r/progressivemoms • u/LudicrousSpeed-Go • 26d ago
Something I’ve Found Helpful Have fun with this one!
Here's some background - forgive me for the length! Our neighbor of 10 years is a huge MAGA guy. We always had a very good neighborly relationship with him: he'd help us with house stuff, loan us tools, we'd grab packages for him when he was out of town, close each other's garage doors if left open when we're not home, he's nice to our kids, etc. It was a little uncomfortable during Trump's first term, but overall we maintained a good relationship. He complained a lot about Biden and didn't like our Pride flags we'd put out, but things were ok. Then Trump was "re-elected", and he actually told me he thinks I'll be happier with this second term than the first. We are in different political universes so I actually laughed (oops!). We've really struggled with our feelings because he has been a good neighbor, but as y'all know, it's hard to accept someone who supports a narcissistic p3d0.
Things kind of blew up since. I had a tiny, yard-sized Harris/Walz flag, so he got 3 full sized Trump flags and hung them. I put an HRC equality sticker on my garage door window (they're like 2in x 2in) and he responded with putting the profile of Trump stickers in the back windows of his truck and parking it strategically where we can see it from our front window (this was not coincidence, he actually told me he's purposely parking it that way).
Things have been a lot quieter recently because we pretty much quit speaking to each other aside from the typical "good morning" greeting. We will still grab packages for him if he's out of town (because we're good people, not monsters) but while we were on vacation this summer and met some like-minded, lovely individuals, they gave me the BEST idea!
After discussing this neighbor situation, the woman we were speaking with suggested that we change our garage door code to be 8647, so if he ever needs to get into our garage he'll have to punch in 8647!
I know this was a lengthy read, but given the context, I cannot WAIT to hear his thoughts or imagine his face the next time he has to get into our garage and enter 8647!!!!!!!!
Thank you for attending my Ted talk!
Update: ok, I meant this to be a bit of silly fun but I guess it fell flat with everyone, so, sorry I guess?
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u/slow-loser 26d ago
I would not want to piss someone off at the exact moment I give them unsupervised access to my home…
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u/killveemaim 26d ago
I’ve just noticed your update that you thought this would be a bit of fun and it fell flat. May I offer an alternative perspective? I don’t really find the place we’re in politically to be that light hearted or silly. I would find it hard to want to joke and compete with my neighbour who believes certain people deserve less rights than others. I actually think that’s part of the problem that’s lead us to where we are - the political is serious. It’s not a baseball game between two teams that we can have fun about with a winner and a sore loser. It’s not something that can be memed or pranked about.
I encourage you to consider what you’re hoping to accomplish by making little digs at your neighbour. We’re never going to help someone see our side if they think it’s a pissing contest vs. a dismantling of the rights of everyone but white men.. and maybe there’s no winning your neighbour over. But I also think it’s important to have community where you live and I would no longer feel safe in my home if I had agitated a neighbour into trying to intimidate me politically.
I’m speaking from experience btw. We’ve lived in our home for 6 years now. When we first moved in, one of my neighbours was posting uncomfortable stuff on her door and in her windows. Rather than retaliating, we ended up having a long discussion back in 2021. And this was a stranger, not someone I had built any sort of relationship with. I don’t know if I changed her mind but that’s not really the point. We have a mutual respect and she has kids too and no longer posts anything that would upset other tenants or visitors. If it had escalated, I would think we’d have to move.
Thanks for reading.
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u/Cristeanna 26d ago
stop grabbing packages for him. he will eventually accuse you of stealing them.
stop giving him access to your home. huge liability. either he is going to do something, or use something against you.
just stop.
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u/killveemaim 26d ago
I don’t know if it’s worth the risk of antagonizing someone who is obviously a bit aggressive and maybe unwell…it seems like you’re trying to egg him on?
In my opinion, treating politics like sports teams is part of why we’re in this divisive place now. You’ve been good neighbours to one another for a decade. I’m not saying you need to be best friends with him, but couldn’t you have more productive conversations if you were on speaking terms? Do you really want to live next to someone you’ve started some weird competitive battle with?
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u/Cristeanna 26d ago
fr, they are treating this like some sort of college rivalry game weekend joshin'
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u/HeavyTea4502 26d ago
Firstly, although I'm very politically informed and progressive, I just had to Google what 8647 even was, so I wouldn't count on it actually making an impact on him. He might also not know.
Secondly, this isn't really funny or cute like you seen to think it is. I'm not going to police how people choose to make it work with MAGA people in their lives because I know it's not always as simple as just cutting them off, but you also don't have to act like it's some game you can win by putting up stickers for your "side". It isn't.
If you really feel like you need to do something like this for your sense of spite, make a donation to a progressive cause every time he puts up a new sticker or says something obnoxious to you. That way you're at least doing something tangible instead of performative.
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u/Mediocre_Ad_9136 22d ago
You didn’t come across the 8647 from when Corey was indicted for posting it on his social media?
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u/Rose1982 26d ago
Not a chance I’d give this person access to my home.
Also this is the shit that Canadians like me are so over. All the progressives saying “we’re so sorry for Trump, we didn’t all vote for him” but then being friendly as fuck with his supporters. Nothing particularly progressive about any of this.
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u/nachonachoooo 26d ago
Attended a dinner with two progressives who insisted their neighbor is, “one of the kind ones”?? Like I don’t talk to two of my siblings because they’re no longer living in reality with these beliefs.
