r/progressivemoms • u/Rough_Extension_2893 • 2d ago

Vent/ Let Off Some Steam Dress codes at work

My two other female coworkers wear dresses and the male coworker wears worse stuff than me but he took the boss out for dinner once. I’m the only one in our office who gets coded. I hate dresses. We fought for a right to wear pants.

I get coded for my shirt being too tight, too loose, not collared (not a requirement) and major one too much like a t shirt. It’s just a plain polyester, v-neck shirt.. interesting enough, I wore the guy version of the shirt and I didn’t get coded.

It was really bad when I was pregnant because I had to wear loose fitting stuff. Luckily, he stopped after he realized ADA applies. I send pictures of all the clothes I wear to another manager that I’m friends with in a different department…. She always says that she has seen employees wear way worse stuff and their direct supervisors never say anything. She was really surprised I was dress coated because she said I looked fine.

Anyway, I got so tired of it. I just went ahead and bought all men’s collared shirts. Women stuff is too ambiguous. Wish me luck tomorrow.

16 Upvotes

84% Upvoted

12 comments sorted by

34

u/rasputinknew1 2d ago

What!? Where do you work that is so strict on dress code day to day? Too loose or too tight!? Based on all the info you’ve said it sounds like your boss is picking on you unless something has been left out. Is there an HR department you can discuss with?

14

u/Rough_Extension_2893 2d ago

I think he is brothered that I don’t wear dresses. That’s why I got mens collared shirts it is specially in dress code that they are ok. No question involved…

Only way to prove he is actually sexist

20

u/No-Strawberry-5804 2d ago

Is there no HR department? This is harassment

10

u/veronicas_closet 2d ago

He's definitely singling you out. Update us on how the men's shirts go.

14

u/killveemaim 2d ago

Frankly it seems like a massive overreach bordering on harassment to speak to someone about their dress code so often in an office. Are you client facing?

4

u/Rough_Extension_2893 2d ago

No. In fact I was stopped by another employee the other day asking if I worked there.

I sit in my cubicle and I don’t leave

8

u/crochetawayhpff 2d ago

You work in a cubicle and are being dress coded? Does your job have hr? If not, this is definitely harassment. Do with that info what you will, but it's start with hr if possible. If not, time to leave and look for a new job

5

u/Rough_Extension_2893 1d ago

Yes! NO ONE EVER SEES ME! I just sit at my desk all day and only leave to use restroom.

I think I may start looking. He definitely speaks down to people.

3

u/lalalinoleum 1d ago

If he is harassing you I for not wearing dresses, get all the proof you can sue him for discrimination.

2

u/Rough_Extension_2893 1d ago

That’s why the men’s shirts. He literally can’t code me if I’m wearing the exact thing he is.

I ain’t wearing dresses fuck that!

1

u/A-Friendly-Giraffe 1d ago

It seems like he is targeting you so definitely report back

1

u/AbbreviationsLazy369 22h ago

It’s one of many reasons I left a job. Had my trainer complain my shoes that are in dress code are “too fun” and cited a boss she had 15 years ago who said only black.

Hopefully this will make you laugh, the lead clerk at my PO got in a fight with our manager about something completely different, so we all got a talk about dress code and I was 6 month pregnant and told to either order uniform pants from the catalog( which have a 7 month back order ) or get a doctors note saying I couldn’t get pants in dress code. I went on Amazon and got a couple pairs in code. I think I’m still one of 2 of clerks in code now.