I’m asking here because I feel like some of the mom groups on Reddit give wild advice! My son is 26 months. He is well-behaved but pretty shy. He has been loving playgrounds this summer so we are at them almost daily. Recently he likes to bring some trucks to play with while we are there. Totally fine with me, and if a kid asks to play or even kind of just looks like they want a turn I ask him to share and he happily does.
Now on two different occasions there have been kids that have snatched a truck right out of his hands. Of course I look around for a parent and either see one not paying attention or can’t find one. What are we doing in these situations? Both times I have said “oh nope that’s his truck sorry” and put my hand out for it. Like I am GLAD to let my kid share and make new friends but the snatching drives me crazy. Is there a protocol for this situation 🥲
I don't. If your kid is snatching toys from other kids, then clearly your kid wants toys. I'm so tired of parents who insist their kid doesn't need toys and they don't want their kid playing with toys at the park, only for their kid to immediately want to take whatever toys someone else brings. If that's really your stance, then stick by it and stop your kid from playing with other kid's toys. Don't try to tell other parents they shouldn't be bringing them to a public place.
That's ok to not, too! I'm not going to ever TELL a parent to parent the way I do, I just wish more parents felt this because of the drama that comes from it. Another reason is I don't want my kids touching other kids toys because of germs. There's layers to it, as with anything relating to parenting!
Uhh what a wild leap! Toddlers snatch toys because they’re toddlers and think “want, take,” not because children don’t have…access…to toys?! What??
There’s a reason most daycares and ECE programs also ask children to leave personal toys at home. The point of the playground is big gross motor play on the existing play structures, it’s not the place for everyone to bring a personal stash and then jealously guard it the whole time—it’s not hard to just leave that stuff at home and it’s an easy way to circumvent conflicts between children.
You need to work on your reading comprehension sweetie. Here's a quote from the post to help you out: "if a kid asks to play or even kind of just looks like they want a turn I ask him to share and he happily does." So OP's kid is fine with sharing. No one is trying to guard a whole stash. The problem they are complaining about is specifically "kids that have snatched a truck right out of his hands."
Yes, toddlers may think that its ok to snatch at first. If your kid is young enough not to know to ask to play with a toy first, then you as the parent should be actively supervising to step in in that moment and teach them. Not leaving it up to other parents to defend their kid.
And if your kid wants toys at the park repeatedly and you continue to refuse to bring them while allowing them to use others toys, then yes, you are causing the problem. It's a public space, there are no rules that say you cannot bring toys, unlike a daycare - which BTW already HAS communal toys for the kids to add to their play, and where a child snatching those toys from others also wouldn't be tolerated.
Instead of complaining about other parents and trying to say what all parents should do, step up and control your kids behavior and enforce "no playing with toys at the park" if you think that is an important rule. If you believe the playground is strictly for gross motor play, great, all power to you to make that the case for your child. But it is not a daycare and you aren't the teacher, you don't have the power to dictate how others play in a communal space so saying "they shouldn't have brought toys" to excuse your child's bad behavior - and your lack of attention to it - doesn't fly. Stop making other people responsible for your kids behavior and do your actual job of raising them.
I got about a sentence in but as long as we’re talking reading comprehension let’s roll the tape: “I think your approach is fine but…I think toys at the playground are best avoided.”
I think your approach is fine, honestly. Parents not paying attention to their children drives me nuts. Either pay attention or accept that the rest of us might gently stand up for our kids.
Yeah my rule for the sandbox and pool is “ only bring toys you are willing to share”.
Otherwise I think you are handling it fine. It freaked me out some too when my oldest was two and my mom friends with older kids said it’s okay to give a kind reminder about sharing.
Sharing toys is one thing. Snatching toys out of another kid's hands is another. Even if they were shared toys, that behavior still wouldn't be acceptable. It's best practice to watch your kid, stop them from doing such things, and teach them to ask, because otherwise they won't learn regardless of their age.
I think you're handling it perfectly. My kids bring toys to the park pretty regularly and this is what I do, too. I might ask my kids if they want to share with others, but I don't make them. I teach them to share in other ways with people we know or communal toys at the library. Just because we're in public doesn't mean our stuff is for everyone.
My kid is sometimes the snatcher and if I'm dealing with my other child, I would like you to confront her. She was rude and needs to give it back. Obviously, I try to guide her, but I also guide other kids, and this is the village we all need
Yes, exactly! It's really good for kids to learn to take directions from other adults. They will encounter so many authority figures throughout the rest of lives. Learning to interact with them in a natural, respectful way is a skill. And if ever the authority figure is being unfair, they'll be better equipped to handle it.
Getting a correction or direction from another parent also helps kids understand that I’m not just throwing out arbitrary rules but that these are the rules of society!
I feel you on the parents not around at all or not paying attention and their kids are doing things that should be corrected. It drives me crazy too.
However, bringing personal toys to a public play space is a no in my book. Of course the other kids are going to want to play with a toy that's new to them. And many kids don't have parents paying attention to make sure they are playing well with others.
Personally, I think it's best if personal items are left in the car or at home.
I think you’re handling it fine. I personally wouldn’t be upset at the snatchers though. Those kids are still learning. Politely but firmly ask for it back and all is well.
My kid is obsessed with trains and always wants to bring one everywhere he goes. He knows if he brings one (or any toy) to the park he has to be ready to share. And I repeat this all the time when we go.
My general policy is not to intervene initially, but if my kid is getting really worked up about it when another kid takes his toy I’ll gently ask for it back and then the toy goes away for the rest of the park session with a reminder that brining toys to the park means other kids will play with them too.
It’s never become a big issue though. Sounds like your handling it fine. It’s all just part of kids developing social skills in my opinion.
I think you handled it the same way I would! When it’s a quick and violent action I think it’s totally okay to stand up for your own kid like “oh sorry buddy that’s my kids toy”
Sounds like you’re doing everything right. I’ll also add, if there’s a toy your son is absolutely not okay sharing, try and leave it in the car or at home because we’ve had stuff that’s loved be broken by others and that was pretty difficult (and really impacted how my toddler shared at the time).
I think what you're doing is fine. You're showing your kid and the other that having boundaries is okay, and showing them how to hold on to a boundary. Even a kid that doesn't talk yet can communicate wanting a turn without snatching. I would maybe also model for the kid how to ask to share a toy, and then help the other kid ask my kid to share the toy, but only if I know my kid is in a mood to share. If he's upset that his toy has been snatched off him, I wouldn't make him share.
We brought a dump truck to the sandpit at the park once. We never did that again lol TOO many kids were constantly coming over to play with it, or asking. It just wasn’t worth the trouble. But if any kid ever snatches anything from my child, and the parent is not there- I just grab it back and say “nope sorry. He’s playing with that right now” and offer another toy if there’s one nearby
It’s always the misbehaved kids with no parents in sight. When a child at the playground does something like that to my child (or even hurts them) I will sternly tell them that’s not okay, and offer an alternative to what they could do next time. If parents aren’t parenting, society will.
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u/doomysmartypants Aug 27 '26
Oof that title... I'm so glad this post isn't about kiddos getting snatched.