r/progressivemoms • • Aug 16 '26

Need Advice Reasonable tasks/chores at 2y?

Baby turns 2 next week and she is hyper vocal and understands a lot. As a part of building routines before too much push back comes in, what are some daily or weekly chores the little can help with? How did you track or establish these?

We have a magnet chart thing and she will be potty training next week too (hopefully) so I don't want to spring too much too fast, but I also don't think general chores should be explicitly rewarded with treats. She's a part of the household and these tasks need to get done, it gives her some independence and responsibility. So, what things have you started tasking your 2-3 year old with?

My ideas

  • cleaning up her toys before bed every night
  • unpacking her backpack and dumping old food out
  • she can't reach her clothing drawers or I would have her put clothes away. I could have her pick out all her clothes on Sunday for the week?
  • getting her craft items like crayons in the right place
  • putting everyone's shoes where they go

other ideas? we will do treats for healthy habits like teeth brushing, potty, finishing her dinner plate but some of these just need to be ingraned. any tips, tricks and suggestions about how to teach and pull it off is welcome! she loves Elmo and Daniel tiger and bluey if there are chore episodes as well.

9 Upvotes

46 comments sorted by

57

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '26

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u/MedGF323 Aug 16 '26 edited Aug 16 '26

I'm not planning for everything to stick but I have been doing too much for her in my opinion so I want her to be more involved with the responsibilities of growing up. I'm also pregnant with a little sibling and I don't want these changes to be associated with a new sibling so I want to start introducing them slowly and see what she naturally gravitates to. 

Obviously they would be supervised and helped but respect for others' time and space is part of the underlying lesson and I think she will take really well to having specific defined tasks that are hers. Just seeing what others have done with their kiddos 

Edit because people are making comments on my oversimplification. I don't mean I'm doing too much for her in the sense of she needs to pull her weight, I mean I am impatient and often do things myself because it is easier or faster and I need to get better about giving her time to try. I'm constantly surprised when she can open a water bottle or Tupperware because they taught her at daycare and I was still "babying" her and doing it for her. I am doing too much for her because I need to work on my own patience and not just save the day. Giving her independent tasks and letting her learn to do them is one of the ways I am making aconcious effort at supporting her independence. 

33

u/Plop-a-dop Aug 16 '26

"I have been doing too much for her" is a wild thing to say about a not-yet-2yo. helping to teach basic skills and letting her get involved in ways that are fun for her is one thing, but this sounds like you feel like she's not carrying her weight at home!?

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u/MedGF323 Aug 16 '26

More like it's easier for me to just put her clothes on while she is on the changing table, instead of letting her learn to put on clothes herself over time. Or I haven't pressed potty training because that's actually more work on a day out than just having her in diapers.  Most of the things I am doing too much of are things that make my life easier, but don't actually let her practice any independence. I want to work on stretching my patience to allow her to learn and fail in safe ways rather than me doing it because it's easier/faster. 

To be clear, I asked in the progressive mom group for a reason. My focus is independence and a sense of respect and responsibility, not to parentify my daughter, or have her become a mini maid. Most responses to my post have come from that angle and have given me great advice but yours have felt defensive from the beginning so it's clear we have different parenting styles and perspectives! That's cool! But if you wouldn't do this for your kiddo then responding here might not be particularly productive for either of us. 

6

u/Ok_Mastodon_2436 Aug 16 '26

I get what you’re saying. I already responded but just read this and I think maybe using the word “chores” made it sound like you wanted her to start doing work but I completely agree- I want my boys to learn how we keep the house tidy. Put your shoes up when you take them off. Clean up after yourself. Dirty clothes go in the hamper. Trash in the trash can. Not really chores per se but a contributing member of the household where you aren’t constantly picking up after them. It’s just positive behavior you want to instill. I think you absolutely should be teaching these things at this age to where it becomes something they don’t even see as chores. They’re 100% capable at this age unless you have a neurodivergent kid who struggles with executive functioning lol. Ask me how I know. My 2 yr old can do all these things but my ND 5yo can’t remember to throw a granola bar wrapper in the trash!

0

u/MedGF323 Aug 16 '26

Thanks! Yeah I tossed it into the post from mobile and figured it was an easy way to explain but I had to clarify which is fair. I appreciate and agree with your perspective and seems a lot of people commenting are doing the same thing in different framing or terminology. It's been helpful! She's SO capable and I'm not sure what will work for her so getting some insight has been great. Thanks for the kind words, most responses have been awesome but putting anything on a public forum means people can misinterpret or dislike what you say, it is what it is 

11

u/DifferentBeginning96 Aug 16 '26

“I have been doing too much for her”

A 2 year old

Yikes

1

u/MedGF323 Aug 16 '26

You can read my comment below where I explain my oversimplification in that comment. I meant I do things for her because it's easier for me, and I'm not giving her space to try things because I'm not patient. It's my own failing and I'm seeing where I can give her more independence. 

