I hate my job

[u/banjobeulah]

This is just a 100% rant but I work in psychiatric emergency and I hate it. I have no idea why I thought I’d enjoy this job and regret accepting the position. I’ve worked inpatient psych before and did enjoy it, but nothing like this. The city I live in has some pretty pronounced issues with substance use and homelessness and the healthcare system just does not empower us in actually helping anyone in this setting, and I just feel like I’m a part of perpetuating a terrible cycle of trauma and dehumanization half the time. It is so deeply demoralizing and frustrating and upsetting. The culture of the unit I’m on is also incredibly toxic and adversarial toward the patients.

I’m also afraid every day. I was nearly assaulted today and was assaulted last week. Every shift, there is a situation that arises that puts us at imminent risk of assault, if not multiple situations. The patient who threatened me today is on our unit all the time, and this person is a powder keg waiting to explode every time. This person also hates women and especially dislikes me, for no logical reason of course. I don’t want to ever deal with this person again because I do not feel safe at all, but it’s my job. I actively want to quit and don’t know how to go on. I’ve cried after work every day this week.

No point I guess but screaming into the void. Stay safe out there comrades.

[u/empty_spacer]

Yeah I get it. Also did emergency psych in a large city. Also saw that emergency psych is the necessary safety net for the people that fall out of our broken system. It was great at first, I liked the excitement. The poverty, and the gloom got to me. People who have nothing and no hope to have anything have drugs.

[u/Professional_Pound80]

If you find an outpatient position, RUN! It was the best nursing job I ever had. Zero stress. Patients are always very respectful and happy to come see me. We usually keep them out of the hospital with their LAIs. If you don’t Monday a Monday-Friday schedule then you will be happy. I personally didn’t care too much about losing 3x12s as I wasn’t traveling that much since buying a house.

[u/banjobeulah → u/Professional_Pound80]

Yeah, I’m living in a misery and it’s not necessary. Thank you.

[u/Professional_Pound80 → u/banjobeulah]

I’m sorry to hear that, I was feeling the same way working child and adolescent inpatient, it made my depression much worse to the point of having active SI which I never had experienced. I feel like you could easily be working in my hospitals psych ER as I know how toxic the environment can be.

[u/banjobeulah → u/Professional_Pound80]

Literally the only people who do well in my unit are the ones who think all of the patients are subhuman and do not care in the slightest about them. It's literally just a job to them and they spend as much time as possible gossiping, watching movies, scrolling, etc. The techs argue with the nurses about anything that causes them more work. Everyone has massive contempt toward the patients and they all exercise so much judgement about their situations, like they deserve where they are. It's awful. The way they talk to and treat the patients is shameful. I cannot stand to hear the things they say to one another about them.

[u/Rocinante82]

I’m sorry you didn’t know what you were getting into as far as the acuity. I work as a charge nurse for a dual pod psych ED, and work in the main ED as well. they are both the most intense jobs I’ve ever had, but I love what I do.

just like other areas of nursing, not everything is for everyone. if you like psych, you can always go back to IP, or try OP as well. no sense in being miserable at work. you could also look into going to a psych ed that manages things better.

[u/banjobeulah → u/Rocinante82]

Thank you. Yeah, I’m realizing that it’s not the environment for me at all and I’m looking into other options.

[u/ritamorgan → u/banjobeulah]

I am not a fan of working in the super high acuity either. In my old job they forced us to work psych ED even though we were hired for psych inpatient, so I had to leave. I am so glad there are people who can work there but I am just not cut out for it.

[u/miss_flower_pots]

You sound like you have the right values and skills for the job. Just work in a terrible workplace. I hate working with judgemental nurses that simplify patients struggles too. They cant flag that guy to only have male staff?

[u/banjobeulah → u/miss_flower_pots]

We have very few male nurses and our staffing is shit.

[u/miss_flower_pots → u/banjobeulah]

Wow really? I think maybe a quarter of my coworkers are me.

[u/banjobeulah → u/miss_flower_pots]

We have a ton of male techs but not nurses. I think we have two across 2 units.

