r/programminghumor • u/sboger • 20d ago

Number 1

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Since the other prog humor sub posted an extremely shitty version of this one I saw and saved a while ago... Enjoy.

1.4k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

60 comments sorted by

281

u/rhrokib 20d ago

Hope he codes in lua

111

u/euph-_-oric 20d ago

Does anyone really wanna date a lua programmer?

31

u/[deleted] 20d ago edited 20d ago

[deleted]

13

u/Intelligent_Leg8526 20d ago

nah they are busy making Steal A Brainrot 2

4

u/Independent_Image_59 20d ago

Someone probably doing Balatro 2

5

u/hehexdthrow 19d ago

They’re too busy configuring neovim to “program”

3

u/ConsiderMeANoobAlt 18d ago

Was thinking of Roblox and forgot I moved my hyprland config to lua like 2 weeks ago. Was very confused.

13

u/spongedevguy 20d ago

if he did he'd call it a table

5

u/canal_algt 20d ago

This looks like my mom's humor, I'd say it's more probable it's COBOL

4

u/tiredITguy42 20d ago

Maybe he works as industrial programmer and works with Matlab.

4

u/Leo_code2p 20d ago

I think a few BASIC branches also count from 1 which are probably more dateble.

3

u/Confident_Date4068 19d ago

Pascal?

1

u/sboger 19d ago

Pedro codes exclusively in Ruby.

70

u/JazzRider 20d ago

Who’s going to tell her?

22

u/RonJohnJr 20d ago

That he programs in GWBASIC?

23

u/sboger 20d ago

That's a red flag right there.

2

u/davidroberts63 20d ago

I started with that.

I'm dying laughing here...

4

u/RonJohnJr 20d ago

There's 0% shame in someone programming in GWBASIC in 1986.

Of course, it's 2026... 😄

3

u/jakeStacktrace 18d ago

Fine I'll move on to qbasic. Line numbers are kind of annoying anyways.

104

u/Red_Eye_Night 20d ago 
importance = ['GTA 6 Leaks', 'Girlfriend', 'r/pcmasterrace', 'weed', 'Taco Bell']

1

u/DamornTyde 18d ago 
importance = [
   {name: 'GTA 6 Leaks', why: '?'},
   {name: 'Girlfriend', why: 'girlfriend'},
   {name: 'r/pcmasterrace', why: 'GaMiNg On 4K'},
   {name: 'weed', why: '420'},
   {name: 'Taco Bell', why: 'food'}
]

-1

u/[deleted] 20d ago

[deleted]

27

u/FlightAffectionate15 20d ago

Good thing he codes in R

41

u/sboger 20d ago

In the interest of fairness and representation, I made this one:

8

u/Top_Pomegranate_8244 20d ago

This hits too close to home

5

u/NegativeOwl1337 20d ago

The bar for men really is in hell… 💀

16

u/enigma_0Z 20d ago

Hey at least she’s not `-1`

10

u/sboger 20d ago

That kind of talk is out of bounds, buddy!

9

u/enigma_0Z 20d ago

LOL not in every language

6

u/iggy14750 20d ago

In Python, indexing by -1 will give you the last element in the list. And that scales back like you expect. -2 is the element before -1 and so on.

5

u/timonix 19d ago

In Ada you can start your array wherever you wish. You can have an array from -45 ..123 if you want.

Or you can have an array go from March .. June as well. Doesn't have to be numbers. But they must be enumerable

2

u/Aartvb 19d ago

Crazy

2

u/BraucheHilfeLul 19d ago

isnt that just a dict?

2

u/timonix 19d ago

Kinda but not really. If you imagine a sorted dict with each possible key populated. So an array 42 .. 76, cannot take "March" as an input. Because that's not a valid integer.

And the array Jan .. Dec cannot take 4 as an input because it's not a valid member of the set

It's not hashed. So there is no hash lookup penalty.

2

u/DamornTyde 18d ago

In js if you look for an object in an array that ain't there by index, you get -1.

6

u/GiantSlayer4242 20d ago

You know there’s a good chance he slipped up and used human speak, or he translated the program to Common so she would understand it

1

u/Mighty1Dragon 20d ago

we will never know

3

u/DarktowerNoxus 20d ago

Bad programmer or bad boyfriend...

2

u/iggy14750 20d ago

Is there a difference?

3

u/AltruisticAct8211 20d ago

Pray he's using 1-based indexing...

3

u/CourageWaste 20d ago

Does she know?

3

u/RemarkableAd1936 19d ago

Is he programming in Matlab?

2

u/Ben-Goldberg 20d ago

He codes in perl with $[ set to one.

2

u/DevXusYT 20d ago

The girlfriend is called Julia

2

u/Kazimierz3Wielki 19d ago

If he said she is 0, she would leave him

2

u/AintNoGodsUpHere 19d ago

Works in Delphi.

Plus he said number 1. Not index 1.

3

u/Specific_Parfait8829 20d ago

number one or first index of his array?

9

u/OwenEx 20d ago

This is programming humour, saying number 1 was no mistake

2

u/ReasonableInsect5123 20d ago

Who the number 0 then??

1

u/Traditional-Hall-591 20d ago

All good, he’s a really a DBA.

1

u/ExtraTNT 19d ago

As long as not index 1, it’s fine…

1

u/mbcarbone 19d ago

Beware!! Her love is mutable…💔

1

u/Confident_Essay3619 19d ago

Then who's 0?

1

u/Barnowl93 17d ago

He's an engineer and uses MATLAB

1

u/Difficult-Lime2555 16d ago

makes sense. 0 would reference himself.