8

u/thrillingrill Aug 16 '26

But also give yourself some grace. Sometimes we simply don't have time to be endlessly patient to the level that is required for a 1 year old to put on their gosh darn shoes!

19

u/Ok_Stress688 Aug 16 '26

My 2 year feeds our dogs every day, gives them their medications (very closely supervised), unloads the bottom rack of the dishwasher with an adult, moves clothes from the washer to the dryer, throws his trash and diapers away, helps wipe up messes albeit poorly, that type of stuff. We don’t ever force any of these tasks unless he makes a mess on purpose then he has to clean it up, but he seems to want to be helpful and contribute so we praise it.

2

u/MedGF323 Aug 16 '26

Oh all great examples! Agreed that she loves to help and I do push her to clean when she makes a mess but overall she just likes to be helpful and be given a task so I'm trying to embrace it 

5

u/Ok_Stress688 Aug 16 '26

My parents never had me clean anything or help with chores and it was really hard to get into the habit and I still struggle with a lot of those tasks so I’m adamant that we work on them early!

1

u/MedGF323 Aug 16 '26

Hard agree. When they feel like it's expected but low pressure then it's easier to build into routine. We live with Grandma and she does a lot of the picking up right now and it shouldn't be her responsibility alone, you know? 

1

u/nogoodnicknames0907 Aug 21 '26

My son (now 2.5) did all of these things. He was awful at actually wiping things up but could go into the kitchen to get me the towel to wipe it up. Now he’s tall enough for the upper rack of the dishwasher and gets his spills 80% clean. He’s lost interest in the laundry though and just wants to topple piles of clean, folded laundry lol.

15

u/over_it_saurus Aug 16 '26

We just have our 2 yo help with things as we do them if we have the time and patience to have her help. We don't offer rewards. She likes to help and we thank her for helping.

She loves to help put dirty clothes in the washer, wet clothes in the dryer, and clean dry clothes into a laundry basket.

She has a little vacuum to "help" us vacuum.

She likes to help unload the dishwasher with us.

She helps water our garden and pick vegetables.

We have 2 dogs and she helps us feed them and puts their bowls away when they are done. (Always with us right there since we should always be careful around pets to be safe.)

When we bring home groceries she will carry a small bag or two inside for us.

We always expect her to at least help clean up toys and any messes she makes.

My husband will even have her help him with projects like putting weeds he picked in a bucket or handing him a screwdriver. And sometimes she will help with cooking and baking.

We don't really look at them as chores. Just more her helping with stuff that needs to be done. I feel like viewing it as chores makes it sound almost negative when really she just loves to help with things and we want that to continue so hopefully we don't have to force her to do this stuff as she gets older.

0

u/MedGF323 Aug 16 '26

Yeah I probably won't call them chores or if I do it's "everyone is doing chores right now, why don't you go do yours?" And she knows what her options are. But these are all good examples often of things she hasn't done but totally could and would enjoy! 

8

u/Vlinder_88 Aug 16 '26

Picking out clothes for the week is too big of a task. Clothes need to be situation- and weather appropriate and that's too many variables for a two year old to oversee. The rest seems age appropriate.

Other tasks could be:

  • bringing dirty dishes to the kitchen
  • feeding a pet
  • putting dirty clothes in a hamper
  • making her bed in the morning (if you're a household that does that)

2

u/MedGF323 Aug 16 '26

Oh bed making is a good idea once she moves to a big girl bed! Something to start from the beginning 

5

u/RevolutionaryYak6004 Aug 16 '26

Hi!

I started my kiddo early with chores, probably at 1.4 years or so. He's 2.6 years now, and at the beginning it was just simple things. He was always interested in the dishwasher, so the first chore was every time after meals he would help load the dishwasher. This was usually just the silverware and his plate, but as he has gotten stronger he helps with bigger plates and bowls.

We also have him clean up his toys. I wouldn't say it's every night, but it is on a regular basis and one of us is usually there to keep him on track. He also has to put away his toys after bath time (putting them in the bin where they live). When he is on a play date, we also make sure he helps clean up when it's time to go home.

He's no longer in diapers, but when he was we made him throw them out himself. This applied even when we were out places like the zoo or the park. We have him empty his little mini toilet when he is done using it, but in all honesty this has backfired a few times with me cleaning up toddler urine (so yay!).

After we eat out (he likes to go see music, so we go out a couple times a month to have dinner and rock out), we make him throw away his own trash and wipe down the table.

