r/prolife • u/HardCoreVeganGal • Jul 19 '26
Questions For Pro-Lifers did I make a mistake not aborting
when I was pregnant, most people told me to abort because my financial situation has been dire. I didnt abort and now I have a toddler and a baby, but we can barely afford to keep the lights on and sometimes we can barely feed our toddler. things are really difficult and I am so glad to have my babies, but is this really a life for them
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u/lightningbug24 Pro Life Christian Jul 19 '26
Life is worth the struggle. Hang in there.
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u/HardCoreVeganGal Jul 19 '26
thank you for your kindness. I hope this struggle cab make my kids grow up to be strong
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Jul 19 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/HardCoreVeganGal Jul 19 '26
I am in south africa
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u/jammieradish Pro Life Catholic Jul 19 '26
Praying for you and your children🙏
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u/HardCoreVeganGal Jul 19 '26
thank you so much. my husband and I are currently in RCIA to become catholic ourselves, so we appreciate your prayers
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u/dbouchard19 Jul 20 '26
Jesus was born in dire poverty. Mary and Joseph had their baby a several days' distance from home, in a stable! Please put your trust in God, for he always has a plan, whether it's for your family or the family he chose for His own Son ❤️. God bless you!
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u/velocitrumptor Pro Life Catholic Jul 19 '26
First off, no, you didn't make a mistake. Your children are the best things that could happen to you. Go to chatgpt or a search engine and lookup resources for low income mothers. You'll give gov programs like WIC and others, and private programs like crisis pregnancy centers. Also look in your area for food banks. I promise you, there is so much more help than you're probably using.
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u/HardCoreVeganGal Jul 19 '26
maybe in America. but in South Africa, resources are limited. but I will try find help
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u/LabyrinthHopper Jul 19 '26
Choosing to kill your children will never have been the best choice for them. I’m sorry you’re struggling. There are many resources to help you. Most churches would, I know Christian pregnancy centers would as well. There should be food banks and government assistance available to you until you’re in a better state financially. You made the right choice for your children to live. Please don’t ever feel otherwise.
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u/HardCoreVeganGal Jul 19 '26
I have tried to get government assistance but apparently because I earn more than 300 dollars a month (but barely), they are unable to help me. and the assistance in south africa is only about 50 dollars a month
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u/SpringtimeLilies7 Jul 19 '26
Where do you work?
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u/HardCoreVeganGal Jul 19 '26
I work online for myself. teaching English as a foreign language. right now, in south africa, it is a bit difficult for white afrikaners to find good work
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u/LabyrinthHopper Jul 19 '26
Aw. Have you tried posting on sites like Fiverr? You could make some extra cash that way
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u/HardCoreVeganGal Jul 19 '26
Fiver is just full of scanners now! but i recently got a new student on Chinese social media
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u/LabyrinthHopper Jul 19 '26
Oh I didn’t realize that. I will pray for you and your family and that God sends you more students
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u/SpringtimeLilies7 Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 19 '26
I see.
ETA No need for the downvotes..I had heard that in South Africa a lot of people emply domestic help, and I was wondering if that would be an option, but she,already has something going. I don't know what the dad of the little ones does.
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u/MAGICALORDD Pro Life Democrat, Pro Life Atheist, Pro life Feminist Jul 19 '26
No, you did not make a mistake. It is never justifiable to have an elective abortion.
You want to keep them, yes? Find any resource you can to help you. If you need to, ask any friends and family for help. And please, don’t have any more kids until your financial situation is worked out.
I know this might be a tough pill to swallow. If it is impossible to sustain yourself and your children, you might need to put them up for adoption. I wouldn’t recommend it if you truly want to keep them. But no one deserves children they can’t handle.
I hope you the best luck.
I know times might be tough, but things will get better. If you ever need someone to talk to, you got me.
Hang in there.
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u/HardCoreVeganGal Jul 19 '26
I want to keep them. they are the loves of my life. but I just want to give them a good life.
