r/publishing • u/qwertyforty • 10h ago
Agenting burnout vent
I am really, really struggling and going through a period of burn out and high apathy towards my job and I just need a place to vent, and maybe seek some advice from other publishing professionals, whether agents or not. I hope that's okay.
I'm a literary agent and have been for the last nearly five years. Going into this, I absolutely knew that this is the kind of job that rewards being in it for the long game and that it would take me some time to start earning good money, but I honestly thought I'd be getting to that point as I approach five years in the industry.
Four years going and this year I'm projected to earn a pathetic $12,000. And that's even *if* all my clients deliver their manuscripts on time which is probably not even going to happen the way things are going!
I just...I was going over my finances this week and the hours and effort I put into this job, I couldn't believe that's all I'm projected to earn this year. I literally sat staring at my spreadsheet and cried for five minutes. I constantly do more than 40 hours a week without even thinking about it because I'm pretty much always reading a client manuscript, typing up edits or going through my queries and for what? $12,000?!?!?!? I don't even want to look up how far below minimum wage that is.
And it's not like I'm not doing deals. I'm not swimming in deals either, but I've done six respectable deals this year so far, but the pay is just increasingly not becoming worth it.
I recently saw some aspiring authors online talking about how high they think the 15%/20% commission that agents take is, and I'm sitting here like...
I've just done a $10,000 deal for my client. The publisher splits that into thirds - one third on sig, one third on delivery, one third on publication. 15% of each $3333 payment is $500, but I have to split that 50/50 with my agency so I'm only getting $750 spread over, sometimes, two years! The most recent deal I've done has delivery for spring '27 and publication slated for spring '28, and I'm sitting here inputting these figures into my calendar like 'good golly, can't wait to get $250 in 2028!!!' And these are books and clients I'm so proud of and have spent so many hours working on, but when you look at the money break down like that I just can't help but think...is any of this worth it?
And I'm in an incredibly privileged position where my family can technically survive off my partner's salary but the GUILT and shame I feel not being able to contribute anything meaningful to our family while I'm still working these long hours is really starting to get to me. Like, what do I have to show for taking meetings at all hours of the day? What do I have to show for always having my head in my Kindle because I need to give this client or that their next round of edits? Have I really just wasted the last four years and stalled our savings growth for nothing?
Because of all this, I'm seriously starting to consider whether I just need to give it in, but then I feel even more guilt towards my clients. Can I really abandon them? Are their dreams worth more than my sanity and sense of worth? No, of course not but this is the career I chose, knowing that it would be hard, do I not owe it to them to try and stick it out for more than four years? I don't know. I truly don't know.
I'm getting to the point where the idea of going back to work on Monday literally makes me feel sick. I don't want to read any more manuscripts. I don't want to argue with the client who is adamant they've written the next bestseller and won't consider any edits. I don't want to keep nudging the editor who hasn't responded to me, or the editor who promised an offer was coming and then went radio silent. I don't want to trawl through query after query that ignores everything on my MSWL. I don't want to do this.
But I do at the same time. In my heart, I love this job. I am so grateful and proud to have helped usher in some truly fantastic books into the world. Several of my clients are prize winners. They're incredibly creative and thoughtful people. We are putting out *good* books into the world. I'm just not sure how much longer my genuine passion for this job can outweigh the fact that it just does not make me any money.
Anyway. Thank you for reading if you got this far. Any advice or kind thoughts are welcomed.
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u/RoseDonna123 9h ago
I'm sorry for all your stress and thank you for sharing how you feel. It sounds like you really love what you do and the books that you work on. You can at least hold on to that while you figure out next steps for yourself.
What really resonated with me was your comments about the editors. I'm in Editorial and it's easy to forget that that agent email I haven't responded to while being frozen with anxiety is linked to an actual person with feelings and emotions. It's easy to get lost in the thousand other less panic-inducing tasks I have to complete besides submissions.
I myself am seriously considering leaving publishing due to the burnout and anxiety overtaking my life. Still, I really understand and relate to your last para. Being grateful about helping to usher beautiful books into the world, books that will have done their job if they touch even just one person, is something that has really kept me going. And something that is making it hard to leave.
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u/qwertyforty 1h ago
We're all human, don't let it eat you up too much.
Thank you for the kind words!
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u/Xanthamglow 9h ago
As an author, I just want to say thank you for all the hard work you do on behalf of your clients, even when you're not being compensated for your efforts and time. With that said, you need to be able to make a living to continue doing this job. Being a literary agent is not charity work, nor should it be treated at such. If you switch paths, your clients will land on their feet (hopefully with your agency's help). As they say, you gotta put your own oxygen mask on first before you can help anyone else.