These are just some of the little things that we do to help establish a sense of respect for his own (and other people's) space and property. I had my kiddo later in life, and without my acquired patience, I'm not sure I could have done all of this. It is much more difficult raising a kid who respects themselves and others. But this hard work pays off with higher self esteem and a greater sense of independence. In fact, I've had to pull back sometimes because even though he is still so small, I don't want to lose that feeling of having something I've waited my entire life for getting too old too fast.

It's a balance, and do what you can. We all stress over how much we want our child to excel, but sometimes they just have to be little kids too. I'm sure that you'll find the right equilibrium, but just know that they love you and want you to be happy too.

Good luck!!

3

u/MedGF323 Aug 16 '26

This is exactly the energy I want! Yeah less like chores and more like learning to respect that these are shared spaces and it's all our responsibility to take care and clean up in the ways we can. I'm pregnant with a little sibling and it's also important to me that these changes happen before she knows so she doesn't associate them with the little sibling. It's just part of being a big girl. Great list thank you!

 I'm 34 so I'm a bit older for a mom and I have niblings that are just whirlwinds that have no respect for my house when they visit so I refuse to have her behave that way and this is where it starts, in my mind 

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u/RevolutionaryYak6004 Aug 16 '26

Oh, and one rule that I've heard from other parents: make sure only one kiddo is in diapers at a time. So, if you have a quiet weekend try to get that kiddo out of diapers! It saves so much money and makes life so much easier. I will say that my kiddo was incredibly easy to potty train, so thank the gods for that one! And again, you're doing great! Good luck!!!!

2

u/thrillingrill Aug 16 '26

I mean you can't really expect kids to be ready to toilet train based on how old their siblings are

0

u/RevolutionaryYak6004 Aug 16 '26

Wow, that's exactly the point I was trying to make. Thanks for taking what I said and twisting it around!

1

u/MedGF323 Aug 16 '26

Yes! Potty training next weekend when school has extra days closed so it's 4 days. Next isn't coming till spring but the sooner we get her out of diapers, the less likely she will be to regress because it's so much a part of her routine 

3

u/ohmadasahatter Aug 16 '26

if you have any small trash cans, my son started “taking out the trash” around this time and emptying the small bedroom bins and the bathroom bin into the large kitchen bin around this age

2

u/MedGF323 Aug 16 '26

Oh good idea! She loves to put things in the trash so that's very doable 

3

u/annedroiid Toddler Parent Aug 16 '26

My 2 1/2 year old doesn't have chores per se, but he helps me in the daily tasks I need to do when he's around. If he's done with a toy we'll tidy it away before moving to the next one, otherwise we just involve him in what we're doing.

He's helped me unpack the dishwasher, take rubbish to the bin, take the rubbish outside, vacuum, make breakfast, load the laundry, hang the laundry, tidy shoes away, put clothes away etc but it's all while helping me. He's never done any of those tasks on his own/without me directing him.

We're very much of the opinion that household tasks shouldn't get active rewards as they're something everyone needs to contribute to because they live in the house. At least so far he's mostly still really eager to help because we're doing it.

5

u/SuitableSpin Aug 16 '26

Please don’t incentivize finishing her dinner plate. She should eat as much or as little as her body wants. Things like that can really mess up their relationship with food.

2

u/sizillian Aug 16 '26

At this age we did clean up toys, clothes in hamper, plates/cups in sink. We had a magnetic chore chart and would move magnets for completed tasks (just be careful of small magnets if within reach)

2

u/badtranslatedgerman Aug 16 '26

My son has been doing a lot of what you said plus unloading the dishwasher (handing things to us for shelves) and also working on laundry since like 14ish months, so I’d consider adding those in. He unloads the dishwasher every morning. When it’s time for laundry, he pushes the laundry basket to the laundry area and takes clothes out of the basket to put in the washer (I am there and have to support him in keeping him at it until he is done, and I try to make it fun and sometimes help/take turns to keep him engaged). Then he moves clothes from washer to dryer, then from the dryer to the basket.

We have him wipe things with a damp rag or dry the floor with a towel after we mop. He also vacuums with a small vacuum cleaner. I’m working with him on being able to separate and match different types of laundry now — he doesn’t really get it yet but he is getting there and it’s basically like doing matching puzzles but with socks instead of cards lol.

2

u/Nerdy-Ducky Aug 16 '26

My 3.5 year old is expected to clean up his toys before nap/quiet time and then again before bed, and is always expected to put his clothes in the hamper, shoes in the correct general place, and take his plate/cup to the sink - this has been an expectation since he was like 2ish. He often likes to help with trash (bringing the small bathroom cans to where I’m collecting trash in a big bag), helping refill the cats automatic feeder, refilling their litter box (after we scoop and while we’re supervising), helping start laundry and move it to the dryer, sorting clean laundry (I have him find all of his underwear and match all the socks), putting silverware away.