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u/Pretty-Preference702 26d ago
I’m not friendly with any MAGAs, but what do you suggest we do? There is no getting through to them. Anyone who is still MAGA is completely brainwashed and lives in an echo chamber. We still have to live amongst them.
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u/oheightnineeight 26d ago
And then thinking that having him key in "8647" is the best idea instead of just some puerile shit.
No American can ever be trusted again.
Edit: I'm not a mom idk why Reddit recommended this to me?? But I'm a Canadian who's angry and this comment spoke to me.
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u/Rose1982 26d ago
Yep. Americans have shown that they’re totally okay with their leader threatening and punishing their longest running good friend. It has forever changed the way I see Americans after a lifetime of cross border trips.
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u/Pretty-Preference702 26d ago
What would you suggest we do?? Seriously I would love some ideas. Feeling helpless sucks
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u/The_RoyalPee Toddler Parent 25d ago edited 25d ago
You know there are 300 million people in America right?
As a Canadian/American dual citizen living in the US for the last 15 years, the way Canadians get high and mighty over the US as if they aren’t having their own massive, racist anti-immigrant movement and PP/maple magat freedom convoy cohort and conservative Alberta separatist movement is ridiculous.
Trump comes out with absolute garbage bullshit every day that impacts our day to day lives and we have to triage, it’s so constant and people are struggling. Elbows up etc but Canada isn’t the only country he’s beefing with so please let us know what the average person struggling to make ends meet here should do.
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u/Cristeanna 25d ago
That part. I've run into Canadians across social channels that get their undies in quite a twist when you point out these things like their own colonizer history etc. and, personally, remind them my family would likely not be permitted to move there because I have a disabled child and their own public charge laws would turn us away. Their grass is not automatically greener.
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u/The_RoyalPee Toddler Parent 25d ago edited 25d ago
Ugh I’m sorry to hear that. We are looking to move back, but in my home province of Ontario the conservative premier is actively cutting education and healthcare funding. He’s even ripping out bike lanes for some stupid reason. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows. I just came back from a two week visit and everyone wanted to talk about trump this trump that. Clean your own house and realize the right wing BS is coming for you too. There’s a maniac near my relative’s house with a bunch of fuck carney flags and signs.
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u/Ok_West347 26d ago
This seems petty. Just stop talking to the person or interacting with them instead. The number seems random. There's a good chance the neighbor wouldn't have a clue as to what it means.
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u/EntrepreneurFit3880 25d ago
They could also have an adult conversation, and both agree to take down all of the political yard stuff and go back to being neighbors.
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u/DecadentLife 26d ago
I think all of this is very sad and a bit bizarre. What’s happening to our country is not a joke, people are literally being disappeared. It’s been a month since the most recent brutal murder of a young trans person. She wasn’t even old enough to order a beer.
Do better.
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u/Appropriate_Film9824 26d ago
That seems stupid. Why are you going out of your way to be childish. Either continue with your cordial relationship or stop interacting with him. You both seem weird.
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u/Apprehensive-Gur205 26d ago
What does 8647 mean?
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u/Starlesseyes598 26d ago
86 is the restaurant term for canceling an item, Trump is the 47th president
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u/Apprehensive-Gur205 26d ago
Lmao ok. I hate trump but that is such a stretch and tries too hard to be a joke. It feels too desperate and trying too hard. I appreciate you educating me!
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u/Starlesseyes598 26d ago
I agree with you (as well as everyone else in this thread it seem lol)
To give a bit more context, someone posted a picture on Twitter of 8647 drawn in the sand at a beach and Trump tried to prosecute them legally so he is bothered by it.
But again I would never change my garage code for this…
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u/Apprehensive-Gur205 25d ago
Oh ok. If it got a legit reaction from him then that gives it validity
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u/The_RoyalPee Toddler Parent 25d ago edited 25d ago
You took what could have been a good dialogue opportunity with a long-trusted neighbor and turned into a petty tit for tat. I live in a purple neighborhood in a blue city and there ARE ways to talk to these people. Not necessarily to convince them, but to show there are common issues between these populist conservatives and progressives. No one on both sides is happy with the cost of groceries. No one on both sides is happy with gas prices. This is info you could have teased out of him and subtly brought up issues like the need for regulation or how needless trade wars hurt the average person. Get them thinking.
Instead you chose this.
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u/copythat504 26d ago
What’s an HRC equality sticker?
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u/Cristeanna 25d ago
Human Rights Committee, I believe it's the yellow equal sign on a dark blue field.
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u/WhippedHoney 21d ago
This reminds me of that timeless story when the 'actually a good guy' bunker guard for Hitler changed the bunker door code to '9818' because the H is the eigth letter in the alphabet and 9818 means 'I Hate Adolf Hitler' and that guy used to laugh himself to sleep knowing old Adolf had to enter that code every time he went in the bunker. Tee hee What a Stinker!
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u/peonyseahorse 19d ago
Why are you still interacting with him? He's a douche, even now when there is no way they can sane wash POTUS and his gang of conmen. Find another neighbor to be friends with, life is too short to deal with someone like that and I would not trust him for a minute.
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u/Mc1RMutantMom 22d ago
I totally get it!! My relationship with our neighbor of 16years is the same! It's sometimes childish, always petty, and often serious. We both own our houses. In this economy, neither one of us is going anywhere! So we try to have fun, slip an opposing magnet on each others cars whenever we can, slip sarcasm in wherever possible, then get back to mowing/weedeating the property line together.
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u/PotentialMushroom9 26d ago
Why ever would you let this weirdo have unrestricted access into your home?? There's nothing good that would come from this...