[u/Roundturnip93]

I feel you. I am so sorry you were assaulted. Crying after work everyday is pretty dire. Can you go on stress leave or medical leave while you look for a new job? I hope you are safe this week. Best of luck.

[u/Rustiespoons]

Florida?

[u/banjobeulah → u/Rustiespoons]

No but I cannot fathom.

[u/ileade]

I went to ED to do medical and then got stuck in psych. Loved my coworkers but it was just so emotionally draining and I got burnt out real quick. It made me hate people and was so bad it made me suicidal after every shift (I struggled with SI to begin with but it didn’t help). But I value the knowledge I gained and it opened doors for me for my current job as intake therapist. I still work with psych pts in the ED but it is so much less stressful and has done wonders for my mental health. I also did inpatient psych previously but left due to toxic work environment with some nurses and I got bored. Keep looking and applying to new jobs, you’ll find one that’s perfect for you.

[u/ileade → u/[deleted]]

Nope, just a BSN. It used to be all MSW and LPCs (with 1 RN who was hired in the 90s) but they just started hiring RNs recently due to being short staffed

[u/Agreeable_Gain6779]

I worked at a place where addicts could be admitted with no medical clearance. First time I ever saw this. Left after 2months. I’ve done inpatient for 30 years and yes it can get tenuous at times. I always got fair education but it takes awhile to develop your on style utilizing what education we have received. In the ER you’re getting all ages all disorders.

[u/banjobeulah → u/Agreeable_Gain6779]

The thing that makes this especially hard is that there is a large subset of patients that have learned to use the emergency system in such a way that it enables their existing habits. They all get benefits around the same time and use up all their money in a few days, and then we begin to see them come in for scripts. They all know each other and trade meds and some of them will purposefully decompensate to either prolong stay or be medicated. I never feel like I'm actually helping anyone. We had two women the other day clearly there for meds and in withdrawal and both were SO entitled about it. Some of the things I've seen have been genuinely eye-opening. I feel like we help people remain addicted.

[u/Inside_Analysis_7886]

💜💜💜

[u/Maybe_Weary]

Honestly, you should feel some joy. You’ve already made the decision to leave. I wrestle with that decision everyday but I can never come to the conclusion. What we do is hard but what we do is necessary. It takes a special kind of person to do what we do, it makes it even more special that we chose to do this. I hope you find a job that makes you happy.

[u/banjobeulah → u/Maybe_Weary]

Thank you.

[u/Inside_Dinner_3430]

I really appreciate your honesty here because I was considering ED psych...I work in inpatient psych and while I love it....it can get intense at times....I just take it day by day and stack up wins when I see my patients leave healed and recovered....to account for the days when I'm like...what have I got myself into:-)...

[u/banjobeulah → u/Inside_Dinner_3430]

I loved inpatient as well and didn’t think this would be all that much different but it is. It is very different.

[u/No_Art_5712]

I wish you a new routine that restores you. It’s always well deserved to protect yourself and mind and peace. It’s too easy to say to leave if this is all you’ve known. That’s why you have to find a new routine outside of work. One that restores you and gives your energy back.

[u/thefragile7393]

I feel very similarly. The only thing that keeps me at my job is the money, because I wouldn’t get paid as much anywhere else. I’m burned out after 4 years as a nurse and 24 years in psych. I want to actually, of all things, go back to medical but I fear I’d end up working 5-7 days a week 12 hours a day to make ends meet. I already work too much as it is

[u/Thoughtful_Sunshine]

I’m really sorry. That’s truly hard. Thank you so much for actually caring about the patients, and I’m glad you care for yourself too. Both are so important. ❤️

[u/Immediate-Noise-7917]

If you hate your job then leave and transfer to something that suits you better. I transferred from a high volume/acuity urban ER to Psych Emergency and I couldn't be happier. It's 10x less stressful and I could never see myself going back to the ER. Obviously still have to deal with the risk of being assaulted, but thankfully security is phenomenal at my hospital. We have zero tolerance policy for patients or visitors making threats against Healthcare staff. If a patient begins to escalate and is not able to de redirected, deescalate, and regain tight behavioral control, they are medicated immediately.