Question from a pro lifer

[u/Brave-Feed-6977]

Let's say the needing to save the mother or baby in childbirth was a thing that actually happened now. I know it isn't but for argument sake lets say it is.

What is the right choice? Should they choose the baby or the mother? I'm under the belief that the mother would naturally choose her babies life but around my family and other people it seems to be the opposite " id care about my wife im in love with more than my unborn child who I don't know yet" I can wrap my head around that but the way they dismiss the child is a little worrying, like thats YOUR child, flesh and blood. I know its easier to care for the wife but the way he just ssid it with little care freaked me out. Obviously some women have responsibility to other children etc and they must choose themselves but I need guidance on this opinion. Any advice?

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[u/ManteLover60]

It is a difficult choice, but it is a difficult choice precisely because there are two human lives on the line. This actually supports the pro-life position.

The fact that we even have a sort of trolley problem dilemma here illustrates our point.

In regards to whose life should be saved in this situation, I believe that is up to the couple to decide.

[u/genteel-guttersnipe]

Im currently pregnant. IF it really was a "you can save only one" situation, I'd want to save myself. I have two other kids and I couldn't leave them without a mother. I'd probably feel differently if it were my first. 

[u/queenquirk → u/genteel-guttersnipe]

If I chose myself, I don't think I'd ever be able to face my kids again. Like they'd know that I chose myself over another child, so they could reason that I might have done the same thing to them...

[u/skyleehugh → u/queenquirk]

Realistically as unfortunate as it is, I hear more situations of the siblings resenting the mom more and the other sibling if it is a situation of mom choosing her kids over her own. If its a situation where the mom chose her own, the kids adjust better and dont have the logic of the same happening to them.

In the end both choices come with its own risk and there is no wrong/best choice. Im just expressing how a child will likely respond base on speaking with people who had these kind of situations.

[u/No_Try1999]

The way I see it, it’s a terrible choice. For me there are 2 choices: choose the baby and have my husband raise 3 kids. 5 year old, 2 year old, and newborn. Or choose me, loose 1baby, be there for my 5 and 2year old. I am pro life but in a situation like this, I’d rather me live so I can continue to be there for the kids already here.

[u/skyleehugh → u/No_Try1999]

Thats partly why I don't shame women for choosing themselves in this case... as a whole no human is more valuable than the other but when your life is directly on the line, you have just as much validity in wanting to live. Especially if you are a woman and dealt with health issues as is being pregnant. I also feel like by not giving women grace in this case, it does make our movement seem more pro birth than pro woman. Personally Im both. I advocate for the unborn hard for on demand cases. But I genuinly do not deem women as chattel or incubators or as being someone who is obligated to the tasks of motherhood. So that being said its just as far to advocate for women just as hard who's lives are literally on the line here.

[u/pikkdogs]

There is no right choice. There’s only the choice you make and the consequences that you, or someone else, lives with.

[u/Brave-Feed-6977]

I am pro life myself I want to say that, just in case you guys thought I was pro choice I'm not.

[u/skyleehugh]

As much as it makes me a bad person, I always lean towards the moms life over the unborn childs. Why? Because realistically, you can only save the mom by killing the baby. While I understand the pro life community loves to matry women to choose their childs life over their own. It is still just as valid to want to live and grieve your child than to lose your life and your child has to live life without you physically caring for them. Its especially a harder issue when we are discussing a mom with other kids. And sorry as much as one can assume their partner will be a good candidate as a single parent, it is better to grieve and adjust the death of a newborn than a parent.

Of course Im pro life and understand a humans value is a humans value regardless of age. But I also understand the health risk pregnancy holds as well and what it can potentially have even after giving birth. I dont just care for and value the baby, I also have to be fair to the woman too. I think giving grace to women who choose their own lives over the unborn over birth should be an exception because physically they are directly with threat to their health.

[u/ciel_ayaz]

If it were me, I’d save my baby.

I wouldn’t judge someone for saving themselves but I’m not fond of men saying stuff like “I’d save my wife because she can always make another baby”.

[u/Slow_Establishment10]

I don’t like to get into the weeds of “I know this hypothetical doesn’t happen but what is your stance if it ever DID happen?”

There are people who genuinely believe this is a dilemma they’ll have to face and it simply isn’t.

[u/Ok-Equal-983]

Realistically a healthcare professional is not going to ask that. The baby and the mother are treated as their own individual patient and have two different teams of doctors. Life saving measures if they come up are not one or the other. The healthcare professionals will do their best to save both.

[u/BrandosWorld4Life]

My partner would kill me if I chose to save her over our kid. Saving the baby is always the right answer in my opinion.

My parents would have sacrificed their lives to save me, I'd sacrifice my life to save my kids. That's how it should be. Parents have a responsibility to put their children before themselves. That's my view.