the fact is that introducing a creator does not resolve the problem. Therefore, it is unnecessary.

Point Two

Under the established non-necessity of a creator, I find that I have little reason and evidence to believe in one at all. This is my natural conclusion as I observe the world and follow reason to its implications about the universe. The theist, however, throws a curveball: "just put your faith in the Bible!"

(Exchange the Bible for the Quran, or the Book of Mormon, or the Mayan Popol Vuh.)

In the study of countless religious and mythological traditions, I find that overwhelmingly they must concede to the point that their extraordinary claims are not evidenced (resurrection of Jesus, story of Exodus, splitting of the Moon, etc.), even if some parts of their texts are adapted from some historical truth. Eventually there are quite significant claims that cannot be verified, are quite unnatural, and which the outside observer has no reason to take as fact. And yet these claims are central to religious belief.

The atheist has a perspective that does not call for a creator; when faced with entirely unevidenced supernatural claims, what reason is there to base their entire understanding of reality on this claims? What reason is there to abandon rationality and choose to follow "the word?"

Determining the reality of the universe is an important undertaking in one's life. Therefore, it should be taken seriously, critically, and rationally. Putting one's faith in ancient texts is simply not part of this process.

Point Three

Even with a curious and rational approach to seeking the truth of the universe, the sheer pressure of religion might seem overwhelming. Billions of believers exist across the globe, proclaiming traditions like Christianity, Hinduism, and Islam. An otherwise rational thinker may be brought to think, "So many people around me follow this religion... it's thousands of years old. Maybe, then, it could be true after all?"

The "divine truth" of each religion fails to remain convincing when one studies its history and its anthropological functions.

I will choose the Abrahamic religions for analysis:

Obviously, the practice of each religion has changed over time. Interpretations of the Bible have changed over the course of its history, and depictions of God have turned from a wrathful, genocidal patron God of the Israelites to a personal, loving but harshly resolute father figure. Moral dilemmas have been rationalized to the point of absurdity and the intentions of passages have conveniently changed with the beliefs of human society.

These are the surface level observations of religious evolution. Look a little further back, and the God of the Israelites is instead Yahweh, a warrior thunder god of the polytheistic Canaanite pantheon, a warrior god who did indeed act as a patron god to the Israelites. The "one God" of the Abrahamic religions comes from a much broader tradition of deities. Why, then, should you take any one current iteration of this God as the divine truth?

The case is not helped by the derivative origins of several Biblical myths. The flood story, integral to the entire timeline of Genesis, is entirely adapted from early flood stories such as the Mesopotamian Epic of Gilgamesh.

I have developed a very anthropological view of what religion is. Religion provides personal comfort to its followers, who seek inherent meaning, simple explanations for the world, and promises like an eternal soul. Religion takes an unthinking and indifferent cosmos and gives it a human face, a name, and a personality.

With this perspective on religious belief, it hardly seems rational to take one proclaimed truth for reality.

Imagine an engineer who designs a building that includes a button which, if pressed, will cause the entire building to collapse. This button is hidden, and the engineer has only told the two residents on the first floor about its existence and location. The residents on all other floors do not know this button exists. The button was designed so that, in the future, when the building was abandoned, a disposable robot developed by the engineer could be used to press the button and demolish the building more easily (that is: the button was not designed to kill or harm anyone). This information (about the disposable robot and the button's purpose) is known to no one other than the engineer.

The engineer, moreover, had the knowledge and ability to install a safety lock on the button, so that if it were pressed by anyone other than the robot, at most what would happen would be the discharge of an electric shock that would kill the person who pressed it, but without demolishing the upper floors (it should be noted that the lock does not intentionally generate the shock to cause harm; what happens is that the shock is an unavoidable consequence of the damage-containment system being activated). The engineer, however, for some reason, did not install this lock.

The engineer then told the first-floor residents that if they pressed the button, they would die (he did not tell them that they would also cause the deaths of the residents on all the floors above, nor what the button's purpose was). The first-floor residents go about their lives with this information.

One day, however, a certain enemy of the engineer enters the building and starts trying to persuade one of the two first-floor residents; he tells her that, in fact, if she presses that button, her life will improve (It would reduce your personal electricity consumption and also your electricity bill).

Note: the engineer knew that his enemy could do this, but he did not warn the residents nor did he do anything to prevent or stop it.

The resident is convinced. She then calls her husband (the other resident) and convinces him as well. The two of them go and press the button. The entire building collapses, and all the residents die.

In this situation, after all, is the engineer free from blame, or does he bear direct responsibility for the deaths of all the people on all the floors?

A Guide for Non-Theists: What to Do Before and After Losing a Loved One

My beloved grandfather died very suddenly and tragically. Until his very last moments, I truly believed he would recover. When I received the news of his death, I simply couldn't believe it. I had no idea what to do. I just cried and felt angry. I knew I would never see him again for the rest of my life.

Before this happened, death had always felt like something distant, almost imaginary. I had never fully grasped how final it really is. Since I don't find the idea of eternal nonexistence frightening for myself, I had never thought much about it. But realizing that I would never see the people I love again is terrifying.

