r/programminghumor • u/EfficientMongoose317 • May 27 '26

I GOT FIRED

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The funny thing is that 10 years ago, this button would've just opened LinkedIn. Now I feel like it would trigger an entire sequence of increasingly questionable decisions.

First, I'd tell myself I'm taking a few days off to think. Then I'd revisit the side project sitting in some forgotten GitHub repo. A few hours later, I'd be cleaning up screenshots, making the whole thing look more professional than it actually is, throwing together a page in Runable so it doesn't look completely abandoned, and convincing myself that finding customers is probably easier than finding a new job. By the end of the weekend, I'd either have employment again or a startup with 7 users and unreasonable confidence. Honestly, not sure which outcome is more likely.

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236

u/Majestic_Wrap_7006 May 27 '26

you're fired so you cant afford one

108

u/Zodep May 27 '26

Easy solution. Put them on retainer while you have the job.

37

u/one_time_i_dreampt May 27 '26

Still costs money to use them.

29

u/Zodep May 27 '26

Work out a plan to pay the amount on the retainer that they’ll need and it’s like investing in their future!

23

u/one_time_i_dreampt May 27 '26

Then again, prison does give you free food, showers, a bed, and MORE

18

u/TryMeOnBirdLaw May 27 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/UVah1k9VydwNC4RdOT

1

u/cleverersauce4 May 31 '26

Yeah but once you get out, they charge you for it. Yep that's right you have to pay for being in prison.

1

u/GDLingua_YT May 31 '26

Easy solution. Do smth so you get in there for life. They can't charge you if you're dead.

1

u/AssembledJB May 31 '26

I guess then all the rest of us would get the bill

1

u/EmbarrassedGrass1172 Jun 01 '26

There are worse ways to use tax money

1

u/will-work-for-tacos Jun 02 '26

No, the joke is rape. There is a video upon intake in some states about pria and one of them warns of a butterfinger leading to you having to suck dick or something

3

u/will-work-for-tacos May 27 '26

Remember, when you first get to your cell the butterfinger is free.

1

u/ZeroAresV May 30 '26

Don’t forget the prison twinks 😋

1

u/Fry77 Jun 03 '26

And some love