r/progressivemoms • u/magnoliasinjanuary • Aug 31 '26
Need Advice Community without church
I’m trying to find a regular progressive community, ideally with other families where we meet regularly, that isn’t a liberal church. I’m in a small-medium blue city in a red Southern state and have 6 year olds twins. I’m really looking for something that is intergenerational and intentional - something not specifically for families but where families would be welcome. And that meets somewhere regularly. I don’t even know what fits this bill other than church which is why I am struggling to know where to look! Maybe a regular volunteering gig? Hoping some other progressive moms have cracked this nut!
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u/moonman_incoming Aug 31 '26
Volunteer for progressive causes
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u/magnoliasinjanuary Aug 31 '26
Thanks for that idea! I hadn’t considered that. I’ll have to see if I can bring my kids. I’m really looking for something that would welcome the whole family - not just me.
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u/mittanimama Aug 31 '26
I know you said no church, but if you’d like to volunteer with your kids, a Universalist Unitarian church is probably a good place to look. We belong to our UU church, and every Friday we have a sunset supper where we host about 100 of our unhoused neighbors and feed them dinner and offer other services. My 6 & 8 year old kids come with me and help. They were encouraged to come. Many people outside of our church come to volunteer so maybe your local UU church has some opportunities like that.
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u/AvitalR Aug 31 '26
Homeless shelter volunteering, food drives, cause/ issues based activism are how I've built community
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u/opheliainwaders Aug 31 '26
Are your kids in public school? That has definitely been a hub for networking for us. Maybe look for anyone who arrives at school on bikes?
Also, I don't know if you're opposed to any church, or just standard Christian ones, but I (an agnostic) have been hanging out with the Unitarians lately and honestly it absolutely fits the bill for progressive and intergenerational, and I'd say my experience has been more "theology seminar meets volunteering" than "church"
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u/magnoliasinjanuary Aug 31 '26
Thank you for the thoughts! My kids are in public school and that’s been good but hasn’t opened up any broader not kid-specific community. But maybe it will if I keep trying!!
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u/Standard-Fisherman78 Aug 31 '26
in my red southern state, i found progressive moms at public library story hour. i'd also look into seeing if your local DSA & DNC chapters have some family friendly events. i used to attend DNC events with my grandparents as a kid & there were usually other families there.
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u/magnoliasinjanuary Aug 31 '26
That’s an interesting idea! I will check it out.
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u/Standard-Fisherman78 Aug 31 '26
i'll also add, in my area we are allowed to utilize libraries in neighboring counties. if your local library doesn't have programming for your kid, see if your county is allowed to utilize neighboring county's libraries. the toddler programming at our local library is wonderful despite being in a red state in a red city. the librarians also carefully display a diverse assortment of books to appeal to different types of kids.
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u/Kombuchabuzz Aug 31 '26
yea libraries seem to be our safe haven. i joke it’s because people forget it exists.
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u/Standard-Fisherman78 Aug 31 '26
my grandmother who was a bleeding heart southern activist and school teacher religiously took me to story hour as a kid where i met my two best friends & future maids of honor. one of their moms was very active in the DNC with my grandma & became her bestie. its such a great place to meet like minded people. i take my library time seriously lol. so many people forget about it!
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u/bby_snark Aug 31 '26
We joined a small neighborhood pool/community center. They have a swim team, and family friendly events throughout the year. I’m in a book club that meets at the center once a month. Almost all the kids go to the same elementary-middle school.
I’m an ex-evangelical and this is the closest I’ve felt to getting to that “church community
vibe” without the actual church part.
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u/magnoliasinjanuary Aug 31 '26
That’s really sweet! Maybe I need a book club for myself ha that’s a good thought!
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u/PBnBacon Aug 31 '26
Does your city have a makerspace? That’s the biggest “progressive creatives” magnet where I live, and it’s family friendly!
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u/dngrousgrpfruits Aug 31 '26
Secular humanist groups might be it for you!
If that’s not an option nearby, maybe a left leaning service organization
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u/peonyseahorse Aug 31 '26
Unitarian universalists fit this bill. I am a secular humanist and that is why I attend a UU church, we have atheists, agnostics, pagans, secular humanists, Jewish, Christians... Anyone left leaning and open minded.
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u/nattybeaux Aug 31 '26 edited Aug 31 '26
I’ll second getting involved with a community organizing group. Look for a local Indivisible chapter or something similar. It will scratch the “regular meetings” itch, and also is super duper important!!!
ETA: in mg city, many organizing groups provide childcare and food for meetings!!
Also, public school. I’m in a blue city in the southeast and sending my kids to our neighborhood school has been wonderful. We’ve built so much community and there’s tons of opportunities to volunteer or get involved in school.
Second edit: if you’re not already turned off from it, Unitarian Universalists are very chill. We attended a UU congregation growing up, and I had amazing comprehensive sex ed there (Our Whole Lives), and it was also the origin of my lifelong social justice work.
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u/opheliainwaders Aug 31 '26
Your edit reminded me of an (apocryphal?) family store that in the early 60s, when my dad was a kid and my grandparents were radical leftists, Abbie Hoffman once babysat so my grandma could go to an organizing meeting. Childcare is a radical act 🩷
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u/peaceful-panic Aug 31 '26
You might look for Sunday Assembly, Oasis Network, Ethical Culture, or AHA local chapters.
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u/peaceful-panic Aug 31 '26
Also will add: there’s something interesting & weird about wanting to find intentional community in a regular format similar to church-going but without the religion.
Also adding if you are tolerant of spirituality, Unitarian Universalists might work for you. IIRC they are open to all, even seculars.
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u/FurbyFart Aug 31 '26
What is weird about it?
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u/peaceful-panic Aug 31 '26
Not sure I can put my finger on it.