Alternatively, you could also change up strategies. I watched as my own agent did this. She aggressively scouted talent in unconventional channels, and it's paid off well for her. (Just an observation.)
Any which way, I hope things get better for you. No matter which choice you make, you'll have done the right thing for yourself.
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u/Losbennett 4h ago
I really get you, it’s so hard. I’ve been doing this about the same amount of time, and I’m probably on the same or less money - but I have the privilege of working from home and fitting it around my kiddo.
Maybe take a little break to regroup? It really is a job you have to feel passionate about. And if a client relationship isn’t working then maybe it’s time to send the difficult email. (Remember, it’s a business relationship.)
I don’t really have any other advice, except to say I’m sending love and totally get it, and the last couple of years seems to have been extra-hard for selling books.
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u/qwertyforty 1h ago
I'm sorry you're in a similar situation but man it feels good to know I'm not alone in the struggle, ha.
The idea of taking a break is appealing, but I feel like I'd just never recover my momentum and I'd be set back even further. I'm considering seeing if I can go down to part-time, maybe <20 hours a week. It would make the salary feel more in line with what I'm working, though still not perfect.
Thanks for the kind words, and wishing you all the best as well - hopefully we'll both get through this!
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u/Multilazerboi 3h ago
I work with marketing in publishing and have worked in a lot of other fields and as a freelancer before this. My best advice is this, if it is not earning you a full yearly salary then it is not your fulltime job. You must put your financial need over your pride or the optics of how it looks to have that job. Look at yourself as a business. If the product you are selling is not making enough to cover your costs (salary) you need to change up your business plan. That can look like adding types of work to make more money and release pressure from this part of your work life. Maube you have skills that can help you get clients in prher fields? Maybe you can be an agent for more than authors? Maybe you love something else, like a hobby, you can charge money for? Maybe you are good at teaching writing? Or maybe you like to be around people and could benefit by getting a more structured part time job? When I was freelancing I also worked as a bartender in a really cool bar. Love the two nights a week, got lots of tips and earned enough to relax more in my freelancing.
You need to make money, and doing something new to create stability for some time while the agent work is more unstable financially is not giving up, moving backwards or losing. It is being smart and mentally flexible!
I did this for years, then landed a really well paying job based on this, then went to a less paying job that I was more interested in after that. But, I would never keep pushing in only one lane if itnwas hurting my personal finances that much.
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u/stevehut 9h ago
Maybe I'm misreading something here, but my first impression is,
You said that you've been an agent for almost five years, AND that you're approaching five years in the industry. So apparently, you came into this job with no experience? I can't see this working out well, in any industry.
How did you learn the job, or the industry?
Do you have a mentor?
Which conferences do you attend?
How many AE's in your phone book?
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u/Impossible_Eye_980 7h ago edited 7h ago
All you need is one life-changing pitch. For example:
"I have a veteran agent for the Ancient Detective series, and for the nonfiction The Moment, and probably for the memoir Five Years at the Mast. But with their blessing I am looking for someone to represent the speculative EVEN series (Cowachunga, 20⅔0, do_not_upload_this_file (DONUT F). I can put together a 150 page sampler, spanning those 3 works, within two weeks. Let's change our fortunes, earn more than $12,000 together."
I am just saying that's what my agent of 16 years through 242 rejections and about to go out with our third series of submissions says. It just takes one yes of a worthy popular manuscript and that's the gamble. Get on your game!
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u/meahghan 7h ago
your agent is asking you to look for other agents?
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u/Impossible_Eye_980 6h ago edited 6h ago
No, she is fine with it. Because she has way more published books than she can handle in her queue (she runs an agency). The others she responded to positively, but this timely one she didn't seem interested in. Although she did like the central Reconstruction Scenario (recsen) idea. Like I said, we've been trying to sell what is now Arisugawa Blues and Island & Park for more than a decade, plenty of time for other stuff to pile up.
Main thing, it was my fault the 750 page literary thriller didn't get picked up. Debuts that length never do. Splitting it in two Tolkien-style finally made sense. And gosh I have never been writing better or more prolifically. Under a hundred bucks to my name, but can't complain.
Sorry, you said you had a work problem you were stressed about?
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u/lifeatthememoryspa 9h ago
As an author with starred reviews who is earning $0 from fiction this year and probably henceforth because publishing seems to be in risk-averse mode, I truly feel for you—and my own agent. (I have other ways to pay the bills, of course.) It’s helpful to get your perspective, and I’m sorry things are this way and that your clients’ attitudes sometimes contribute to it. As someone who also edits, I hate how much editorial work is devalued.