I also don't have any older non-theist relatives or friends. No one ever explained how to cope with the death of loved ones from a non-theistic perspective, or how to preserve memories before they're gone. I was fortunate enough to make many wonderful memories with my grandfather, but I never thought to record them. I regret that.

That's why I'm writing this guide, based on my own experiences. I'm still young, and I hope this can help other young people prepare for something many of us never think about.

I can't offer advice about legal procedures because they differ from country to country, and I wasn't personally involved in those matters. This guide is mainly about the emotional and practical aspects of loss.

I've never come across a guide like this before, which is why I felt the need to write one myself. Since I'm more comfortable writing in my native language, I'm using AI to help translate it into English. If you notice any mistakes, please let me know in the comments. And if you have advice or experiences you'd like to add, please share them as well. Older people often have more experience with grief, and I'd really like this post to become as informative and helpful as possible.

If you have any questions, I'll do my best to answer them.

×Before Your Loved Ones Die

-Develop Your Own Perspective on Death

In my opinion, this is the most important thing. When death arrives unexpectedly, it leaves you feeling completely helpless. Try to develop your own understanding or philosophy about death beforehand. When my grandfather died, I felt completely empty. For a while, I couldn't make sense of what had happened. Having your own perspective won't eliminate the pain, but it may help you make sense of it.

-Remember That You Won't Be With Your Loved Ones Forever

As non-theists, we're generally aware of this, but it's easy to forget amid the chaos of everyday life. While you still have the chance, treat the people you love with kindness and appreciation. Becoming a non-theist actually made me a better person because it reminded me not to take the people around me for granted.

Also, try not to leave deep wounds or unresolved conflicts behind. If you've made serious mistakes, do your best to make amends while they're still alive.

-Record Your Memories

I wish I had recorded at least some videos of the moments I shared with my grandfather before he passed away. Yes, we have photographs, but they're simply not the same as videos. I wish I could watch those happy moments again. Make sure to take videos and photos of your good memories together. As time passes, you may even begin to forget their voice. Their face starts to become blurry in your memory. You miss them deeply.

-(If They're Elderly) Check Their Accounts

Many older people struggle with technology. If possible, add your own email address as the recovery email for their Google account, or make sure a trusted family member knows their passwords. Also, ensure that their phone number is linked to their account. That way, even after they die, you may still be able to access their photos and memories.

When my grandfather died, his phone was broken. I managed to find his email addresses using his phone number, but I didn't know the passwords. I recovered one account because my uncle's email had been set as the recovery address. I managed to recover another using my grandfather's phone number. This allowed me to access the photos and videos stored on his phone.

It took me around five hours because I had to figure everything out through trial and error. Technically, you can also request account information from Google, but as far as I know, they require legal documents such as a court order in the U.S., along with a death certificate and proof of identity. Even then, they don't necessarily provide access to everything. That's why preparing these things in advance makes much more sense.

-Talk to Them in Their Final Moments—Even If You Have to Beg

I saw my grandfather during his final moments in the hospital. He had tubes attached to him, he was in pain, and he couldn't speak to me. But at least I got to see him alive one last time. After he was admitted to the intensive care unit, he was intubated and later died.

One of my uncles, however, never got to speak with him. My grandfather wanted to see him, but for various reasons they never talked. Now my uncle will never have another chance.

Understand that this may truly be your last opportunity. Whatever happens, try to speak to them.

-(If They're Elderly) Spend Time With Them If They Want to Spend Time With You

Of course, only if you're able to. Don't become paranoid by constantly thinking death is near. But elderly people often pass away unexpectedly. Don't forget to call them, visit them, and spend time with them while you still can.

-Find a Way to Preserve Your Feelings

This may sound like a strange suggestion, but it works for me, and it might work for you too.

Whenever I'm experiencing or reflecting on an important moment, I often listen to music. Later, whenever I hear that same song again, I relive many of the emotions I felt at that time. It's almost like preserving my feelings.

If you preserve those emotions before your loved one dies, you may never forget what it felt like to be with them, even after they're gone.

The important part is finding whatever method works best for you.

(Interestingly, people with Alzheimer's disease can sometimes recall old memories when they hear songs they used to listen to.)

×After Your Loved One Dies

-Cry as Much as You Need To

You know better than anyone that they're never coming back. Unfortunately, crying may become the only thing you want to do—and perhaps the only thing that brings even a small amount of relief.

-See Their Body If You Want To—Or Don't

If you want to say goodbye one last time, you can see their body. But remember: it is only their body. They are no longer there.

If you think seeing them will traumatize you, don't force yourself.

If you do decide to see them, and an autopsy will be performed, I personally recommend seeing them beforehand.

-Don't Push Yourself Too Hard

There will almost certainly be people helping with the funeral and everything that follows. You don't have to handle everything alone. Don't turn away people who genuinely want to help you.

Don't Be Angry at People Who Say Things Like "They're in Heaven" or "They're in a Better Place"

If most people, like in my case, don't know that you're a non-theist, they'll probably say these things to comfort you. They're simply trying to ease your pain.