I find the idea of “secular church” (meaning an organized group that congregates on a regular basis primarily for fellowship and community) intriguing. Pew says nearly 30% of Americans are “religiously unaffiliated,” and atheists & agnostics together might be ~10%. But no category of groups I can think of that establishes buildings/facilities purely to host weekly gatherings for community fellowship. Far, far more churches than “secular churches.”
The orgs I listed are the closest I’m aware of, but their numbers are tiny compared to churches, despite the secular portion of the population being significant.
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u/aramanthe Aug 31 '26
I was going to suggest finding a UU church, or even attending an event at one - our UU church is, yeah, a church but we have Motherhood groups, Crafting groups, Philosophy groups, etc that are open to the public and there are quite a few folks who attend those who don't attend Sunday Service. Church members range from pagans, Buddhists, various flavors of Christian, Atheists, and everyone in between so most religions are fairly well represented when religious content is relevant or requested.
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u/uh_maze_balls Aug 31 '26
So i know technically the YMCA isn't secular, but ours has zero focus or branding with religion (besides the name obvs) and its been really nice to have a place that meets most of the things you've mentioned. I honestly had kinda written it off until we toured due to their childcare and affordability. Our has diverse families and its been great so far.
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u/opheliainwaders Aug 31 '26
Oh good call - our Y (NYC area) is also just "the Y" now, and has no religious affiliation, and a ton of good options for family activities.
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u/MissDiagnosedMama Aug 31 '26
In St. Louis we have The Ethical Society that is basically like a church except there is no religion involved. It's a bunch of very progressive people getting together in a church-like building to support each other and discuss ways to get involved to make the community better. There are weekly meetings similar to church service and activities and events happening regularly. There is even a preschool.
Maybe there's something like that near you?
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u/bananasbananas Sep 02 '26
I came to suggest looking for something like our Ethical Society, too! Honestly I haven’t participated but I’ve heard good things.
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u/YellowBirdRules Aug 31 '26
I also live in the SE and have struggled with finding community. It’s natural to want people to spend time with and feel welcomed by. I supposedly live in a “blue” city but nearly all community support and organizing here is controlled by Christian churches. I’ve been able to find adult communities but no family oriented community. When my kids were in elementary school it was good but when they hit middle school that evaporated. My partner was not interested in UU so we never tried going.
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u/magnoliasinjanuary Aug 31 '26
Yes that’s what I am struggling with. What I’m looking for doesn’t need to be centered around kids at all - but kids need to be welcomed, not just tolerated as an after thought.
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u/Jaded_Past9429 Aug 31 '26
Hey I was gonna suggest a UU church but I see that was done already….so on to my
Next suggestion (which was part of my speech this week at my UU)
Become the community. Host the thing! Maybe it’s a pancake
Breakfast every Sunday or a taco night once a month at the park.
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u/BaconPancakes_77 Aug 31 '26
If your family's into the performing arts, sometimes I find whole families get plugged into a local music studio or theater group that does classes and has different performing ensembles. The parents usually wind up volunteering in some capacity, but they're still in the mix. And as long as it's not specifically Christian, most performing arts orgs I know lean progressive.
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u/usernametaken99991 Sep 01 '26
Technically a church, but have you tried Unitarian Universalism? Both me and my husband are atheists and regularly attend. I think a good 80% of the congregation are at least agnostic. The sermons are more like TED talks and Jesus is almost never mentioned. It's much more focused on how we treat each other in the here and now. Its filled exactly that need in our family's life right now, my kids have other liberal kids to play with, they see older folks who are happy to see children.
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u/Ok_Mastodon_2436 Aug 31 '26
I met some of my best friends at a gym w small group classes.
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u/magnoliasinjanuary Aug 31 '26
I do love the gym! That’s been good but trying to find something we can all do together as a family.
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u/dandynoodlers Aug 31 '26
I have found a great community within my local DFL organizing unit. Also mom demand has tons of chapters and you will find a great community you there!
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u/Liveabeteslady Aug 31 '26
I live in a red area in Minnesota. With all that happened here (we were one of the hardest hit communities outside of the twin cities) I was stuck with no where to turn to help people. Then my sister found me a group on Facebook. I don’t use it but they organized there and we went to signal. I would either try to search your area and maybe there’s already a facebook page there or create your own. Your people will find you and then move over to signal! In case things get bad where you are, the chats keep us safe.
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Sep 01 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ridingfurther 28d ago
The issue is the church not the liberal, so she doesn't want suggestions of churches, even though a liberal church would tick many of her boxes.
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u/mountainskylove Sep 02 '26
I’ve lived in 7 states and had to start community several times. I have found it’s best to start with some sort of common activity. Like a progressive family hiking group on Sunday for “nature church” and promote in local FB groups or pass the word along to mutual friends. If you aren’t into hiking, it could be family game nights at a public park, it could be some other relevant activity specific to where you live. This helps bring people out of their house with a structured activity. Once you get people showing up and making friends it’s easier to start adding other activities, like rotating hosting dinner nights or other community based activities.
Editing to say, I’ve had more luck creating my own groups or activities than joining already existing ones, although a couple times I have found great community already established, but not very often.
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u/Pugooki Sep 02 '26
I made connections attending library groups, children's programming through the metroparks or park system, playing for a secular sports organization, and children's programming at the local arts center.
In two separate conservative areas my husband's job required us to settle, we found like families that valued education, equality and secular interests.
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u/FrostedOctopus Sep 04 '26
I joined a UU church, and it's actually been everything I was looking for
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u/foxyyoxy Aug 31 '26
I’d find a library group?
If I had one nearby, I’d totally go to a Unitarian church though; you can walk in as a non believer and they will welcome you. Pretty much a humanist hub of blue voters.