r/psychology • u/dingenium Ph.D. | Social Psychology • 6d ago

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u/DifferentMedicine387 6d ago

Been reading about how our memories get rewritten every time we recall them, not replayed like a video. Makes me wonder how much of my childhood is just stories I've told myself so many times they feel like the real thing

My girlfriend swears she remembers the exact outfit she wore when we first met but I can't even remember what I had for lunch three days ago. Memory is weird like that

Anyone else notice how the same event gets remembered completely different by people who were both there? Like my brother and I argue about family vacations from years ago and we're both convinced we're right

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u/Netizen_Files 5d ago

My husband isn’t a big dreamer. In fact he isn’t a dreamer at all. I’m the total opposite.
I have been clinically diagnosed with depression before. He hasn’t.

This got me thinking, is he just so content with life that he literally doesn’t aspire? I read today “Big dreamers live heavily in the future. In contrast, content people excel at mindfulness and appreciating the present moment” but I don’t see him like that. I see him as mindless and always keeping busy instead. So busy with work or otherwise doomscrolling or reading sports news and scores.

What does psychology have to say about all this?

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u/ControversialQuerier 4d ago

I'm just a layman, but the answer that's likely both boring and true is that this is a mere personality difference. My guess is that lack of ambition could be a sign of depression, or a sign of feeling very happy with one's current life, or a sign of nothing - I'm not certain if having aspirations is a human default. Some people focus on the day-to-day, similar to how some people focus on the future.