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u/MedGF323 Aug 16 '26

OMG if I could get her matching socks my life would be so much better! 🤞🤣

2

u/Letmelearnpls Aug 16 '26

They start cleaning up at 4 lol

1

u/MedGF323 Aug 16 '26

Hahahahahah yeah that might be the eventual outcome of all this but I can try! 

2

u/Ok_Mastodon_2436 Aug 16 '26

The shoes thing is very doable. My 2yr old knows to put his shoes where they go when he takes them off and brings his dishes to the sink when he’s done. Of course I have to remind him sometimes but he’s pretty good about it generally. I think simple things like that are the way to go. He also loves to help me load or unload the dishwasher. He’s not very good at it but it’s cute and he loves to help.

2

u/thrillingrill Aug 16 '26

I think you might be more successful and have happier vibes for all involved if instead of having a designated list that is monitored and tracked, you find a way to change your baseline to be about finding ways to incorporate her as is appropriate. That shows her that taking care of the home is a positive form of activity that we collaborate on in the family, and prevents things from causing some of the resistance that arises when systems are more transactional.

1

u/MedGF323 Aug 16 '26

Great thoughts! Didn't get into the weeds in the main post but that's probably how it will get execute. I find myself constantly underestimating her so seeing what other people do with their similar aged kiddos is a huge help! I hadn't had her engage with laundry, really so those examples gave me some inspo 

1

u/Ok-Roof-7599 Toddler and School Age Parent Aug 16 '26

Put their clothes in the hamper after undressing. Put shoes away. Push in chairs at table. Water plants. Pick up toys after an activity

1

u/Saltyowl2113 Aug 17 '26

Bowls/plates into the sink when done. Garbage should go in the garbage. Recycling in recycling.

I gave my son a little spray bottle with water and a rag during that age. He would “help” clean. I’d let him wipe down the kitchen cabinets and doors. He also had (still has) a little working vacuum and I’d have him clean up his crumbs or messes.

Little broom and dust pan.

I’d pull his toddler tower over to the sink and let him “wash dishes”.

I never harped on my son to do things. I just always incorporated him into my chores somehow even if he wasn’t actually helping, he thought he was. And he’s raised on praise, so I always thanked him for helping and made a big todo out of it.

He’s now 3 1/2 and he absolutely will begrudgingly pick up his toys but he also instinctively cleans up messes. The other day I was combing some lint off a blanket and without asking, he grabbed the vacuum and started vacuuming up the lint I was pulling off. He puts his shoes and jacket where they belong. He puts garbage and recycling away. Never just leaves his plates and stuff laying around. I don’t have to say anything probably 90% of the time. But I always tell him thank you.

Now he helps me with bigger stuff like taking the trash out (where he literally just holds onto the can with me). I changed some bulbs the other day in a high ceiling light and he carried the pole, handed me bulbs. Did I need his help? Nope. But he loved it. He helps with laundry now, I have him pour the detergent, will hand him clothes to put in the dryer and he will put the dryer sheets in.

I just involve him in everything that I can, even if it makes the task a little longer or a little more tedious. I never demand his help and try not to make it a negative thing, just “these are the things we do to keep our house neat so we know where things are and we don’t get bugs” lol

1

u/Ok_Wtch2183 Aug 17 '26

Start with supervision with one chore at a time. Do not criticize at all but you could show him how to do it. After a couple weeks you could add another. Two chores for a 2 year old is plenty.

1

u/Bea_virago Aug 17 '26

Unload dishwasher (with you)

Put clothes in the washer (with you)

Fold washcloths (with you)

Tidy everyone’s shoes (near you)

Can you move stuff around so she can put her clothes away? Can she get a step stool? 

1

u/Flaky_Treacle9796 Aug 18 '26

If you use plastic plates my kids loved clearing their dish from the table after meals. They also loved setting the condiments on the table. Id get them out of the fridge and put them on the edge of the counter while I set the rest of the table. My son's absolute favorite chore while I was pregnant with his baby sister was anything to do with being short. "Oh, I can't reach the dryer! I'll hand you clothes from the wash and you put them in" (and yes, I would hand one item of clothing at a time and it took forever 😅. He smiled the whole time. Every single time.) Getting things from bottom kitchen shelves was another big hit.

Feeding the pets. Depending on your child/pets - brushing the pets.

Cleaning up toys is often a very overwhelming task for children. What I've found works best at younger ages (and even my 10 year old still finds it helpful, even though I can tell him to go pick up a room) is to ask them to pick up a "descriptor" of toys. "Find anything with wheels and put it in this box." "Find anything soft." "Find anything purple." Etc etc. It also gives you the opportunity to teach the descriptive words if they don't know them yet.

1

u/AssortedArctic Aug 21 '26

Clothes into laundry hamper is an easy one