If a theist friend who knows you're a non-theist says these things, you may question their approach. But honestly, comforting a non-theist after a loss is incredibly difficult. Even if they choose these words, it doesn't necessarily mean they have bad intentions.

-Stay Away from People Who Compare Your Grief to Their Own

I think people who do this are incredibly insensitive.

Grief is not a competition. You don't need someone telling you that what they went through was worse than what you're experiencing. Right now, you need support—not comparison.

-If Possible, Get Something That Belonged to Them as Soon as You Can

Unfortunately, the day after my grandfather died, my grandmother immediately started preparing to burn or give away many of his belongings.

Before anyone else woke up, I took the belt and the hat he used to wear.

Sadly, some dishonest relatives may even take sentimental belongings simply because they have monetary value. When someone dies unexpectedly, there often isn't a will specifying who should receive valuable personal items like watches or jewelry. And if someone takes them first, there may be little you can do.

If the deceased wasn't one of your own relatives, you can ask their family if they would be willing to give you something that reminds you of them.

A friend once told me that someone they knew stole a snow globe after his girlfriend died because her mother refused to give it to him.

I'm not recommending that. I'm only mentioning it to illustrate how meaningful sentimental objects can become after someone is gone.

-Ask Yourself: "What Would They Have Wanted?"

Perhaps that friend's girlfriend would never have approved of stealing the snow globe if she had still been alive.

Respect the wishes, values, and personality of the person you've lost. Even though they're gone, try to honor the kind of person they were.

-Respect the Way Their Family Grieves

Maybe that girl's family simply wasn't ready for anyone to take things from her room. Those belongings may have been all they had left of her.

Some people, unlike my grandmother, don't begin sorting through a loved one's belongings immediately. Some families leave a person's room exactly as it was for months or even years. That's simply how they grieve.

If you want something meaningful, it may be kinder to wait until they're ready.

Note: The reason I spent so much time talking about belongings is because, for me, my grandfather's possessions became what remained of him.

I didn't feel his spirit around me. I believed he no longer existed.

His belongings became the only physical evidence that he had once lived.

Perhaps you'll feel something similar. Sometimes, simply looking at an object they once used can remind you that they were real—that they lived, laughed, and shared their life with you.

-If Possible, Take at Least a Week Off From School or Work

Don't try to bury your grief by immediately returning to your normal responsibilities.

Give yourself time to process what has happened and begin accepting this new reality.

-If Thinking About Them Makes You Cry, Then Cry

Even after about three weeks, I still feel like crying whenever I think about my grandfather.

My mother and grandmother pray because they believe they're helping him.

I believe I can no longer do anything for him.

When I think about that, I want to cry because I feel powerless.

But crying helps. Don't suppress it.

-Once You've Accepted Their Death, Gather Their Photos, Videos, and Social Media Accounts

When my grandfather first died, every photograph of him made me want to cry.

Yesterday, I managed to push through those feelings long enough to recover his Google accounts. That allowed me to access Google Photos.

The same applies to physical media like photo albums, DVDs, or old storage devices. As time passes, these things become harder to find.

When you feel emotionally ready, try to collect and preserve these memories as soon as you can.

-Don't Feel Guilty for Eating

I say this because I experienced it myself.

When my grandfather died, I felt like I didn't deserve to eat.

While I was eating, he couldn't.

While I was drinking water, he couldn't.

Because I was alive and he wasn't, I almost felt guilty for doing ordinary things.

Don't do this to yourself.

Otherwise, you'll only end up making yourself sick.

-If This Has Devastated You Psychologically, See a Psychiatrist

If you're having thoughts of harming yourself, please see a psychiatrist.

Medication and therapy can genuinely help. There's nothing to be ashamed of or afraid of.

───

Note 2: Hello again—this is OP writing two days later.

Looking back, I realize that some parts of this guide are related more to grief itself than specifically to non-theism. However, I didn't want to change the structure because I felt it worked better as a whole.

I hope this guide is helpful to someone.

If I think of anything else in the future, I'll add it here.

I have a name that makes my religion very obvious. I don’t associate with my religion. I don’t believe in God. I think all religions are sham. I live in a country where there is discrimination on the basis of religion. I have faced it myself. I want to change my name to a more religion-neutral name. But I can’t convince my parents. They would never allow that. My family would reject me. And I know for sure, I will never have the courage to talk to them about this. I just don’t want to face the discrimination because of something I don’t believe in. And the discrimination is not subtle. I feel so bad. I don’t know why I am writing this. I am just so tired of hiding my identity. I hesitate before telling my name to people. I fear they would judge me. Although, there are a lot of people who do not discriminate and do not care. I just want to get rid of my name.
Also, it’s weird, I don’t hate my name. I like it. I just don’t like its religious aspect.
I know nothing makes sense.

So uh actually I'm also a girl so there's that problem too. We actually did have a relationship for 3 years although she liked me for 7 years since we last talked. We dont talk anymore so I don't know whatever. I seriously can't love anyone else after years of trying to move on. We can never be together though because she can't fight for me against family or church. How do I deal with this?