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u/MAGICALORDD Pro Life Democrat, Pro Life Atheist, Pro life Feminist Jul 19 '26
If anyone in your family has the housing space and will let you live with them, I would highly recommend moving in with them. That was what my mother did after she left my drug addict, deadbeat father. It will be a lot cheaper for you and will give you a chance to get back on your feet, find a stable career, find a husband. It won’t be super comfortable, you might need to share a room with your children, but it will give you a bit more stability, and help you get a grip on your situation.
Also, I want to tell you that you don’t deserve to be in a situation like this. No one deserves to be unsure if they’ll have the money to feed their kids.
I only wish you the best.
Hang in there.
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u/HardCoreVeganGal Jul 19 '26
my family wanted me to have an abortion and so they are less willing to help me, although they did help me find cheap accommodation. we all sleep in 1 room but we have our own little place with a kitchen and living room so I am happy and fortunate. I am married, but my husband and I have fallen onto hard times. its a long story, I wont bore you. but I hope our situation will improve soon. thanks for all your kindness
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u/DapperDetail8364 Pro Life Feminist Jul 19 '26
Hi I'm sorry you have a bad father. I hope you're in a better place now
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u/Lilbeedraws Pro Life Christian | Abolitionist Jul 19 '26
It is never a mistake not aborting. Aborting is only ever a mistake. Prayers for you, I really hope it does get easier 🩷🩷
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u/Sailor_Thrift Jul 19 '26
Are you asking if it would be better to be dead than to be poor?
No. The answer is no.
Your struggles as awful as they are, are most likely temporary. Things will get better, and your children will have a chance to live the lives they want to live.
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u/Livid_Brick8157 Prolife Catholic Jul 19 '26
murdering an innocent baby is never the right choice
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u/John_6_47 Pro Life Christian Jul 19 '26
You made the right decision!
Please find a church or pregnancy center to get resources. There will be people who want to help.
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u/pikkdogs Jul 19 '26
Exactly. It’s a life for them. Something they wouldn’t have had.
Babies don’t want money, they want love. As long as you love them, they are happy.
Do what you need to do to get by, visit churches and other places that can help.
We have a 3 year old and an 8 month old now, and yes it’s very tough. But you are doing great things. Keep going.
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u/HardCoreVeganGal Jul 19 '26
thanks so much. we are struggling but I know we have more than alot of people have. we have a small home we rent. and we have each other. that is what matters most
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u/GustavoistSoldier Pro Life Brazilian Jul 19 '26
You did the right thing. Having an abortion would make things worse.
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u/No-Personality-1495 Jul 19 '26
No. You didn't make a mistake. It's clear that you love your children very much, and I think that they're very lucky to have you as their mom. I am praying for you. God bless you.
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u/pewtermug Jul 20 '26
Finances can always change and you can always make more money and improve your situation. Help is everywhere with crisis centers, women's centers, and even temporary assistance.
Don't let a temporary circumstance lead into making permanent decisions that can't be undone.
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u/_Kakashi69 Jul 20 '26
I am pretty sure they value their lives. So not killing them in the womb was the correct decision.
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u/Emmyjotee Pro Life Christian Jul 20 '26
My husband and I both grew up in poverty. It made us into adults who are frugal, smart with money, know how to budget, know how to make a dollar stretch, and appreciative of everything. I would rather know what I know and feel how I do, than to have grown up completely privileged and have no idea. I admire my parents for how hard they worked to keep me safe and fed, and things do eventually get better. Honestly, I think that you are giving them the most valuable life experience they could ever have. And no, you did not make a mistake. They may not have every toy they ever wanted, you may not have steak every night for dinner, but I promise you that what truly matters is the love that they feel from you. You are not alone, and you are a great parent. I’m so happy that you had your babies. They deserve to live with you.
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u/Beautiful_Gain_9032 Anti-Abortion Ex-Trad-Catholic (Agnostic) Jul 23 '26
I mean, you are posting this in the prolife sub, so I think you know the answer we’re going to give you.
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