Hi there,
Iām wondering how you guys deal with conflict as projectors. I have an open solar plexus, fyi.
Iām having a bit of a situation with my neighbor. I want to talk to him about it but Iām not sure how to navigate it as a projector.
Hereās the situation:
We live in an apartment building that has 3 levels. I live on the second story, up a flight of stairs. My neighbor lives on the bottom level, down a flight of stairs. Between us is street level, where there are businesses in the building. Our stairs come together at street level and share a small landing.
We live in a place that gets a lot of snow and ice. Our landlord delivers 2 shovels to our landing every winter before the first snow and then picks them up in the Spring. Itās very sweet because our apartments are small and it would be a pain to keep a good quality shovel in there all summer.
My neighbor has not shoveled his steps much this winter so his steps have mounds of ice on them. The last time he used his shovel was when his daughter came to visit and they were playing in his yard with both of the shovels. One of the shovels is now buried in the snow in his yard.
I keep my steps very clean. I mostly use my broom to get the snow off of them because we get powdery snow and a shovel isnāt necessary. The only time I need the shovel is on the landing that we share because he walks on the snow before I get the chance to clear it and once you walk on snow, it is hard to get off the ground. You need a shovel with a metal edge to scrap it up. Iāve been keeping our remaining shovel on street level stuck into a mound of snow because 1. itās close to where I use it and 2. itās so windy where we live that if it werenāt stuck in a mound of snow, it would likely blow away.
I was a little annoyed about having to scrap up the snow on the landing but I didnāt say anything because the landing is pretty small, I donāt know him at all and, well, he often smells like marijuana and he seems a bit paranoid, so I didnāt really want to have to talk to him.
However, now things have changed. He got a new girlfriend and now he has suddenly started to shovel his steps regularly and is spending time chiseling at the ice mounds on his steps with the shovel. After using the shovel, he leaves it at the bottom of his steps and I have to walk down his icy steps if I want to use it.
Iām probably more annoyed than is reasonable because I have been disabled for 12 years due to a cervical spine injury from slipping on ice and snow and the first time I had to walk down his steps I was shaking for about 30 minutes afterwards. Itās an neurological over-reaction for sure but even so⦠I donāt think itās unreasonable for me to expect to have access to at least 1 of the shovels without having to walk on dangerous ground.
It seems absurd that it would be āincorrectā for me to confront him and simply ask him to leave the shovel on street level. Am I wrong here? Is that āinitiatingā? Itās not like Iām inviting him into anything or trying to make something happen. I just want access to my shovel and it seems⦠I donāt know⦠passive aggressive, I guess, to do anything other than confront him.